Day 16

I picked up my new retainer this morning! I wore it during my horrible drive back in to work (over an hour, how do people do this every day?!) and practiced talking with it in. I still can't believe how cool my retainer is, it's blue with leopard print on it. I know, classy.

And today is the launch of Ep.3 of Vampire Zombie Werewolf! Whew! I'm a little giddy today with all the new things.

Day 15

I seem to have nothing nice to say today. I've had to work hard all day at not biting people's heads off and I seem to have no patience.

Oh wait, I just checked the calendar and I'm due for my "Aunt Flo" to visit.
Lame. Why, after how many damn years of this do I still constantly get surprised when this happens? I think it's because I hate it so much I just push it out of my head as much as possible.

I want nothing more than to hang out on the couch with The Boyfriend and watch bad movies, but he's too busy tonight getting the new episode of Vampire Zombie Werewolf ready for launch.

So, with that, I'm going to hang out on the couch myself in an attempt to keep him company, but really I'm just going to fall asleep.

Day 14

Today has been lazy. Our shoot went late last night, so today has been mostly about catching up on sleep and getting a few things done. I'm posting a photo from the shoot, I spent most of the night sitting on the couch being Script Supervisor, so that was my view mostly.
Now off to bed! Gotta do 3 miles tomorrow and then pick up my new retainer before heading to work.
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Day 13

Woohoo! 4.5 mile run finished and I did it in just under an hour! 59 minutes 20 seconds.

We just got back from haircuts and now The Boyfriend is off to a Writer's Group. I've got a few hours to kill, so I'm sending this quickly and then taking a quick nap before I need to get read for the shoot tonight. Luckily I'm just producing, no hair or makeup for me! Wow, "just producing", I don't get to do that much. Not that I'm complaining, I'd rather be acting.

Okay, off to zone out on the couch.

Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Day 12

This week has been lousy with allergy attacks. I can't believe how tough this week has been.

I went to an appointment with my doctor and basically there's nothing else to do. Well, there's things to do, but not things I'm willing to do like stop running outside. I don't belong to a gym for a reason, I hate them and can't afford one I think I would like. Plus I quite enjoy my time outside running in the morning, it's so peaceful. I won't give that up just to maybe have less allergy issues.

So what now? I may try going back to acupuncture. I haven't been in awhile and I did feel better when I was going. Or I'm going to try and stop taking allergy medicine, I've been on them for so long it's always a possibility they just don't work for me anymore.

Tomorrow is my bid run - 4.5 miles. I'm so excited to actually get to do it. Haircuts after that and then another shoot for Vampire Zombie Werewolf. Luckily Sunday has us with no plans, so I can recover from a late night shooting on Saturday.

Day 11

Veteran's Day -

I think of my Father today, a man who served in Vietnam, much to the dismay of his Mother. My Father was the last living son in his family, so he could have easily not gone to Vietnam with that excuse. But he did it, because serving was the right thing to do. I'm so proud of my Father, the camera he bought in Vietnam is one of my most prized possessions, it reminds me of my Father and doing the right thing.

______________________________________

So our interview got cancelled last night. Not a big deal, we will reschedule. The only bad thing was that The Boyfriend had made cookies, which means we still have cookies laying around the house. Cookie are not good, especially Vanilla Butter Cookies since they aren't heavy so you can eat a bunch of them without realizing.

I had the realization the other day that we've really gotten into the habit of not keeping cookies or sweats around the house. If we want cookies, we bake them. I never even have the thought of buying them at the store anymore.

It's amazing to me that something we did to save money and eat healthier so easily became ingrained in our lives without much hassle. I wish other things were this easy to become habits, like not eating candy or running every single day. Maybe I just need to put more time into these things. It's so easy to not buy cookies since I can make them at home if I want. It's harder not to buy candy since I can't make that at home.

I'm thinking it's time for another sugar detox.

Day 10

Today is going to be pretty exciting. "Indie Intertube" will be reviewing the new Vampire Zombie Werewolf episode (woot!) and we're getting interviewed for the podcast "In The Corner" with our friend Eddie.

It's funny, I have a lot of new friends that I've met on Twitter, so I tend to forget their actual names and call them by their twitter handles (as they do to me). It such a new thing to me and it makes me laugh every time. In college, when I graduated and got ready to move away, I realized that I didn't know the last names of several of my close friends. How weird is that, I hung out with these people all the time and I had no idea what their last names were.

We're closing in on Thanksgiving and I don't think I'm going to hit my weight loss goal. I'm not too upset about this, life has been busy and I'm trying to keep up on my running and mostly eating well, so I'm not going to get down on myself. I just know I'll need to redouble my efforts upon my return.

This weekend I will run 4.5 miles, which will technically be the furthest I have run (the longest before being 4.4 miles). I can't believe how good this running program has been. I definitely will recommend this to my friends who've progressed past the Couch to 5k program!

Day 9

Vampire Zombie Werewolf Episode 2 launch day! Wow, these launch days are stressful, just in terms of getting things on the site and getting the word out to watch the episode. Again today I was struck at how lucky I am to have made friends in the webseries community. We have so many people enjoying the show and helping us get the word out, I sometimes get a little teary at how awesome that is.

So check it out!

Day 8

I'm sitting here watching The Boyfriend put the finishing touches on the next episode of Vampire Zombie Werewolf, trying not to fall asleep. Man, time change every year screws me up. That plus the fact that I haven't run in 8 days makes me feel very, very sleepy. I did go for an hour long walk at lunch, so I have had some exercise today at least!

I feel bad snoozing though, since The Boyfriend is working so hard on getting everything done, so I'm writing this post to try and stay awake which I'm sure is making for fascinating writing.

Usually on such a cold night like this, The Boyfriend and I would make some sort of dessert, but we're trying to eat healthier, so that's not happening right now, which means I have to find other ways of entertaining myself at night. Tonight that meant cleaning the bathroom and whitening my teeth. Exciting!

I'm also trying to get everything ready for our shoot this weekend. Man, I'm looking forward to traveling home to Washington state at Thanksgiving. Not that I want to deal with the cold weather, but it will be nice to be forced to relax and not have a bunch of plans. I want to take a nap every day, that sounds heavenly.

Day 7

Wow, am I tired. I'm sitting on the couch, writing on my laptop while The Boyfriend works on getting the new episode of Vampire Zombie Werewolf ready to be launched on Tuesday.

Today we shot a Thanksgiving short. I can't say anything else, other then I worked with raw liver all day and it was SO GROSS! I still smell it every once in awhile and I've showered and changed clothes.

I forget how hard shoot days can be, even a smooth sailing one like today. Also, stupid Daylight Saving Time happened last night and that always throws me for a loop for about a week.

Tomorrow I'm starting my training last 10k training week over again, so I'll be running 3 miles. Here's to getting back into the swing of running! Hopefully I can get out of bed to do it!

Day 6

Oh wow, today was pretty wonderful. Amongst getting things ready for a Vampire Zombie Werewolf shoot we have tomorrow, The Boyfriend and I managed a quick get-away to the Huntington Gardens. I purchased a membership through Groupon a few months back and we had to go and use it or we were out the money we'd already spent.

I've never been a member of a museum or anything like this before, I feel like such a grownup. Also, I managed to purchase a pretty fantastic hat from the gift shop (side note, I REALLY love gift shops, I'm such a sucker) and we purchased 2 fantastic calendars for 2011.

I'm just going to upload my blackberry photos and let them show you how gorgeous today was. We finally got to see the new Chinese Garden, which was gorgeous.

Sometimes, it's pretty fantastic to live in LA and have things like this close by. And now we can go whenever we want! Hooray!

Day 5

I have the opening song from "The Nutcracker" stuck in my head. Very random..

Makes me think of ballet classes, which I have not taken in a couple of decades. I miss them. Someday, I will have to take them again. Also, Tai Kwon Do. I want to break boards with my feet. That sounds like fun.

Today has been a ball of stress, trying to get ready for a shoot this Sunday. Trying to secure a location. Trying not to lose my temper when someone doesn't help out as much as I'd like. But I think it's all come together. We seem to always prevail.

I went to lunch with my friend Vicki, she's always so good at letting me vent about filming stresses. Some days, I realize just how lucky I am in the friend department and I get a little teary. I know some really amazing people.

Day 4

Okay, the heat has GOT to stop. I wanted to get up and run this morning, but it was already over 70 degrees and it wasn't even 6 am yet! ARGH!

Not running makes me feel to sleepy, the heat makes me sleepy and angry. It's really sad when I look forward to being at work since it's so heavily air conditioned here. Man, I just can't get these last few weeks of my 10k training to go. I have done the same week twice and I'll need to do it again since I've only run once this week. Man, just when I get a routine going, something comes up and it all goes to hell.

The next few months are going to be busy, I've got to figure out how to balance this.

Day 3

It's Wednesday! And freaking HOT in LA. If one more friend on Facebook tells me to appreciate the weather since it's cold where they are I might explode! Cause guess what? You don't have to live where it's cold! Just like I don't have to live where it's hot! Life is funny that way! Sorry, the heat makes me angry.

I spent this morning at the Orthodontist, getting a consultation. It's very weird being back there as an adult, knowing I have to pay for this myself, knowing I will be responsible for wearing the retainer enough to make sure it works since it's my money going towards it.

I had braces in high school and like most adults, I didn't wear my retainer enough. So now I have a tooth that's moved and looks terrible. On top of that, I have started grinding my teeth again (I do it when I'm stressed). Since I've been waking up with my jaw and teeth hurting, I figured it was time to look up the Orthodontist my dentist recommended and get started. I also have a tooth that's dead in the front and I'll eventually need to put a veneer on that. Being an adult is hard. I hate having to deal with this stuff. I'm very lucky that I'm rarely sick or have serious dental problems.

So I was very pleased with my Orthondontist, Dr. Oh. He was so nice and sincere, willing to talk through my options, not giving me the hard-sell on anything. It's going to be weird to have a retainer to wear again, but anything to not wake up with jaw pain. And, you get to pick out colors and patterns now for your retainer, I will be the proud owner of a blue, zebra striped retainer on November 15th. Hell! yes!

The only downside to my Ortho is that they are in Agoura Hills, which is way far away for me. Driving there is fine, driving back to work was AWFUL. I don't know how people make commutes like that every day, I was a wreck when I got to work.  I'm so lucky that I only drive 3 miles to work so I am unfamiliar on how to deal with commutes. I think I would end up drinking heavily if I had to deal with that every day.

NaBloPoMo Day 2

And with 1 friends announcement, I am yet again plunged into a myriad of life decision doubts. I wish having kids was an easy decision for me. It seems like it is to almost everyone else in the world.

I get so weirded out by friends having these huge life changing things happen as it makes me worry that I'm making all the wrong choices, even though I know with every fiber of my being that my choices are right for me, I still wonder. Still worry that someday I'll look back with regret.

Today I hate being a grownup. Today I hate making decisions.

I blame not running. It always makes me feel better.

You know what, I'll post my new show. This was most definitely a good decision.

NaBloPoMo Day 1

It's November again, which mean the only month of the year I actually post anything. How fun!

I'm in the middle-end of training for a 10k. I have no actual 10k to run at the end of this training, I just needed something structured, something to make me push harder at running. I love it, it's been exactly what I needed.

But, we're getting closer to the end and now I'm really putting in some distance. Last weeks training was all screwed up, so I'm doing it over, which means today I ran 3 miles, which I did in just over 40 minutes. Not the greatest time, but I'm doing it and that's what matters.

Last week I launched a new webseries which I am fiercely proud of. It was a pretty crazy week, we opened to tons of great comments and congratulations. Launching LFTI was nothing like this. This has been fantastic. What a fabulous community has appeared in the webseries world. I'm so lucky at the fantastic people I've met, people who are also making independent web projects, people who understand the trials and tribulations that come with this territory.

I'm a lucky girl.

Day 3

I love listening to Robb's music. It amazes me that I can come home from work and he's written a song. I always wonder if I could do the same thing, given the time and instruments he has at his disposal, since I'm someone that tends to give up before they even start. Where do you even begin writing a song... There's too many options, too many ways to go about it.

I donated blood last week, I try to make sure I do it whenever UCLA comes to my office for a blood drive. The nurse who put the needle in did a fantastic job. For the first time in my life I didn't leave with a bruise that would take weeks to heal.

I love donating blood. I know that sounds weird, but since I don't have "time" to donate to a worthy cause, so I feel better when I can do something simple like give blood. I'm not afraid of needles, I'm healthy, I feel like it's a no brainer. Apparently I'm a good bleeder too, since I filled the bag in under 5 minutes (the average is 6-10). I need to do that more, donate blood or platelets. I have donated my hair before - again, such a simple thing. I'm cutting my hair off anyway, I might as well donate it to a worthy cause.

Okay, off to pretend to help Robb write lyrics for a new song. I say pretend since I just throw out a few suggestions while he really does all the work.

Let me leave you with this - Robb played it for me, I love how old school it sounds.

Day 2

I have spent all of today fighting off a migraine. I don't think I need to point out that this sucks.

We had a production meeting tonight - mostly going over website design. I can't wait for the site to launch, it's looking fantastic. Man, I don't ever want to be a web designer though, I just can't tell you how bad I would suck at it.

Not much to write tonight, I need to stop looking at the computer so my eyes will stop hurting.

Day 1

Some days, I feel like my entire existence is an in-progress painting that still doesn't know what type of paint to use.

23 Seconds of Awesomeness

This video makes me super happy so I'm posting it here.

Now - Day 1

Just for fun, I'm going to try and write every day in June. The theme for this month is "Now" which is perfect for me as I like to write off of the top of my head and call it good.

It's the only way I can get myself to post, you see. I get terrible posting fright if I don't just write it and post it. If I save a draft, I tend to go back over and over it, finessing and fretting over what I'm trying to say and I end up never posting. My way around that is to just write, post and call it good. Which is also why I don't go back and re-read my stuff very often, I think I would be horrified.

So, today is a day of hating my clothes and hating my hair, which usually means I didn't run this morning. I can't tell you how many times I've told people things like "I've never regretted getting up to run and almost always regret it when I don't". I mean this with every single ounce of my being and yet, here we are, me feeling fat and mentally sluggish all day because I had a hard time falling asleep last night so I skipped my morning run.

But, on the plus side, I've dowloaded new running music (Lady Gaga, Fame Monster) which I love and makes running so much more enjoyable. Plus, I finally found some running clothes I like - I've given up running shorts for knee length running tights and I'm never looking back. No chaffing, no riding up, just perfection. Although, I do not understand why it's impossible to find women's running clothes with actual pockets in them.

I'm also "training" for a 10k. I found this training program online and even though I don't have a specific race in mind, I'm enjoying having a goal again.

Green-ening

I have pretty much recycled all of my life. I'm not saying this to brag, I just have, even when it was "unpopular" and people teased me about it.

I don't know why, actually. It's just something that's always resonated with me, that we need to keep our earth clean. I don't litter. I try not to be wasteful.

And as I've gotten older and being green has become more fashionable, I've thoroughly embraced it. I have cloth bags in my trunk that I use whenever shopping. I recycle even more, as much as I can. I try not to purchase things with tons of packaging, etc.

As of today, I will consume one less thing that comes in a plastic bottle.

It all started a week ago when I was reading something online about how the use of plastic rose greatly when everyone started using body wash. It got me to thinking about how, growing up, we always used Zest Bar Soap. And I switched to body wash in college or something when my skin suddenly got very dry.

But here's the thing, my skin is not that dry anymore. And bar soap is not what it used to be. So I realized, this would be a really easy switch for me, I would save money and help the environment.

So today, Thursday May 20th is the last day I will use body wash. I purchased some amazing smelling soap from Trader Joes on Monday (I'm not kidding, it's oatmeal and honey and it smells like you should be able to eat it) and I'm really looking forward to my shower tomorrow morning. My short shower, because I'm also into saving water! :)

Silence

I seem to have nothing nice to say, so I'm not saying anything.

Except I will say this, it's apparently that time of year where everyone decides they need to stick their nose into the fact that Robb and I aren't married. I'm finding it harder and harder to find polite ways to brush this off.

So, if you ask me about this anytime soon, I'm just going to apologize in advance because not only will I bite your head off, I will point out things about you I find to be lacking. I'm discovering turning the conversation around on people and asking pointed questions about their personal lives seems to be the best way to end the conversation.

That or walking away.

I'm really working on the walking away part. I have to fight the urge to explain myself to people, since everyone seems to think I'm some poor maiden waiting for the horrible person I'm dating to ask me to marry him.

I find this extraordinarily insulting. I know (most) people have the best of intentions, but I don't understand why my personal relationship is any of their business. I guess because I always feel the need to explain that marriage is not a goal of mine, which opens things up for more discussion.

This is just a big cycle of annoyingness.

I'm going back to my silence.

VZW

The main shoot for the new webshow is done. I can sum it up best by saying, I was awake for 25 1/2 hours on the last day. I hope I never have to experience that again, but really, I learned a ton I would have never learned otherwise.

Also, I am so indebted to the people who worked tirelessly beside me.

Now I just need to catch up on some sleep and get back into my exercise routine. I miss running.

Lunchtime Fun

I had the best lunch today, meeting up with Robb, Kathy and her baby Amelia was a great plan. It actually felt like we had tons of time to talk, no rushing around, plenty of things to chat about.

Amelia is so adorable and fun, I think the best part was watching the restaurant owner watch us play with Amelia. They also enjoyed how fun she was and how much we were enjoying getting to play with her. I love a lunch that leaves me with such good vibes. I need to do more of those.


Lunch was especially nice since I spent a good portion of the morning thinking about everything I've done wrong recently. I seem to be quite good at beating myself up over things and it was so wonderful to be forced out of my head and into the present, it really takes the air out of any bad moods I was entertaining.

I'm working hard at balancing work/life stuff and today was a nice mix of that. I relish these moments with friends and strive to have more of them.

No Day Like Today

You know how some people say that what you eat affects your moods more than you know?

Well today I completely agree with them.

I have alternated between feeling so stressed I want to scream and so disappointed/angry I want to cry. I somewhat blame the candy I ate yesterday for feeling so off-kilter.

I really hate it when I'm disappointed in someone. There's nothing I can do to fix it, nothing I can say to make things better. And the frusteration of it all is not helping the stress.

See, I'm in the midst of bringing a new webshow to life. And to say I'm stressed would be an understatement.

I know it will all come together. I know it will. I just have to make it through the not fun parts to see it happen.

In the meantime, I'm reminding myself to take good care of me. To get lots of exercise, lots of sleep and as much face time with The Boyfriend as I can, all things that always make life better.

Lists updated again

It's been a long week, so to relax, I'm adding more to my list.

1. Run a 5k
2. Get a new webshow online
3. Run a 10k
4. Learn how to knit for real not just the very basic stuff I know
5. Live in another country for at least 3 months
6. Get lots of stamps on my passport
7. Take singing lessons again
8. Own a house
9. Run a Half Marathon
10. Run the LA Marathon
11. Learn how to use Photoshop
12. Roadtrip to the East Coast
13. Be my own boss (aka not have a "day job")
14. Learn to scuba dive
15. Go on one of those huge ziplines
16. Own a wardrobe I love, no matter what the size
17. Know 5 recipes I can cook off the top of my head.
18. Plant a garden
19. Get a team together for a "Mud Run".
20. Leave a $100 tip
21. Write a song (you would think this one wouldn't be hard,
considering who my significant other is, but you would be wrong)
22. Have 3 karaoke songs that I know by heart and I'm not afraid to
perform at any time
23. Host a dinner party
24. Brew my own beer
25. Stay a night on the Queen Mary
26. Truly surprise Robb with a present (I'm so bad at this, I get
too excited and give up my game before I can surprise him)
27. Take part in a political protest
28. Take an outdoor survival class
29. Re-upholster a chair.
30. See the Northern Lights

Ralph

As someone who is prone to overthinking, I find this quote very useful, so I thought I would share. Also, I need it here as a reminder to myself:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tea, Please

Hugh Jackman + Lipton = WIN!

Life List - update 1

So, as of Super Bowl Sunday, I can cross #1 off of this list. And something this summer, I will be able to cross off #2.

I'm adding a few more as well, some I'm borrowing from other Life Lists I've read. It's so fun to see what other people have on their lists, especially right now as I feel like I haven't done anything and I'm frusterated that I don't have the money to travel like I want, when I read other people's Life Lists and I see that I've done quite a bit of what they want to do, I remember that my life isn't as boring as I think it is.

And I remember to be greatful for the experiences I've had.


1. Run a 5k
2. Get a new webshow online
3. Run a 10k
4. Learn how to knit for real not just the very basic stuff I know
5. Live in another country for at least 3 months
6. Travel to Wales, UK, Germany, Brussels, Italy, Greece and a whole
crapload of other places
7. Take singing lessons again
8. Own a house
9. Run a Half Marathon
10. Run the LA Marathon
11. Learn how to use Photoshop
12. Roadtrip to the East Coast
13. Be my own boss (aka not have a "day job")
14. Learn to scuba dive
15. Go on one of those huge ziplines
16. Own a wardrobe I love, no matter what the size
17. Know 5 recipes I can cook off the top of my head.
18. Plant a garden
19. Get a team together for a "Mud Run".
20. Leave a $100 tip
21. Write a song (you would think this one wouldn't be hard,
considering who my significant other is, but you would be wrong)
22. Have 3 karaoke songs that I know by heart and I'm not afraid to
perform at any time

Cross 1 Off The List

Here is a photo of me crossing the finish line for my first 5k. My time was decent (38 minutes) especially since I'd had a horrible cold leading up to this run.
It was a great first race experience as Robb and I were running with friends who had participated in the same race for several years. I can't wait to do it again next year, especially now that I know you get 2 free beers if you finish the race! Yay Super Bowl Sunday!
The best part is that I now have a bar set and a time to beat for my next 5k. I have my eye on one in April, but things are crazy busy around here through May, so we'll see how it goes...
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Valentine Shmalentine

I think I write about this every single year, but I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day.

It's not that I am in a relationship with some horribly unromantic person, it's not that I'm bitter or that the jewelry store commercials make me want to stab someone. It's that I think it's sad we as a society have to have 1 day FORCED on us to make us show the people we love how much we love them.

I know I'm lucky in that Robb is quite good at doing very sweet things for me throughout the year and I make sure I do the same. Because we believe that that's what makes a good relationship, couples that don't hold back on expressing how they feel until Hallmark tells them when it's right to do so. Nothing makes me happier than when I come home from work to discover Robb has made dinner, has music playing and lit candles on the table. Small gesture, I know and yet it touches me more than any present. Because he did it for me. And I usually have no idea it's coming, just a surprise for when I walk through the door.

And yes, we still celebrate Valentine's day in our own way. For the past several years we've made each other cards and had a nice dinner at home (don't even get me started on going out to dinner on this day). This year we're in the midst of trying to get a new online show up and running plus we're housesitting, so we might go out to breakfast or something. Or not do anything at all. I don't care.

Although honestly, my idea of the perfect Valentine's Day right now just means a day in which I get to take a very long nap.

But, every year, I wonder if maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm missing some sort of "girly gene" that makes it so I crave diamonds and chocolates. And then I realize, the stupid commercials sort of work and I get angry all over again. Because I don't crave diamonds. I don't want chocolate (I'm perpetually trying to lose weight). I don't need a card to know you love me.

Resolutions (for a lifetime)

I try not to make New Year's resolutions since I never stick to them and I find them silly.
But, I've been reading a lot of people's "Life Lists" and such and I thought it would be fun if I started one here. This will be a work in progress.

In no particular order:

1. Run a 5k
2. Get a new webshow online
3. Run a 10k
4. Learn how to knit for real not just the very basic stuff I know
5. Live in another country for at least 3 months
6. Travel to Wales, UK, Germany, Brussels, Italy, Greece and a whole
crapload of other places
7. Take singing lessons again
8. Own a house
9. Run a Half Marathon
10. Run the LA Marathon
11. Learn how to use Photoshop
12. Roadtrip to the East Coast
13. Be my own boss (aka not have a "day job")
14. Learn to scuba dive
15. Go on one of those huge ziplines

That's all I can think of off the top of my head right now. I will update this more tomorrow.