An Open Letter to the Stupid Idiot Sitting Behind Me at the Movies Last Friday (and her boyfriend):
Obviously, from the get-go, I knew you were an idiot. You showed up to "I Am Legend" over 20 minutes into the movie, which means you have no concept of time. Just like you have no concept of the fact that there were other people enjoying a movie and maybe you should sit your ass down quickly since you are completely disturbing those people by coming in late to a movie.
But this wasn't the topper for you. Of course not, you are an idiot. You had to ask your precious boyfriend (whose lap you were practically sitting on) every times something happened in the movie, and he had to explain to you what was going on. Which means I got to listen to all of your idiotic questions since you have no concept of whispering.
AND, finally, thanks for announcing to everyone around you that something scary just happened.
Seriously, you are a complete tool. If plots of movies are so freaking hard for you to follow (and really, "I Am Legend" is NOT THAT HARD TO FOLLOW) you should probably stick to watching movies at home so no one else has to listen to your fucking idiotic questions.
You are damn lucky that all I did was shush you a couple of times (which did nothing to shut you up. Because I am sick of having my movie going experience ruined by people like you. If being in a public setting is just to hard for your tiny mind to grasp, please for the love of all that's holy - DON'T GO TO THE MOVIE THEATER.
Or at least don't sit behind me.