Thursday, February 23, 2006

Overheard at the Gym

Picture this in a very high-pitched Valley Girl type accent that's really really gratingly loud. Also, just to paint this picture for you, this person is the type to stay on the Cardio machines for over an hour EVEN THOUGH THE SIGNS SAYS "30 minute Time Limit", so she re-sets her time every 1/2 hour even if there are people waiting to get on a machine...

"So, I had one of those days yesterday where I just realized everyone I work with is stupid. Like Lisa*. I mean, once someone told her they could totally tell she was not college educated and now she's all fixated on it and paranoid about that."

WOW. That's like walking up to a really fat person and saying "I can totally tell you eat A LOT." and then being all surprised that you hurt their feelings.


*Not her real name. I was too busy trying to get my brain to not leak out of my ear to deal with people's names and such.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

It Was Funny Then Too

The color printer for my office was acting up, so I was on the phone with IT trying to get it straightened out. IT Guy asks if he can take remote control over my computer, I say sure!

He looks around at a few things as I explain what the problem is. He prints a test page. I go to see if it works.

It does.

When I come back, he says, "I'm going to open an email and print it just to make sure everything is working. Can I print this email?"

Before it opens I say "Sure" because what could I possibly have in my work email that would be personal?

As the email opens I begin laughing very hard. He catches this and says "I won't read it."

The email was between a co-worker/friend of mine, containing various personal information about the Diva Cup, the pill, cycling together and how many Valentine's Days I have been on my period.

Needless to say, I didn't want to draw any more attention to the email, so I just continue quietly giggling as I check the color printer to make sure it worked.

After I get off the phone, I am laughing so hard I can barely talk. Leave it to me to have a VERY personal email opened and printed by the super sweet IT Guy. Luckily he has a wife and daughter so if he did read it, I highly doubt it was new information for him.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

So Many Things

I may just number this to make it easier:

1. My niece has a brain infection. I totally thought these types of things only happened in soap operas, but here it is in real life. My poor niece has not had the easiest of lives so far. First she was diagnosed with Tourettes Syndrome and they put her on some awful medicines and now this. Please send good thoughts to my niece in Texas as she is in quarantine in her home for a month as she is on some serious meds that make her sleep all the time. Also, because of our Presidents freaking genius, "No Child Left Behind" crap, she is going to have to repeat a grade because of being out sick. The thing is, she isn't far behind and has amazing grades, but because she doesn't have the exact number of days in school, she is being punished. I hate our President and his completely idiotic ideas.

2. Valentine's Day is not over for me yet! As I type this, The Boyfriend just received a package from Café Press of some shirt that he designed for me and won't tell me what it is no matter how many times I call home and ask what I am getting.

3. Today is my Future Maybe Mother-in Law's* Birthday! Happy Birthday Marcia! Hope you have a great day!

4. I am no longer using tampons ever again now that I have tried the Instead Cup. I love it. Despite some, um, interesting beginnings, I am now completely in love with this and will never ever use anything else except some other kind of cup because good god people, these things are amazing. If you haven't tried it, please do so. You will understand why I am so happy. I mean 12 HOURS BEFORE YOU HAVE TO CHANGE ANYTHING!!!!
Also, less waste to throw away. Good for you, good for the planet. Everyone wins!

5. I am mostly finished with my first non-scarf knitting project, except I think the pattern was wrong or I read it wrong, but now I need to either start over or go buy more yarn to try and fix it. Instead of deciding I have left it sitting on the back of my couch for a couple of weeks now because I am mad at it for being wrong, so I guess I am punishing my poncho.

6. Does anyone else think we need to get some money together and send Garet to his own vocal lessons? If you watch American Idol, I am talking about the sweet cowboy from Wyoming. He was so damn cute and nice and actually aware of the extent of his talent. I adore him.
Ah! He has a website!

I guess that is all.

* We (being Marcia and I) came up with this name for her awhile ago because we both thought it was funny and I was sick of being introduced at The Boyfriends Girlfriend because really, we have been dating for a long time and "girlfriend" just sounds to temporary. So does "this is my Boyfriends Mom." I forgot about it until I starting writing this post. I may have to start using it again.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Why Me

So, The Boyfriend and I had a wild night last night of shopping at Costco. Whenever we are done with our actual shopping, The Boyfriend likes to look around the DVD section, to see if he can find any DVD's that he will then convince me we HAVE TO HAVE.
Since I don't really care to wander the DVD section (seriously, it is always busy and full of rude people who don't understand personal space) I decided to wander around the women's clothes section.

The women's clothes section of Costco depresses me. I feel so bad for the employees who are always there and always refolding the crap people just throw back somewhere near the pile they picked it up from. It just seems like a never ending job and no one even pays attention to what you are doing. Seriously, I don't know how these people don't snap and start screaming at the customers who walk up right next to them and completely tear apart a pile of clothes they just finished folding. I would actually pay to see that happen.
Anyhoo, the clothes section didn't have anything weird or interesting, so I started meandering towards the DVD's when this man stops me and in a very thick eastern european accent, asks if this is the only women's section in Costco. Now, I had noticed this man not just because he was intently inspecting items in the women's section, but because he seemed to need someone to notice that he was looking at women's clothes.
I answer him that it is.
"I am looking for something for my mother."
I say that's nice and begin walking away.
"Can I ask you something?"
Now here is where I should have just continued walking away. But NOOOO, I turn around and look at him.
"Have I seen you somewhere before? I work in Santa Monica? Do you live around here?"
I answer "I don't hang out in Santa Monica, so no, you probably have not seen me before."
"Don't you live around here?"
"Yes, I live in this general area, but I have not met you before." I continue edging away from him as I am now completely annoyed.
"Well I swear I have seen you before. Are you just looking around?"
"Well, my boyfriend is right over there looking at movies and I am looking at clothes."
He asks me my name. I tell him my first name. He shakes my hand and tells me his name is Sage and that I have a pretty name. (Really, I don't think my first name is all that exciting, so this is how I usually know some guy is just trying anything to get me to talk to him.)
He starts rambling about how he works in Century City, that his work just moved there and something about how he is around this area a lot and asking if I am American. I am totally not paying attention as I am calculating how quickly I can get away from him and how fast I can convince The Boyfriend that we need to leave the store immediately.
I say "Nice meeting you I have to go."
He says "Maybe I will see you around again. Or we could meet for Green Tea sometime."
I walk away.

Okay, I have never been one to get hit on a lot. I know it usually takes me a little bit to realize "Hey, this person is hitting on you!?"
But seriously, how many freaking people have fallen for the "I am looking for something for my Mother" line? I could give a crap that you are picking something out for you Mom. I mean, what kind of creep doesn't pick up on body language or the name drop of Boyfriend and back off? WHY IN CRAPS SAKE DID HE THINK I WOULD GO GET GREEN TEA WITH SOME STRANGE GUY I MET IN THE WOMEN'S CLOTHES SECTION OF COSTCO?
Why didn't I call The Boyfriend "my fiance'" like I usually do when someone weird starts talking to me?

At least we got "Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit ." That makes me happy. But I don't think I should have to suffer through extremely bad attempts at getting picked up just for cheap DVD's.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Nuts to You!

So, I don't have my Traders Joe's stuff written yet, but for now, I would like to say Nuts to You stupid freaking California weather! Seriously, it's February. Last year everyone was worried about all the rain and this year all I worry about is whether or not I can shove a knife through my temple without causing any serious damage. Because some days a knife would feel better than the sinus pressure I am dealing with.
And again, why does every weatherperson act like 85 degrees is great! Brilliant! The best weather every! I am going to kick them all in the head.
Right around their sinus area.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Monday, Monday

So, umm, I seem to have spring fever and it's only February.

I have felt like I am barely holding my crap together ALL DAY. But in a good way. Like I am all giddy for really no reason. Which is a good thing because I started today hating the world and pretty much most people in it.