Monday, May 16, 2005

When I Am Old I Will Wear Whatever the Hell I Want

This was supposed to be posted on Friday, but I couldn't quite get it right. So I am posting it today after I worked on it a little. And by working on it I mean I just got back from a lunch screening of "Star Wars Episode 3" and I feel like I should throw something up for people to read today!!!!

So, I'm watching/vaguely listening to the news this morning as I was getting ready for work and two really caught my attention.

First of all, I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that the government really believes that women shouldn't be allowed on the front lines because the men, they may get distracted. That's just insulting to everyone. It implies that women are incapable of handling themselves and men are too stupid to not be thinking about sex while being shot at. And, they think the men will be too pre-occupied with protecting the women. Oh seriously, I wish the President would just come out and say that he wishes all women were back in the kitchen where God wanted them and be done with it. Geesh. Like we haven't all seen the part in war movies where some guy/guys risk life and limb just to save some other guy they bonded with in a fox hole. Maybe they should just make sure the front lines are all manned with disgruntled divorcee's and baby-daddies who are so over women, then the government wouldn't have to worry about it.

The second story that caught me attention was about the "Red Hat Society". Okay, first of all, the poem is called "When I Am An Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple". As much as I think it's a really sappy poem, I do believe that our society is WAY too youth oriented and we do not give enough respect to the people who have been around longer.

With that said, why do older women insist on making fools of themselves while trying to establish themselves as a force to be reckoned with? Why do you have to wear gloves with feathers on them? Or boas? Or purple satin dresses? Nowhere in the poem that they are using as their guidebook does it say "I will dress like a psychotic southerner who has gone colorblind" nor does it say "I will wear ugly purple satin ball gowns and awful red hats and place feathers all over my outfit and generally make a total fool of myself all while demanding that you take me seriously".

Really, if you want people to respect you, maybe this is not quite the way to go about it. I am all for an attempt to alter societies idea to hold up Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan as role models for youngsters, but I also would never want my daughter to think that she needs to dress crazy/tacky in order to get a little attention. Older women are smart, sexy, talented, wise and usually have less body image problems than young women. But, alas, in today's society they are written off as silly and out of date and THIS STUPID RED HAT THING DOESN'T HELP! What exactly do these societies do? I did a little research on this while trying to find the poem in it's entirety, and the official "Red Hat Society" web-page didn't offer much help except in explaining that they get together for tea, and then listed all the times they have been mentioned in the newspapers recently. OH MY GOD. Really, if you would like to do something good, why don't you, I don’t know, try doing something to better society. Try proving that older women know how to have fun without looking like rejects from the local "Rocky Horror Picture Show" screening. I've read of women throwing down their mops and telling their husbands to fend for themselves while they jaunt off the Las Vegas for the weekend. Okay, didn't women's liberation happen over 30 years ago? When did "the man" and "the husband" become synonymous again? The poor husband probably didn't even realize that he was doing anything wrong.

I should point out that this all feeds in to my complete hatred of this "women vs. men" thing. If I get one more stupid forward about how clueless husband are (HAHA) I am going to go berserk. THIS STOPPED BEING FUNNY A LONG TIME AGO. It's called communication people, give it a try.

I really don't know how to end this, so I will just post the poem in it's entirety and call it a day.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pensionon brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,
And learn to spit.You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know meare not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple!
Jenny Joseph

*Hi T! I can't believe you commented!

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