Thursday, May 26, 2005

A Hodgepodge

So, Carrie is the new American Idol. I am happy for her. No really, I am. Bo now does not have to record the completely awful songs they had "written" for the show, and he can go on and do the completely kick-ass album we all now he is going to do. I do have to say that it was the least painful 2 hour finale' I have watched. The part that was basically making fun of the whole Corey Clark thing was entertaining, and the whole "Idols performing with their Idols" was good. Well, I should say, the part where Carrie performed with Rascal Flats and Bo performing with Lynard Skynard was really awesome. Especially seeing someone like Bo, who could probably die tomorrow a happy man now, not only perform, but lead his idols on the greatest song ever written. I have never in my life watched someone so happy to be onstage performing. Lynard Skynard are just some cool, cool guys.

Did anyone see David Hasselhoff on the show? Now there is a man who can laugh at himself. He seriously made that kids night. I actually got a little choked up.

I just want to add one more thing to my argument from yesterday as to why Mark Kriski is an idiot. He compared Bo Bice to Meatloaf, in a way that was completely derogatory to both of them. Let's get one more thing straight Mark, Meatloaf kicks ass. That man has sold lots of albums, is a decent actor, has had more women drooling over him than you ever will and was in the biggest cult classic of a movie. Maybe you've heard of it, it's a little thing called "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and every night in dark theaters across the country people dress up and try to pretend they are half as cool as Meatloaf.
Okay, I'm done with that now.

On to other things that annoy me.

Apparently someone felt the need to explain the poem "When I Am Old I Will Wear Purple" to me that I wrote about awhile ago. Um, I already KNOW what the POEM is about, that wasn't what my post was complaining about and please make sure that you actually READ my post before commenting. Thanks.

Tom Cruise is really, really scaring me. I wish he would go back to the old Tom Cruise who was still a Scientologist, but wasn't allowed to talk about it. By the way Tom, that was really nice of you, the way you are trying to piss off the majority of your fans. Did you really think people were going to think that you know more about Post Partum Depression than, I don't know, a DOCTOR, or a WOMAN? I agree that we as a society are a bit too reliant on pills, but c'mon. Sometimes they are a necessity. Seriously, the man has gone off the deep end. And not in a fun, "Let's watch what crazy thing he does next!" way, but in a, "God I hope he goes away soon" way.

I don't understand how a person who has children and an ex-wife can think that they would be completely comfortable with watching you make out with a woman young enough to be your daughter every day. If I have to look at one more picture of Tom Cruise trying to prove what a man he is by shoving his tongue down a woman's throat, I will just puke. And seriously, Katie Holmes?

I love reading all the rumors that he had this planned all along and it was just a matter of plugging in which hot young Hollywood starlet would play the part of his girlfriend. I seriously hope they get married, because it would inevitably be followed by a divorce, and then hopefully a tell-all book! But that would mean they have to stay together after both of their big summertime blockbusters come out, and I just don't think that's going to happen. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to go back on Oprah and talk about how hurt he is by their break-up and no one understood their love anyways. I am placing my predictions now people.

On a final note:
The Boyfriend and I attended our last night of call-backs last night. They are casting tonight, so hopefully I will have good news tomorrow. If not, I have a wonderful barb-b-que I am attending that will provide me with enough liquor to forget I even auditioned! I win either way!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Apparently Writing is Hard

So, I have been missing for awhile. Sorry about that. I have stuff going on at work (work being something I will never go into detail here) so let's just leave it as I will be busy for the next few weeks.

Let's speak of better things. The Boyfriend and I have auditioned for summer theater. We were called back for the same shows. One call back was on Monday, and another is tonight. I have to say, I really, really would like to do both shows. Both are comedies and it would be nice to be busy this summer doing theater in the park. If nothing else, I will have great tan lines!

Did you watch American Idol last night? I did. Although I have to admit I was bored. So bored I started reading a magazine in the middle of Carrie's second song. Why is it that the so called professional song writers that American Idol hire can't write a good song to save their lives? I mean come on, those songs were just stupid. I'm guessing it's the same person that wrote "I'm Sorry for 2004" for Ruben Studdard.

I still would like Bo to win. Carrie may technically be a better singer, but she is a wooden stick figure on stage and I think people would quickly realize it's not worth the money to watch her perform since she seems to have no personality or presence.

I was watching the KTLA morning show briefly today when Mark Kriski and Sam Rubin were talking about how Carrie should win because Bo was stuck in the 70's and you couldn't possibly figure out a way to promote him, whereas Carrie is obviously very country and very "now". Here is all the reasons they are wrong:
1. There is no way that Carrie could ever out-rock Bo on stage. He is a thousand times better performer, and actually has a personality when spoken to.
2. How can you say that they would never be able to do a music video with Bo? Have you not heard of this guy called Kid Rock? He is quite popular and has done several videos. In fact, he makes more money than you do.
3. The only reason the guys like Carrie so much is that she is a cute girl.
4. The only reason they hate Bo is because he rocks, he isn't a middle aged fat man and he can actually sing and plays several musical instruments. He is the embodiment of every guys teenage dream of being a rock star.
5. How could you possibly say "the 70's are SO OVER?" As The Boyfriend pointed out, that's like saying "Jazz is so over", or "classical music is so over", or "Blues are so over". Seriously, you just proved why you are a weather man, and not someone who makes decisions about music.
Apparently, according to Mark Kriski, we shouldn't listen to any music that wasn't created last week.

I am now bored with my list as I got so angry I forgot what else to say. I am actually not going to watch the finale' as I have call-backs tonight and I am much more interested in finding out what's happening on "LOST" than anything else.

On a final note:

Did you see the promo's for "Hit Me Baby One More Time?" I can not wait to see Vanilla Ice sing a Britney Spear's song.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

AI Baby

Hi. I am so happy right now. Not only are the 2 people that I wanted in the top 2 for American Idol, but I just finished a ginormous filing project that I have been putting off for 2 weeks. My boss was so happy for me she actually did a celebratory dance FOR ME, since I was all done!

Okay, back to American Idol. I think it's pretty obvious that Bo is going to win. I mean, c'mon, Clive himself said he thought he and Bo would be working on an album together soon!

I don't have much else to say about this. Anyone who has read this knows that I am a big Bo fan, so I don't really need to write any more on this, except that I think it will be very interesting to see the different interpretations that Bo and Carrie will have on the same song.

My biggest gripe is that the 2 hour gorge-fest of a results show for American Idol is to take place as the same time as LOST. I will not miss LOST for anything, so I will be taping American Idol. I wonder who will win the ratings war?
This is a good thing because then I can watch them perform on Tuesday as usual, then find out the results on Wednesday without having to sit through the entire show, but instead, sitting through the fabulousness that is LOST! Maybe I won't even bother taping it! Never mind, I don't have anything to gripe about, because now I won't have to sit through all of the painful numbers they make the Top 10 perform.

Sweet.

Monday, May 16, 2005

When I Am Old I Will Wear Whatever the Hell I Want

This was supposed to be posted on Friday, but I couldn't quite get it right. So I am posting it today after I worked on it a little. And by working on it I mean I just got back from a lunch screening of "Star Wars Episode 3" and I feel like I should throw something up for people to read today!!!!
Enjoy.

So, I'm watching/vaguely listening to the news this morning as I was getting ready for work and two really caught my attention.

First of all, I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that the government really believes that women shouldn't be allowed on the front lines because the men, they may get distracted. That's just insulting to everyone. It implies that women are incapable of handling themselves and men are too stupid to not be thinking about sex while being shot at. And, they think the men will be too pre-occupied with protecting the women. Oh seriously, I wish the President would just come out and say that he wishes all women were back in the kitchen where God wanted them and be done with it. Geesh. Like we haven't all seen the part in war movies where some guy/guys risk life and limb just to save some other guy they bonded with in a fox hole. Maybe they should just make sure the front lines are all manned with disgruntled divorcee's and baby-daddies who are so over women, then the government wouldn't have to worry about it.

The second story that caught me attention was about the "Red Hat Society". Okay, first of all, the poem is called "When I Am An Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple". As much as I think it's a really sappy poem, I do believe that our society is WAY too youth oriented and we do not give enough respect to the people who have been around longer.

With that said, why do older women insist on making fools of themselves while trying to establish themselves as a force to be reckoned with? Why do you have to wear gloves with feathers on them? Or boas? Or purple satin dresses? Nowhere in the poem that they are using as their guidebook does it say "I will dress like a psychotic southerner who has gone colorblind" nor does it say "I will wear ugly purple satin ball gowns and awful red hats and place feathers all over my outfit and generally make a total fool of myself all while demanding that you take me seriously".

Really, if you want people to respect you, maybe this is not quite the way to go about it. I am all for an attempt to alter societies idea to hold up Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan as role models for youngsters, but I also would never want my daughter to think that she needs to dress crazy/tacky in order to get a little attention. Older women are smart, sexy, talented, wise and usually have less body image problems than young women. But, alas, in today's society they are written off as silly and out of date and THIS STUPID RED HAT THING DOESN'T HELP! What exactly do these societies do? I did a little research on this while trying to find the poem in it's entirety, and the official "Red Hat Society" web-page didn't offer much help except in explaining that they get together for tea, and then listed all the times they have been mentioned in the newspapers recently. OH MY GOD. Really, if you would like to do something good, why don't you, I don’t know, try doing something to better society. Try proving that older women know how to have fun without looking like rejects from the local "Rocky Horror Picture Show" screening. I've read of women throwing down their mops and telling their husbands to fend for themselves while they jaunt off the Las Vegas for the weekend. Okay, didn't women's liberation happen over 30 years ago? When did "the man" and "the husband" become synonymous again? The poor husband probably didn't even realize that he was doing anything wrong.

I should point out that this all feeds in to my complete hatred of this "women vs. men" thing. If I get one more stupid forward about how clueless husband are (HAHA) I am going to go berserk. THIS STOPPED BEING FUNNY A LONG TIME AGO. It's called communication people, give it a try.

I really don't know how to end this, so I will just post the poem in it's entirety and call it a day.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,
And I shall spend my pensionon brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals,and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,
And run my stick along the public railings,
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,
And learn to spit.You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,
Or only bread and pickle for a week,
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats
and things in boxes.But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,
And pay our rent and not swear in the street,
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know meare not too shocked and surprised,
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple!
Jenny Joseph

*Hi T! I can't believe you commented!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I Never Thought I Would Say This

But I actually feel a little bad for Anthony. I can't help it. He actually had a good night on Tuesday, way better than he has performed in the past. And then he gets cut. You know people only voted for Vonzell because she cried. Sorry honey, I ain't buying it. You had a crappy performance.

So to recap Tuesday:

Carrie Underwood:
I am totally convinced she has been replaced by a Stepford Wife robot. She just has no performance capability at all. Don't get me wrong, this girl can sing, she is just painful to watch. I am going to start collecting money so she can get a personality.

Bo Bice:
I don't care who you are, if you can't admit that this man is awesome you are just sad. Who else could pull off the 70's pimp outfit while singing "Money, Money, Money?" People, he performed in FIip Flops! And he didn't fall down! And he rocks! Oh man, I would so throw my panties in the stage if I went to one of his concerts. He puts everyone else in this contest to shame. I will just list everything I like about his performances to save time:
1. He almost always picks good songs. I don't know what the heck that country song was he sang, but I liked it.
2. He always gives it up for the band as soon as he is done singing. As we have seen by Carrie's horrible arrangement of "If You Don't Know Me By Now" the band should always be your friend.
3. He is always looks like he is giving it his all. He doesn't care what you think about him, he is performing.
4. His performance don't look over-rehearsed (Vonzell, I am looking at you) and yet he is the most comfortable person on stage.
5. He always takes the judges comments in stride, whether they are good or bad. No arguing, no trying to call Simon out. He just thanks them. People need to take note of this.

Vonzell:
I also think she has an amazing voice. I would love to be able to sing as well as she does. But at the same time, I find her performances boring and over-rehearsed. The thing I loved about Fantasia is that you totally felt that she was putting her heart and soul into every performance. Fantasia has this amazing attitude and presence that neither woman left in the Top 3 possesses. I actually would go so far as to say that all of the women in the past who have made it to the top 3 have had way more personality and stage presence than Vonzell and Carrie combined.
Kimberly Locke I so wanted to be in the Top 2!!!!

Anthony:
I am really sad to say this, but I thought he had one of the best nights for him. I didn't have to leave the room while he sang! "If You Don't Know Me By Now" is seriously one of my all time favorite songs, and the fact that his version just kicked Carrie's verions' ass is just weird. But his arrangement and his performance were good. And I hate the country song he performed so much. I feel like Vonzell should have been the one to go based solely on Tuesday nights performances. But we all know that no one votes based on performance alone.

I am VERY interested to see who makes it to the Top 2. If it's Carrie and Vonzell, than I am not going to bother even recording the finale'! Cause I will be watching LOST baby.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Usually Torture Costs More Than This (So I've Been Told)

So The Boyfriend and I went to see "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" on Friday. First, let me say, I love that movie. Well done. I was a huge fan of the books, and now I want to find them and read them all over again. God, the British just make good movies.

This morning there was something on the news about how movies just aren't making the money that they used to. Wow, so not a surprise to anyone who has visited a movie theater lately. The whole problem lies in the fact that going to the movies just isn't fun anymore. And it's really freaking expensive. I am really spoiled in the fact that my job screens movies for us and I am eternally grateful for that. I just can't handle movie theater patrons anymore.

Most movie-goers just have no manners anymore. I don't know how people can take it. I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU TALK THROUGH THIS MOVIE. I know that's really hard to understand, but WAIT UNTIL THE MOVIE IS OVER AND TALK ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS. This concept has been lost over the years. I think maybe they should start teaching theater etiquette in schools or something.

I was pleasantly surprised at the fact that everyone I could see actually turned off their cell phones during the previews which was a good thing since they had 20 MINUTES OF PREVIEWS TO SIT THROUGH. Really, this is just getting ridiculous. When I went to see "Unbreakable" in the theater, I actually really forgot what movie I was there to see.

I like previews, especially if they are good and make me really excited for a movie to come out, but I don't really need to see every preview for every movie that is coming out within the next 2 years. Really, I will find out about them one way or another. For right now, I would just like to see the movie I paid to see.

Just as a side note, there were a few parents there with their younger aged children at the movies. They were some of the best behaved people in the theater. Go figure.

There are movies that I think just need to be seen on the big screen. Other than that, I just don't need the aggravation of dealing with other people. Seriously, why do people suck so much? Especially the guy that thought bringing his 5 year old to "Return of the King". He needs to have bamboo shoved under his fingernails. If your kid can't sit still and shut up for a 3 plus hour very violent movie, then he is not old enough to be there.

On a final note:

The Boyfriend and I have finally decided to make the ultimate commitment!

Ha, just kidding. We got DSL! Finally! I am so getting major bonus points for this.
If you have SBC phone service, you can get DSL for $19.95 a month. Check it out.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Could You Please Repeat That?

I am running on 4 hours of sleep. Not by choice. And a morning visit to the dentist's office. So yes, I am really grumpy. I was so desperate for coffee that I drank it through a straw because the Novocaine hadn't worn off yet.

So much has happened this week in the world that I wanted to post about, but I have either been swamped at work, or too tired to post. The neighbors are at it again, and I am really just at the end of my rope. We can't afford to move, and the police take anywhere from 2-4 hours to respond and I am so suing someone if I get an ulcer from this. (As a side note, I can't be angry at the police. It's really not their fault that they are so understaffed. Every time I have called to complain about these people, which is at least once a week, the police have been so nice on the phone and I really can't get that mad when they call back to apologize because the officer they were supposed to send ended up arresting someone at a previous call and couldn't make it and did they need to send someone else out? I mean, come on, I really can't get mad at that. Even if I had just fallen back asleep 5 minutes prior to that call; they were actually apologizing for not getting out there faster. When is the last time that someone in the service industry actually apologized for something?)

The worst part about this morning, besides the tiredness and the drilling at the dentist office, is that when I got to work, some jerk who works in our parking structure was all mad at me for parking in the visitor's section. I have news for you buddy, almost everyone who works here that doesn't have an "extra-special" reserved spot parks in the visitor's parking section when necessary. And since I have heard nothing but awful things about your valets backing people's cars into walls and just being plain rude (plus you say you are completely not responsible for our cars) you will never get me to valet park my car. And since I am running on no sleep and Novocaine, I would really like to see you try and make me, because I will take your head off and feel absolutely okay about doing that.

On a much happier note, The Boyfriend and I are having a date tonight. We are going to see "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" and dinner. Then brunch tomorrow morning with friends, then a Kentucky Derby party, and then another "date" dinner on Sunday.

Isn't that just so sickingly sweet?

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Sally Sells Sea Shells Down by the Sea Shore

I meant to write this yesterday, but I had some sort of stomach virus. A virus that was only appeased by greasy food. Leave it to me to get something that insists I eat at McDonalds, when I have been trying to eat better and lose weight. Oh well.

Dear Rachel and Keith:

Thanks so much for inviting us to your wedding. It was beautiful, amazing, and breathtaking. I feel so honored that we were there to witness your marriage. I think that people who get married and plan the whole thing themselves are so courageous. Oh who am I kidding, I think people who get married are courageous. I think that's the biggest reason I am so impressed with Saturday. Seriously, what a great party! Your personalities were so well represented, and everyone I talked to had some awesome story about how they met you. The love in that room for you two was overwhelming. Everyone there was so joyous. You were so happy. Seriously, I am tearing up while thinking of it.

On a tangent, thanks for sitting us with Amy and Jamie. I have never been to a wedding where I have met new friends. They even told The Boyfriend that he looks like Ethan Hawke, which has sealed them in my heart forever, because they were kind of embarrassed to ask him if anyone had every told him that.

By the way, hurry up and come home from your honeymoon. The people in my office are really wondering where you went. I never though people would find that so weird, but I think it's so fitting. Wherever you are, I know you are having a blast and taking lots of pictures.

The thing that will stick with me the most is the attention to detail that you two paid, not just to your wedding ceremony, but to everyone who was there. I have decided that I will strive to take more pictures. I will strive to pay more attention to the people in my life. And The Boyfriend and I will never forget that Keith remembered to return The Boyfriend's movies to him, AT YOUR RECEPTION. Seriously, how thoughtful is that? I'm sure I said something that totally didn't make sense because I had had too much Chardonnay. Really, the servers at that place were so nice, I had a hard time saying no. And for a person that doesn't drink very often, 5 (or so) glasses of wine is a little much. The Boyfriend assure me that I wasn't embarrassingly drunk until we got in the car to go home. Luckily I wasn't driving, but I do remember filling out a memory card that I hope you find funny, but if you don't, feel free to throw it away.

This has gotten much more sappy than I planned, but I was so touched by your wedding. May the love and joy from that day follow you always.

*For a much funnier version of the event, you should check this out.

Friday, April 29, 2005

I'm Going to Jump Off A Bridge

Would you like to join me?

Okay, sorry for the lame joke, you can blame him.

I don't have much to say today. I am extremely happy that it's Friday. Not that it's been a tough week, but I have lots of fun stuff planned for this weekend. Starting with a yard sale tomorrow morning, a wedding Saturday night and absolutely nothing planned for Sunday except sleeping in and maybe a hike.

I guess that's all.

Have a great weekend.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

"I'm All Out of Love"

for Carrie Underwood. Honey, I was cheering for you. I still think you have a great voice, but your song choices are just sad. When Anthony Federov picks a better song than you, it's really time to cowboy up.

American Idol was pretty boring last night. I was more interested in dyeing my hair than really sitting down and watching. Except when Bo performed, because that dude is amazing.

Everyone else is just more of the same so I won't dwell on AI today.

Except that I don't have much else to say.

I am going to a wedding this weekend. Bought a new outfit and everything. The Boyfriend did too. It's nice to get all dressed up and pretend to me grown-up every once in awhile.

The wedding we are going to is some friends that we don't get to see all that much. Have you ever met someone that you just clicked with and then because of life stuff you just don't get to see them all that much? That is how I feel about Rachel. We did a play together like 3 years ago and I really miss seeing her all the time. She makes me laugh. So does Keith, her fiance'. They are a great couple and I can not wait to attend their wedding.

By the way, it's really weird being of the same age as the people whose weddings I attend.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Randomness

I was just going to write this whole thing about the bruise on my face, but then I realized that it was boring and stupid.
Here is a re-cap anyway. I have a small bruise on my right cheek, apparently from the dentist. I always knew that I bruised easily, but this is just funny. IT'S FROM THE DENTIST. I don't remember anything hurting, but then again, my mouth was numb.

So I have to go back 3 more times to finish the work needed on my teeth and I am a little worried. I mean, am I going to walk away from this with 4 bruises on my face? I am going to have a hard time getting people to believe they are from the dentist, except that it's really a strange bruise and The Boyfriend would have had to just shove his thumb into my cheek. And that would be just mean.

Did you watch "Medium" last night? I really enjoy that show. The only bad thing is that it starts at 10, so I am usually asleep before the ending. This is why I love buying shows on DVD.

Have you bought the "Arrested Development" season 1 DVD's? That is my favorite show and it is even more amazing on DVD. I can't wait for season 2 to come out.

On a final note: The horrible neighbors with the band had a bar-b-que last weekend. The band made a full appearance and everything. Here is the worst part about that. The singer they have chosen has the highest, nasaliest, most grating voice while speaking, so imagine what he sounds like singing. It ain't pretty. Also, they now seem to think they are a blues band, so they have decided to learn how to play harmonica. They suck.
And if spending hours listening to 2 stoned out spaz's bang on conga's and sing along to Beatles' songs isn't a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon, I don't know what is.
The Beatles should come over and kick them in the nuts for ruining their music.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Ouch

I went to the dentist this morning, my first of four visits. How did I get so lucky? Well my last dentist was a total jerk, and since he never took x-rays (or really did anything) I have some lovely decay/pre-cavities that need to be taken care of.

My first visit was this morning and all went well and very quickly. I haven't had my mouth numbed in awhile. I forgot how weird it feels. Plus, when my boss walked in this morning, she was giggling at me and knew right away that I was still numb. I can tell that I am going to be in a lot of pain when the numbness has all worn off and I am not looking forward to it. Oh well.

So back to my last dentist. He was NOT a nice guy. I went in for 2 cleanings, and each time he told me that I needed to get my teeth bleached. Now, I have fairly white teeth. Not "Hollywood White," but not bad. The problem lies in one of my front teeth. I had a root canal on it when I was in the 5th grade, and it is slightly darker than the rest of my teeth. The dentist was convinced that I needed to let him break open the seal on my tooth and re-bleach it from the inside. To the tune of $500-$600. Of course not covered by insurance.

I said no. The first time he was mildly annoyed, but backed off after I explained that it was just something I could not afford right now.

6 months pass and I go in for my next cleaning. The pressure to let him bleach my tooth starts up again, and again I say no. Really, there is nothing wrong with my tooth and I sure as hell ain't letting this jerk push me around.

Then, he tells me "You know, you need to get that fixed before it gets too dark and it's unfixable. Besides, people have to look at that you know."

WHAT AN ASS. Really, I didn't realized that my slightly darker tooth was insulting you. Or the people who see me every day. Thanks for letting me know how ugly I am to look at.

Needless to say I have never been so mad at a dentist before. My tooth is no where near being so dark it is unfixable. Then, they never sent me my 6 month check up notice. So I looked up my old dentist, who is just now covered by my insurance and I am now a happy customer of Smile Dental in Culver City. Seriously, he is the nicest dentist I have ever met. He greets everyone (as much as he can) when they walk through the door, his name is Dr. Rad and he has this really cool Russian/Slovanian (I think) accent.

This morning he greeted me by name. Seriously, how cool is that.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

It's 70's Night and I Feel Alright

I think they do a "70's Dance Music" night every year, but this year it seemed like they were just trying to let Bo and Constantine have a fun night.
I don't care who you are rooting for, Bo was clearly the winner of the night.
So, in order of appearance (that I remember):
Constantine: Did a great job, picked a song I thought really suited him and wasn't totally overdone. Although, he is still way too cheeseball in his performance and I thought the eyeliner was a bit much for 70's night. Still, great singing last night.
Carrie: Oh honey, whoever is dressing you MUST be giggling hysterically whenever you go onstage. That outfit and hair was just horrible. It was 70's night, I can't believe no one wore some Gold Lame'. I love how weird the lyrics are for that song, but Carrie obviously didn't get it, nor did she want to. Also, her performance was boring. I am getting really tired of her picking the wrong song for her. She has an amazing voice and yet, why didn't she get nailed for doing the same thin they accuse Nikko of doing?(Picking songs with only great endings. Not to say that her song was boring, it's just that she was a boring performer until the last note). Also, her fake ultra-southerness is getting out of hand. I believe that you are from a small southern town. But I think Carrie and Vonzell are in competition for southerness, which would be interesting if I gave a crap about Vonzell.
Anthony: Oh man, I really hope he is gone tonight. His performance is just boring. Everything is so uplifting, all the time to this guy. Great, but as a performer you should probably be able to do more than one type of music. I would love to see him just stand there and sing a ballad, except that I would have to watch him just stand there and sing a ballad. Plus, he looks like Nick Carter about 100 pounds ago and it just creeps me out.
Anwar: Gosh, I really want to like this guy. He has a great voice, he seems really nice and he has a really pretty face. I enjoyed his performance last night. But overall, I think he is a so-so performer. I was a little disturbed that I almost saw nipple last night, because his shirt was open so low. Plus, it looked like he was picking his underwear out of his butt at the end of his segment. Scott: I have been rooting for him from the first audition, but he got so depressing to watch for awhile. Last night was the first time I have ever seen him look comfortable on stage and actually look like he was having a good time! I think that was his best performance yet. It was a great song choice for his voice (although I think he should have sang it in a higher key. This guy has a great tenor voice and needs to learn how to use it). I felt bad for him that the judges weren't nicer. I think someone must have talked to him about his attitude, because he actually handled Simon's comments well. But the story at the end about how he chose the song was so painful The Boyfriend changed to another channel.
Vonzell: I don't know why I hate her so much, but I do. She is so over choreographed, over-rehearsed and boring. She seems so fake to me and she just makes me so angry! I honestly feel like she only picks songs she has performed before. I don't think she does anything new, different, or actually difficult. Every song she has picked has been done a thousand times before and she never talks about songs being new to her. She has a decent voice, anything else about her is annoying.
Bo: I have never tried to hide the fact that Bo is my favorite. Last night should have proved to you why I think he is so awesome. I completely agree with Simon on the fact that Bo has had some bad weeks and that this was a come-back for him. Plus, I like the fact that everything he does on stage seems very organic and natural. He just lets the performance take him where it will. No overdone winks to the camera or over-rehearsed dance moves, the dude just performs. If he isn't in the top 2, I really don't care who wins.

On a final note:
Um, DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A NEW POPE? Seriously, this needs to end. Not everyone in the world is Catholic and I think it's disgusting that this seems to get more attention and people actually think this is more important that when we elect a new President. Plus, I hate realizing how many conservative people there are in the world.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Hey A-Hole

An open letter to the Trash that lives next door.

Dear Pieces of Crap:
It was The Boyfriend and I that called the cops on you, you complete tool. They didn't just "make the rounds," they were called 3 times over the space of 4 hours to complain about your drum circle/party you were throwing. (Again, like you do every Friday or Saturday night.)

Let's start from the beginning. Where in the hell did you move here from? Do you really believe that as mid-30 somethings that you are still in college? No one thinks couches and Camaros on the lawn are cool. No one thinks you washing your car with heavy metal playing loudly on the stereo is cool (especially since you are really nothing to look at with your shirt off) nor do they want to share in your AWFUL taste in music. Your car sucks and you obviously have a small pecker.
We knew the group of you were bad news the first night you moved in. But then you quieted down, and we just mildly disliked you.

Then one of you got the brilliant idea to start a band. Seriously, NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY MUSICAL TALENT WHATSOEVER. And your singing sucks too. It's bad enough that you start band rehearsal at 10 pm, but add to the fact that you can't keep time on a drumset to save your life and it just means hours of anger for The Boyfriend and I. I don't know how you got the word out to every trashy-stuck-in-the-80's person in the neighborhood, but your house has become their meeting place. WHY? Why do we have to listen to you talk about how awesome your band is? Why do we have to listen to you talk about the brilliant ideas on how going to get your equipment moved around? (A flatbed truck, seriously? My personal favorite was the Sea-Doo trailer) No one could possibly hire you, YOU SUCK. Seriously, you suck. Don't believe what I hear your friends telling you. They have to be going home and laughing at you for believing that you could actually get a band up and running.
Here's the kicker. There is a real band that lives across the street. How do I know? I see them actually loading up their equipment into their van and heading out for gigs. I hear them practicing (in the middle of the day to be polite) and they actually have some great music. AND THEY CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEIR INSTRUMENTS. Granted, one of them had sex with his girlfriend in her car while it was parked on the street, but that was when they first moved in and it hasn't happened again, so I will chalk it up to them just being grungy and "cool."

Rest assured, we have already decided to start looking for a new place to live. After watching half the neighborhood walk by your place on Sunday and look horrified at the beer bottles and car mess that you had left on your front lawn/porch, I figured we had probably had enough. I plan on finding out who owns that house and giving them a nice informative phone call. I will become best friends with police dispatch as I call in complaints as much as possible. And then after I move, well, The Boyfriend and I have lots of fun stuff planned. Cause my favorite saying is this: "Revenge is better than Christmas."

And believe me neighbor, Christmas is coming WAY early this year.

Sincerely,
Your hateful neighbors that yell "Shut Up" at you as often as possible,
Chez Sarcastica

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Oh Man!

I can't believe that Nadia was voted off American Idol. And even worse, I can't believe Bo was in the bottom 3. Okay, I know I shouldn't complain because I don't vote, but WHY IS ANTHONY FEDOROV STILL IN THIS CONTEST. Watching him sing is like watching a geeky 15 year old boy hit on a gorgeous 30 year old woman, kind of funny but mostly just awkward, weird and completely annoying after awhile.
Watching Vonzell and Anwar is about as much fun as watching paint dry, and Constantine just really annoys me now with his constant flirting with the camera. Seriously, how did his band every treat him like a real rocker? The boy obviously needs to be in a few boy band videos, he seems to have the moves down already.
My biggest problem with Nadia and Nikko being voted off already is that they were interesting to watch. They didn't always pick the best songs, but they always performed the heck out of them.
Except for Bo, everyone that's left is just boring. No one does anything original or interesting.
Please remind me why I watch this show.

Have you heard about the shootings on the freeways in L.A.? It's getting really weird around here. I have never been so happy with my 3 mile-all side street- commute in my life. I can't imagine anything worse than driving along, minding your own business and then WHAM! the guy sitting next to you is dead. And so is the guy sitting behind him.
Carpool would never be the same after that. I mean, how can you complain about the traffic anymore?

On a final note-
The Boyfriend and I made our usual Thursday morning romp to the gym, and as usual, no one was there to work the front desk. As we are walking by, I see him reach over and turn a sign face-down.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because, I just hate this place"
I couldn't stop laughing. Haven't you ever caught yourself/someone else doing something so juvenile and passive aggressive that it's just ridiculously funny?

At least it made the first part of the workout go faster.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Hi Again

So, I have already succumbed to the "sorry I haven't posted in awhile" thing that bloggers like to do. While The Boyfriends Mom was visiting, I just didn't have time or the energy or really anything to say.

It seems that people in my office like to come to work sick. And then complain about how sick they are. Meanwhile people are dropping like flies around them and the one person who brought the sickness into the office is still milling about looking for sympathy because they feel like crap and they "don't want to go to the doctor because they hate doctors." How can you hate doctors? They make you better stupid person! And they provide lovely drugs with which to make you better.

The reason I am bringing this up is because I spent all of last week feeling like total crap. Not sick, but just "off" enough to know that I am totally fighting off the sickness that has permeated my office. Seriously, what is wrong with people like this? GO HOME. No one cares that you are sick, because you have succeeded in getting everyone sick around you and now we all just hate you.

On another note, The Boyfriend and I have started compiling a list of several ways to tell if people are going to suck at driving. Feel free to add to it based on your own experience:
1. You are old and you are wearing a baseball cap.
2. You are female and you have stuffed animals lining your back window.
3. You talk on the phone while driving AT ALL.
4. You drive an SUV, you talk on the phone while driving and you have kids in the car.
5. You have kids in the car and you apparently need to yell at them, but only while turning completely around in your seat and not watching the road.
6. You drive any kind of kick butt sports car, because that means you can't drive over 20 mph.

I lost count on how many times we were almost killed this weekend by people talking on the phone while driving. It is really getting dangerous out there.

We went to the Getty Museum on Friday. I love that place. It has my favorite painting which is only my favorite because the faces are so life like they actually creep me out.

So of course I bought a print of it, so I can be creeped out at home.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Showtunes Really Aren't That Bad

So, I haven't posted in awhile. I haven't really had anything I felt was worth talking about. Then I decided to post about American Idol last night, all the while realizing that this blog is so going to become only about what T.V. I watch. I seem to be okay with that.

So, last night's theme was Showtunes. Now I don't know what you think, but some really amazing music has been written as showtunes, not that you would have known that based off of last nights performances.

Why Bo Bice didn't sing something from "Tommy" or "Hair" or any other musical from the '70's is totally beyond me.

As The Boyfriend put it, "they are all picking the songs I fast forward through."

People, there are ages and ages of great, great music to pick from. Maybe the contestants all need to be assigned a song tutor to help with the selection.

I think I am going to quit watching until the final 3, because I feel more than one person needs to go a week.

On another note, I just had a really fun conversation with someone from IT about musicals and theatre and lighting designers. Seriously, how fun is it when you talk to someone you never realized was into theatre about "Guys and Dolls" and how "no one used to use microphones in my day" and some people just can't find their light, no matter how hard they try!

How bizarre.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Hi

Hello. It is hot today. Hot weather makes my brain melt.

You think I am exaggerating, but I'm not.

Don't you hate it when the weather gets colder and it takes you forever to remember to bring a coat with you whenever you go somewhere. Then, when the weather finally starts warming up, it takes you forever to remember/feel comfortable NOT bringing a coat with you?

The boyfriend is already comfortably past bringing a coat with him anywhere, but I am not yet, so there are lots of conversations about coats in the morning. I find it funny that a piece of clothing has such a hold over me. I must be getting old.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

A Day Like Any Other Day

Sorry, I am late in posting today. I have been trying to figure out what to say about the Terri Schiavo case, if I want to say anything at all.

I decided I just have a few things to add. I was really bothered that everyone today on the news offered their condolences only to her parents. What about her husband? He lost a wife today. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances, but I don't think that should matter.

Also, I just wish this would hurry up and be over. I never though I would long to hear news of what's happening with Brad and Jen's divorce or some other inane news item, but if I hear one more interview with Terri Schiavo's parents, lawyer, or priest, I am just going to lose it. Suddenly this woman is an angel, a pawn, a doll. Really, we know nothing about her, and we never should have. For all we know, she liked to run over puppies for fun. I'm sure that's not true, but we just don't know. It's over and I hope the autopsy proves the husband was right. Then he can sue that priest for slander.

On a much more fun note, I went to the mall for lunch today with some friends from work. Did you know there is a New York Deli style restaurant there? I had the Jennifer Aniston - basically a tuna melt on rye. It was seriously the best tuna sandwich I have ever had.

That Aniston chick is a good cook. Maybe she's looking for a roommate!

One more thing -
I know that bringing your left over Easter candy to work is a great way to get rid of it, but I have been on a constant sugar roller-coaster for a week now. I think Jelly Belly puts something in their jelly beans. I can not stop eating them. I think they are calling to me right now.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Updates

I am installing a new comments thing through Haloscan. Unfortunately I lost everyone's comments so far. Sorry about that. Feel free to repost them if you like.

Haloscan is giving me a few fits, so I apologize if you have any problems.

And, I wanted to let everyone know that they threw out the death penalty for the man I wrote about earlier. So a man that drove a woman off the road, raped her, shot her, and then shot and paralyzed a man that tried to help the woman will not face the death penalty because some juror insisted on preaching and preying upon the jury's Christian sensibilities instead of just dealing with the facts of the case.

I sound like I am really getting down on the bible. I have no beef with people who are religious. I have issues with people who think they don't have to make any decisions for themselves.