Light Bulb

I had one of those moments the other day, wherein a co-worker said something that finally gave me some insight into how they tick.

I will not say any more as people are getting better at finding this blog, but it was such a light bulb moment - I don't want to forget that it happened. And that I finally now feel like I've got some perspective on this person, instead of just finding them mystifying.

Wow.

Shirt

I'm wearing this long sleeved blue t-shirt today - I think I've owned it since college and I just realized that it's too big for me and I should probably make sure it lands in the "Goodwill" pile. But, I feel attached to it somehow and I don't want to get rid of it.

I very rarely feel that way about clothes. I have no real reason to be attached to this shirt. I don't remember wearing it during some life changing event, it's just a standard navy blue t-shirt and I feel some odd emotional attachement to it.

I've even put it in the "running clothes" drawer and worn it a few times. Although, it's actually a bit too warm for running.

Someday, I will stick it in a bag and forget that I own it and I won't feel so bad when I send it to Goodwill.

Someday.

Thirty

Yay! Last day of NaBloPoMo! I've made it. I wish I could say I've posted some great posts this month. Mostly I've just scribbled some thoughts on this blog and hit Publish. Someday I will get my crap together and actually spend some time on my writing.

Dinner last night was awesome. We got home late, so The Boyfriend and I slept in a little bit and got up to go for another hour long walk. I'm writing this as he's cooking dinner and in a couple of hours we will do another workout of 30 Day Shred. Tonight is a big night, we're going to try Level 2, I feel pretty ready for it. Should be interesting to see how sore I will be tomorrow!

I re-stained the top of our coffee tables today as The Boyfriend finished a freelance editing project. They are still downstairs, I can't remember to go get them before we go to bed.

I'm still learning our new camera. It's pretty amazing what it can do. The Boyfriend spent some time going over things with me and explaining them further. This is a whole new world for me, pretty fascinating stuff. Now we're talking about getting a laptop so I can learn Photoshop and really have some fun taking photos. None of this will happen until after the new year and The Boyfriend gets some more work.

Dinner's ready, so I'm off! Happy Last Day of NaBloPoMo!

Twenty Nine

Okay, I am very happy to report that Yogurtland definitely lived up to all of Lauren's hype! They have so many flavors and you get to add your own toppings! Then you pay by the ounce, so it was about $1.50 cheaper than Pinkberry for The Boyfriend and I. I wish it was closer, I would definitely go more, so for the time being, Pinkberry still has my heart. But Yogurtland was awesome and a great find!

Dinner was so much fun, I can now say with certainty that I've had London Broil. Also, Lauren's Pistachio Basil Butter was seriously yummy. I'm still thinking about it this morning! I really want to make some. 

It was really nice to hang out with Jimmy and Lauren - we played "Mall Madness" and "Apples to Apples" - which I've never played before and I totally loved it. Very fun.

Now I'm off to bed, it's WAY past my bedtime! And I'm barely getting this post in on time.

Twenty Eight

Not much to report today as The Boyfriend and I spent all day goofing around and getting a little work done. I'm so loving this mini vacation in my apartment.

Tomorrow we are going to Jimmy and Lauren's place for dinner. We've never been there before, so it should be fun! Also, we're going to Yogurtland to try some of their frozen yogurt that Lauren is always talking about! Also, we're going to introduce them to the most awesome board game ever, Mall Madness, which is going to be great!

I'm off to watch more movies and eat brownies filled with peanut butter.

Twenty Seven

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! The Boyfriend and I have stuffed ourselves silly - and spent the day laying around and watching movies, it's been a really awesome day. I hope everyone was able to spend the day with their loved ones and had time to give thanks for whatever they are thankful for.

I can't even begin to list everything I'm thankful for  - so I'm just going to say I'm thankful for everything and everyone in my life and leave it at that.

Twenty Six

It finally rained last night/this morning. I love the rain in LA, it happens so infrequently that I really enjoy it when it happens.

Work today was pretty laid back, we only worked until 1, then I went and ran a couple of errands and came home. The Boyfriend and I took a nap (awesome!) and just now we finished making our first Sweet Potato Pie. We're both so looking forward to Thanksgiving tomorrow! A day of just the two of us, eating, relaxing - hopefully we will get to go for a run in the morning before all the eating commences!

Today, I ran into Gelsons to pick up a loaf of bread - they had Orowheat on sale 2 loaves for $7, but when the cashier rang them up, they rang at their normal price. I asked about the sale price and she called a manager to do a price check. He came back and said I was absolutely right, apologized and said he would give me a loaf for free and the other one at the reduced price. I thanked him profusely and paid and left. Yay me! Yay free bread!

Now I'm off to watch Disc 2 of "John Adams"! Have you seen this? It's freaking fantastic!

Twenty Five

I'm still waiting for the rain to start that they promised. It was drizzling a little bit earlier, but no big showers like I was hoping for.

Today was such a chill day at work. I took a bit of a long lunch and went to visit Kathy and Lisa. We walked around Beverly Hills and went in a few shops. It was such fun to see hang with them and get caught up. I got to give Lisa her birthday present (yes, it was late, I'm not a good planner it seems), but I was really happy to see that she liked the earrings so much.

The biggest news today is that the Christmas present that The Boyfriend and I bought each other arrived today. We bought a new digital camera, a Canon Rebel Xsi and 2 lenses (a telephoto and a wide angle lens). We've wanted a nice camera for such a long time, and The Boyfriend had some freelance money come in, so we went ahead and got it now. It's freaking awesome. The Boyfriend has not stopped playing with it since I got home. I guess I'm really going to get used to having my picture taken! I will post some photos soon as I need to spend some time playing around with it myself, otherwise there will be no photos of The Boyfriend (as he pointed out).

So yeah, exciting times around here. We just got done doing 30 Day Shred. I LOVE that workout video, more than I could ever imagine loving a workout DVD. I feel so awesome when I get done with it, it's definitely worth the $10. I need to feel awesome as I've gained about 7 pounds since July. I guess I need to really get serious about losing weight again. Ugh. Why can't this be easier? I'm really sick of being the girl on a diet. I want to get to a healthy weight and then just be able to spend my time focusing on something else. 

Twenty Four

Today was pretty cool, especially for a Monday. 

My run this morning was pretty awesome. 

I got a free coffee at the coffee cart due to a mistake they made and I have no boss this week, so work is fairly light.

I went to lunch with a friend and had a great time. Also, a chocolate chip pizookie, which was fabulous.

I ate a light dinner due to overeating at lunch and then let Jillian kick my butt with 30 Day Shred.

And now we are watching the cutest Polar Bear story on PBS. Seriously, there is nothing cuter than a baby polar bear.

I'm off to bed soon. If it's not raining, we are running in the morning. Then a lunchtime walk with Kathy and Lisa - which I am so looking forward to!

Twenty Three

Last night I forgot to write about the actual drive to Ikea. When we got on the freeway, we noticed it was kind of foggy, which of course meant people were driving like crap.

Once we got on the freeway it was so cool! Because of the fog, you couldn't see any of the city off of the freeway, so it was like the freeway existed and nothing else. I kept thinking of the Dr. Who episode with the people stuck on the freeway system for ever, it was so cool and kind of creepy.

Today was spent lazing around some more. We had big plans to get things done and while we did accomplish some of the plans, a lot of them were chucked out the window for a much longer nap than we originally planned and some more time to just hang. I feel like my soul has been replenished.

Also, I can't wait for it to be Thanksgiving! We have so many good food items purchased already and I'm trying to be good until then!

Now I'm off to get ready for my 1/2 week of work. Thursday can't come soon enough!

Twenty Two

The Boyfriend and I spent today lazing around the apartment, well, I guess by lazing around I mean, we got up at 6:30 am, went for a long walk, made breakfast, lazed around watching movies (John Adams is PHENOMENAL!), The Boyfriend captured some footage for a freelance project, I puttered around for awhile, we did 30 Day Shred and then went to Ikea and Chili's for a very late dinner.

Ikea was very productive, we found The Boyfriend a new office chair, which is so cool. He's needed a new chair for awhile now and we finally settled on one that was comfortable and had adjustable arms - which are a necessity for someone who records music at home.

As I type this, The Boyfriend is putting together his new chair and "Law & Order : SVU" is playing on the TV (the old lady from "The Happening" is playing an attorney!).

Well, The Boyfriend has started swearing, so I'm off to help put the chair together!

Twenty One

I keep forgetting that today's Friday. At least when I remember, I'm excited all over again.

I had a luncheon today as my floor won an award for our Fire Drill (I think it was at the end of September).

Anyway, they didn't tell us ahead of time which floor had won what award, like they usually do, so it was pretty fun to look forward to finding out. Turns out my floor (most especially the Floor Wardens) won "The Bravest" Award, an award they hadn't given in over 4 years - for the floor with the best and fastest Fire Drill and Floor Wardens. It was a huge honor and we were quite surprised. Top that with a catered lunch and today was pretty damn awesome.

Twenty

I don't have much to report today. It's Thursday and I'm really looking forward to not having any plans this weekend. The Boyfriend and I really need a weekend of laying around and getting things done - plus it's not hot this weekend which will make everything much better.

We're getting "John Adams" from Netflix this weekend. I can't wait to watch it.

I think that's all today. I made plans to walk at lunch next Tuesday with Kathy and Lisa, which will be awesome. I never get to see them anymore and really miss walking with them during lunch.

Nineteen

We just got back from a Pinkberry event! I signed up for Pinkberry emails a couple of weeks ago, thinking they would send coupons or something. Imagine my surprise when I received an email asking if I wanted to RSVP to a Pinkberry event for the launch of their new flavor. I signed up, signed up The Boyfriend as my guest and left it at that.

This afternoon, I remembered that the event was tonight! I can't believe I almost forgot to go to the event that was purely free samples and a cool t-shirt.

So, we drove down to El Segundo, signed in, got our hands stamped (we're both OK), tried the new flavor (several times!) (Pomegranate, YUMMY!) and got my free t-shirt. Unfortunately, The Boyfriend did not get a shirt since I was the one signed up for the event. Then we were asked some questions about what we thought of the new flavor and the event in general. It was actually a lot of fun. There were some obvious Pinkberry corporate people there, I chatted with a few, let them know how much I loved the new flavor and then headed home.
It was a fun way to spend a Wednesday night! Thanks so much Pinkberry!

Oh, and The Boyfriend signed up for their emails as well, so he can get a cool shirt next time. Ha!

Here's the stamps, letting everyone know that we're OK!
I'm not sure if it's really funny or really inappropriate for me to be wearing a shirt that says "Share The Goodness" across my chest... Okay, we all know that's really funny!

Eighteen

Randomness:

1. Finally got my flu shot today. Everyone trying to give me some sort of illness at work can now suck it.

2. Losing weight has odd side effects. I can now fit into shoes I haven't been able to wear in several years. Today I wore a pair of brown loafers that are so comfortable now that I've lost weight, it's crazy. That and the boots I wore the other day, it's like I got 2 new pairs of shoes and all I had to do was shop my own closet!

3. I can not stop these freaking headaches. The weather lately is TERRIBLE! I stopped going to acupuncture after my emergency root canal and subsequent amount of money I had to pay to my dentist. Now I think I need to start going again, if nothing else, it makes me nice and relaxed which will at least help me deal with these headaches.

4. I wore a new pair of grey pants to work today. I lurve them! They will be my new "Monday Pants" (a phrase I stole from Kathy). Monday pants are those pants that always fit well and are easy to make an outfit with, therefore you wear them on Mondays, the day when you're mad that you have to go to work, so having an easy outfit to throw together on Monday mornings makes life a lot easier. Bon, n'est pas?

5. Thanksgiving is next week, which means Christmas is only like thirty-some odd days away. Man, where the heck did this year go?

Seventeen

Wow, taking today off of work was the best idea ever. I'm finally starting to feel better and I got to spend another day hanging out with The Boyfriend. Well, I hung out while he worked on an editing project.

So, back to work tomorrow. At least I'm looking forward to it now that I've had some downtime.

I'm so happy the winds have changed direction, my head is not hurting today. Man yesterday was rough - there is nothing worse than waking up with a migraine.

I'm off to watch TV with The Boyfriend and decide if I want to do 30 Day Shred tonight.

Sixteen

Ugh, I don't know if it's the wine I drank last night or the horrible air from the fires, but I woke up this morning with a terrible migraine. I couldn't eat, could barely drink anything and just felt like crap. I slept in until 9, which is quite late for me, and when I got up, I pretty much parked myself on the couch. The Boyfriend was so wonderful about taking care of me.

Around lunch I finally ate something and it stayed down, so I was able to take some migraine medicine. Now I'm feeling pretty good, which usually happens when the headache goes away. Although, I feel like the stupid headache could come back at any moment, so I'm trying to get some things done around the house while I still can. I know that seems weird, but when the migraine goes away, I usually get a huge rush of energy.

Although right now, I'm trying to eat enough to make up for the fact that I've really not eaten anything today. I barely ate lunch and now that it's dinner time, I've eaten dinner, a dessert and I'm still hungry. At least I have tomorrow off of work, I can get some more things done while The Boyfriend works on his freelance project. 

Fifteen

Okay, so I have no idea why people were so down on "Get Smart". I loved it. I thought the humor was very dry and witty, the casting was great and the story was very fun. Steve Carell was brilliant. 

I'm writing this while I wait for The Boyfriend to get ready. We're heading to a birthday part for David, whom we haven't seen in forever. I'm so excited to go and see him and everyone there, it should be a good group of people.

So, I'm off to figure out if what I'm wearing is going to be cool enough as it's ridiculously hot here. Seriously, anyone that thinks global warming isn't true should just look at the fact that it is so damn hot here in California. Between the weather and the fires, my allergies are going crazy and I've been getting headaches every day. I'm taking Monday off of work so I can just relax and get a few personal things done - mostly to take a nap too and just try to feel better.

Fourteen

Another late post. The Boyfriend and I just got home from running errands, which sounds painful, but it was actually quite fun as we got some stuff done and I love nothing more than checking things off of my "to-do" list.

I had the weirdest thing happen to me at lunch today. I was waiting in line to pay for my lunch and humming to myself (probably "Devil and the Deep Blue Sea", but it could also have been "Witchcraft" - I've had these 2 songs stuck in my head all week) and the guy in front of me turns around and asks if I'm a singer. I say yes, he asks what I like to sing, I say everything. During the conversation, he asks if I write music, I say no, but my boyfriend does. Turns out he writes R&B songs and says has had some on TV. He asks me if I have a card, I say no, do you? He digs through and finds one, asks me more about what type of music my Boyfriend writes, we chat a few minutes more and he leaves, letting me know I should make sure and have my boyfriend call or email him.

Seriously, weirdest thing I have ever had happen to me while waiting in line.

Now I'm off to watch "Get Smart" and eat some popcorn!

Thirteen

Wow, I'm writing this late. Too many things going on, too much to do, so little time in the day.

I tried to take today off of work, but was denied. I'm obviously not happy about it as I was really planning on having today off, but there is a chance I can take Monday off, so I'm keeping my hopes up about that.

I went to a new restaurant today at lunch - Jack Sprats. I tried Sweet Potato Fries for the first time, man were they ever good. Not as heavy or greasy as normal french fries and a ton more flavor. Now I understand why people online make sweet potato fries for themselves at home!

Wow, I'm suddenly exhausted. I feel bad for posting this as a post as I've really written nothing of interest. I have all of these stories that I've been saving in my head for NaBloPoMo and yet every day I find myself scraping together a post and throwing it online. Maybe this weekend I will finaly find the time to sit down and write something of interest.

Right after I get done cleaning and returning things to Target and finding some new pants at Old Navy and going to a friends birthday party and all the other things on my to do list.

Now I'm even more tired.

Twelve

Oh man, getting up today was hard. My head is still hurting, but as long as it doesn't turn into a migraine, I can deal.

I was able to talk The Boyfriend into not grocery shopping last night - which was easy since he'd just received a new piece of electronics for recording music and he wanted more time to stay home and play with it. I love it when he gets like that, because he spends a good portion of the night playing music for me and it's too rare for him to do this anymore. When we first started dating, he used to play the guitar and sing to me all the time and I miss it. Our lives get too busy and it takes something like a new piece of equipment for us to slow down and just enjoy hanging around, singing together (when I know the song he's playing, which isn't very often- we have different tastes in music) or me just enjoying his singing and guitar playing. It's nice to be able to have a night like that. One that I can appreciate because it's been awhile.

Which means tonight we HAVE to go to the store. Oh well, it should be a quick trip.

On another note, I'm in desperate need of new pants. I ordered some from Old Navy, but, they look HUGE once I got them out of the package. Maybe I've dropped a size? I don't know how that would have happened since the scale hasn't moved. We'll see tonight when I get home and can actually try things on.

Eleven

I saw the movie "Slumdog Millionaire" today. I went in with no great expectations, not knowing much about the movie. Man, it's been a long time since a movie really moved me like that. And it's not like it's the greatest story ever told, it's just a good story told well, with really amazing actors and directing.

Please check for this movie, it's such a great ride. I was in a pretty packed house and everyone was laughing, crying and applauded at the end. I love being a part of a crowd when the movie is so good that everyone is having the same reactions at the same time.

I have the worse headache this afternoon. I really hate this time of year in LA, the temperature bouncing back and forth really does a number on my allergies. Plus, I think I'm still fighting off the cold that The Boyfriend had last week. We're supposed to go grocery shopping tonight and then do "30 Day Shred". I'm hoping I can convince him to forego shopping for 1 more night and just stay home instead.

Also, it's Veterans Day. I wrote this last year, I still feel the same way. I'm so proud of my father for serving his country. A very good friend of mine has her brother over in Iraq right now and I'm sending him good thoughts and wishes for a safe journey home, whenever that may be.

Ten

Wow, I'm doing pretty good today considering how busy this weekend was and the fact that I walked in this morning with several fires to be put out at work. Not literal fires, of course, things like peoples food has "disappeared" from the fridge again, I have to set up a conference call for people in 3 different countries, my boss mentioned I'm going to get my review today and by the way, did I happen to have a copy of the last review I was given.

Luckily, I got everything handled just before lunch and met The Boyfriend for a walk. Man did I need that. No exercise really does make me a tired girl. Plus it was nice out with an awesome wind that really made it feel like fall.

This afternoon I got my review, no surprises there which made me happy and now I am completely crashing. Oh yeah, I had to order a new hard drive for the show, which I just got ordered.

The only thing that helps me make it through this last part of the day is that I have no plans for this evening. The Boyfriend and I get to just sit around and relax. Maybe actually have some time to enjoy each others company (nudge, nudge). I have no idea why I felt the need to share that with you, but I did, so deal with it.

I guess that's all. Man am I tired now. Why does this last hour of work drag on so slowly?

Nine

I'm sitting here waiting for an actor to show up to film something for our next episode, so I figured I should get my post in for today. I'm pretty exhausted, so this will be somewhat of a mish-mash (more so than usual).

Man, this has been a long week. Every day around 4:30 time seems to stand still. It makes the last part of the day almost unbearable. And yet, it flew by.

I spent a few hours today riding in a car (and by riding I mean hiding in the way back of a friends small SUV) reading a script and feeding lines to actors that were driving, or sitting in the passenger seat with someone basically sitting in their lap with a camera. It was great fun, especially since I'm someone that doesn't get carsick, so the constant movement and reading didn't bother me in the slightest. 

I'm finishing this post after we are completely done for the night. I am exhausted, the apartment is a mess and needs to be cleaned from top to bottom, I just ate breadsticks for dinner, but I am happy and ready for bed.

Now begins a new week at work. Hopefully I can get up and run tomorrow, I could really use the exercise!

Eight

I can't believe how much my feet hurt right now. We just got done filming for today, well about an hour ago we got done filming. I've taken a shower and had a snack, now I'm ready to try and relax before heading to bed.

Our extras were amazing today, it was a really awesome to spend the day with them, playing. 

I'm so tired, I'm not sure I'm even thinking straight. It was MUCH warmer than expected, so I'm sure I'm a bit sunburnt. It's a good thing I use sunscreen as my lotion every day, I was much better off than most people out in the sun.

I guess that's all. I'm seriously so tired. Tomorrow is going to come way too soon. But at least it's a much lighter day of filming, I get to spend most of it riding around in a car and making sure people are saying their lines right!

Seven

What a difference a day makes! I feel so much better than yesterday. The Boyfriend joined me for lunch yesterday and today, both days we walked for just over an hour, as fast as possible.

Oh yeah, exercise is definitely what I needed. Now if I could just get this headache to go away, I'd be feeling pretty good.

We have to run some errands this evening, but nothing too time consuming. And then we will have a chance to just relax before another weekend of shooting.

Someone asked me what we were doing for Thanksgiving today and I realized we have no idea. We'll be here, which is a change for us. I guess if we get invited somewhere we will go, but if not, we'll probably cook a Turkey at home, which we've actually never done! We've cooked turkeys, just never at our apartment. I'm looking forward to having several days off of work and plenty of time to do nothing but watch movies and maybe finish re-finishing some coffee tables.

Ah Thanksgiving, you feel so far away right now.

Six

It's been a hell of a day. Nothing terrible, just a constant busy-ness that I can't seem to get a handle on.

I hate it when I feel off my game at work, like I'm treading water. It's been a long time since I've felt that way at this job. Although, I did find something that no one else could find, so that makes me feel better, more like the old me, the problem solver, the one who can find the answers.

Tonight I have a line-through rehearsal, which I'm looking forward to. And I need to do a load of laundry to make sure my costume is clean for this weekend. Exciting stuff, yeah?

I've only run once this week, which I think is adding to the feeling of being off my game. The Boyfriend has been sick (and he never gets sick) so we've been sleeping in and being lazy. Although I really need to get off my ass and get back to seriously losing weight, I feel okay about this week, not stressing out about the eating and sleeping, mostly because I have a touch of whatever The Boyfriend has so I feel like sleeping a lot myself.

But next week? Next week is going to be a whole new story as I begin my countdown to going home at Christmas and my need to lose a big chunk of weight before I do.

Five

Hello! Today has been pretty sucktacular and this post will all be too much information. 

First I had a little "early visitor" at work, of course and I had no supplies AT ALL. I asked around and no one had anything either. I found a big huge pad sample stupid thing that I had thrown in my desk as a  just in case I ever need this. 

Everything was just a bit off today. Then The Boyfriend called to tell me that there were big problems with some of the stuff we filmed for the sitcom last weekend.

UGH!

The best part of the day was going to Target with Minerva. At least I got a chance to just wander around and browse while still getting everything off of my list.

I just feel like I'm running out of time this week. We've got so much stuff to get done before Saturday where we will spend all day filming on location. We're pretty good to go, but there are always odds and ends to finalize before filming. Like extras. And food. And props. And getting my costume washed from last weekend. And dealing with work. And early monthly visitors.

Four

I can't believe how freaking tired I am. I fell asleep on the couch last night around 8:30, woken up a couple of times by The Boyfriend laughing at the Saturday Night Live stuff - and finally woke up around 10:30 pm sweating my ass off.

I called it a night and went to bed, only to wake up this morning around 6:30. The sad thing is, I'm not as sick as The Boyfriend is. But maybe that's why I'm sleeping so much, I'm really trying to fight this crap off.

All I know is that my chest and throat hurt.

Blargh.

I'm not sure my little heart is sturdy enough to make it through tonite. Already when I look at the results coming in, my heart starts pounding.

Maybe I'll mix a couple of drinks when I get home from work. Alcohol's good for colds, right?

Three

Apparently I'm getting sick. Which sucks. I have this week to feel better and then Saturday I have a full day of filming on location (with extra's and everything!) that will make it quite the full day.

UGH!

I knew this was coming. I've run myself ragged these past 2 weeks and I had a feeling I would probably get sick after the first weekend of filming. But I was hopeful I wouldn't as I still got plenty of sleep this weekend and made sure to drink lots of water.

Alas, it did not help. The only updside is that I'm never sick for that long and I am not nearly as sick as The Boyfriend is already. We have no plans tonight so I will park myself on the couch and get some rest.

Day 2

I'm still so freaking tired. This daylight change is killing me. I want to go to bed and it's only 6:30 pm!! Getting up to run tomorrow had better be easy darnit.

So, filming went really well this weekend. Today was nice as we had a handful of short scenes to film, so everything was laid back. 

We finished filming our outdoor scene yesterday JUST as it started raining. Like, I felt a raindrop hit me literally 30 seconds before we finished the scene. As soon as Robb called "CUT" I let everyone know I had felt a raindrop and we started running inside. Literally, as the door closed, the skies opened up and it began POURING down rain. And we even had some Thunder! Rain happens so little around here, we had to pull everyone away from the window to finish filming. Man, you just don't have timing like that very often, so it was pretty amazing.

I'm off to find some dinner and watch some "Torchwood".

Day One

Welcome to NaBloPoMo 2008! 

I'm up early to get ready for our first day of filming for episode 8 of Life From The Inside. It's been quite awhile since we've filmed a full episode, so I'm a little excited and nervous. I have some scenes where I really drive the dialogue, which is a little different for my character.

Anyhoo, it's supposed to rain today, so we'll see what happens as of course we're supposed to film 1 scene outside. 

I'm freaking tired and waiting for the coffee to finish brewing. I've already had some mini chocolate donuts and now I need some coffee to get this sugar rush really going.

NaBloPoMo

I've signed up again to do NaBloPoMo (Or National Blog Posting Month for those of you not in the know), so soon I will actually be blogging every day.

I know it's been awhile, but I've been in a bit of a funk lately, so I didn't have anything to say worth writing down. It's really mostly due to my lack of weight loss and just general "meh"ness, but that seems to be going away, so I will be back to my usual "slapped together complaining about things" style of writing very soon!

I know you're on the edge of your seat. :)

No on Prop 8

Now is the time to donate. Let your support be known.

Please vote No on Prop 8 in California. I had the pleasure of being a witness to my good friends Stephen and Garry's marriage last night and I can't believe people out there want to take that right away. There is no such thing as separate but equal.

All of the below awesome photos courtesy of LookyDaddy!

Goals

I've settled on some new weight loss goals -

30 pounds lost by December 31, 2008.

20 pounds lost by March 22, 2009.

This means I will hit my goal weight by my birthday next year. All totally doable, I just have to stay the course.

Obviously, getting through the holidays will be a challenge, but I'm going to meet it head on.

Shut up Brain

I've turned a corner with my running again.

From the beginning I have had huge struggles with figuring out how to pace myself. It's just not something that comes easy to me.

Recently, my body has been trying to set a pace from the start of my run that just seemed too fast, so I would always slow myself down to be able to maintain my speed.

I mean this literally, I would start running and think, "oh no, this is way too fast. I can't possibly keep this up for the next 30 minutes".

Well, one day last week I was lost in thought, or I had to pass someone, or something that took my attention away from running. And when I got to the end of my run, I had run the farthest I have ever run in 30 minutes. Awesome to say the least.

And then, 2 days later when I ran again, I made the same distance (which is miraculous since most of the time I've had a huge spurt in my distance, it takes me weeks to repeat!).

And now, all I can think about is how much I must be holding myself back, not just in running, but in life. How many times have I over-thought something, given up before I've even started?

As of right now I'm about 1/4 of a mile away from finally running a 5k in 30 minutes. I guess I should get around to finding a "real" 5k race to run.

Push Up Challenge Week 2

Here's my numbers for week 2 of the Hundred Push ups Challenge.

Day 1 - 9, 8, 6, 4, 10

Day 2 - 11, 9, 7, 7, 15

Day 3 - 10, 10, 8, 8, 15

Grand total of 137!

I can really tell a difference already in the fact that my arms are not so tired at the end of the workout. Also, they don't ache in the middle of the night after we do the workout.

Although, I am a little worried from here on out - weeks 3 through 6 - the numbers jump pretty quickly - so it's going to be fun to see if I can keep up!

UK

I've always had a love for England I couldn't explain - now that I live in California it seems to have grown exponentially. I tie this to my weird obsession with moving. I love it, I want to do it more, it makes me feel less stuck in my life. Plus I sometimes miss living someplace that actually gets cold on the winter.

I'm not kidding when I say my obsession with the UK has grown in the past few years. I found out recently that they will let you work there if you're also attending school there and the work is within the field you are studying. I can't tell you how often I now daydream of The Boyfriend and I selling all of our stuff and going to grad school so we can be actors overseas.

I think I'm addicted to change. That may be why I like traveling and moving so much. I don't get to do nearly enough of those in my life right now. While the moving part is totally out of the question at the moment, I think I may need to set my sights on figuring out how to make the traveling part do-able.

100 Pushup Challenge Week 1

So, The Boyfriend and I have completed our first week of workouts for the Hundred Pushup Challenge.

Remember, in my original test I did 12 regular pushups in a row.

So far, my totals for last week are:

Day 1 (30 seconds rest between sets)
7, 7, 5, 4, 5 = 28

Day 2 (60 seconds rest between sets)
9, 8, 6, 5, 10 = 38

Day 3 (120 seconds rest between sets)
10, 8, 8, 5, 15 = 46

My arms were pretty sore last night - the numbers jump up quicker than I had thought. Plus I went all gung ho and my last set, I only had to do "at least 10" but I decided to push myself and do 15.

The nice thing is that I can stay on any week that I want if I find that I just can't manage the next week's workouts. It's going to be very interesting to see how Week 2 progresses. I'm already seeing definition in my arms and shoulders. Plus I am definitely getting an extra workout for my stomach and back. Pretty awesome stuff.

Re-Upping

I'm going to be back to constantly posting about my weight loss/workouts as I've just recently sat myself down and had a long talk with myself about how I've really let everything slide for the past couple of months.



See, after I had the cyst removed from my back I quickly realized I needed more calories per day for recovery or I felt really sick and lightheaded. Of course, that never really went away as we began filming new stuff for the show plus my whole tooth trauma and I ended up on a serious plateaue with my weight loss.



Well, actually, I gained 3 pounds, but whatever.



But no more!



As of this morning, 1 of those lovely pounds is gone. And I'm gunning for the other 2 as I type this.



One of the things that really got me back into the swing of weight loss is my discover of this - 100 Pushups workout online. I'd seen it around but never really explored it when I decided I needed something new to get me going again.



And man this is definitely it!

What clinched it for me was reading about it on one of my favorite blogs All & Sundry. If I ever look as great as Linda does, I will totally post pictures of myself in a bikini.


The Boyfriend was really excited to try this out as well, so we've added it to our nightly workout regime.

Oh yeah, I said nightly. I've been pushing myself back into the "more than once a day" workouts again as well as re-committing myself to Nutrisystem.

See, I have about 50 more pounds to lose before I hit my goal weight. And I would like to not be on Nutrisystem longer than a year - so I have roughly 4 more months to hit my goal weight.

Ha! I'm fairly certain I won't make it, but I'm sure going to try.

Back to the pushups stuff. I LOVE this workout. It's 3 days a week and at the end you are supposed to be able to do 100 pushups in a row. I'd completely forgotten just how much of your body pushups work. We've only done 2 workouts and I can already tell a difference in how my arms feel, which is good because the weight loss has allowed some flappy skin to appear in my upper arm area and I am not happy about it at all.

Eureka!

I just had one of those moments, you know, the kind where something is so obvious you feel really dumb for not realizing it earlier...

Yeah, I realized that instead of complaining about part of my role as producer for my show, I should maybe just embrace that I'm the one who gets this done and just do it. It will be done, it will be done to my happiness and we can move forward on other stuff that needs to be worked on.

Ugh, I'm not sure this is coming out right, but I don't feel like editing myself today.

In toothy news, I finally feel better today after the whole root canal/infection fiasco. I'm almost done with the antibiotics, the swelling around the tooth/jaw area is going down and I'm not in pain any longer. So, yeah, things are looking up in that aspect. Now I just need to make an appointment with my dentist to get the crown prep done.

This past Sunday I had some time to kill while The Boyfriend was designing something on the computer, so I decided to finally try doing a conditioning treatment on my hair with Olive Oil. I've done a lot of research about this lately and I really wanted to try it, but I needed to find a couple of free hours to set aside and I finally had them.

So, I took 1/2 cup of Extra Virgin Olive Oil that we had sitting around and dumped it all over my hair while I was leaning over the bathtub, rubbed it in really well and piled my hair on top of my head. I had been warned that the olive oil would really run, so I put on a plastic shower cap and wrapped a towel tightly around my head.

Then, I just let it sit, for about an hour and a half. I vacuumed, mopped the floors, read a bit of a book, marveled at the fact that my hair smelled like it was baking and finally jumped in the shower. Man! I can't recommend this enough! I washed my hair twice to make sure I got all of the oil out, conditioned and let me hair air dry. It was magical. My hair was super shiny and extremely soft, without being limp or looking greasy.

Now I'm going to have to start purchasing olive oil at Costco to make sure I can do this at least once a month!

Apparently My Teeth Are Old

Yesterday I had the pleasure of getting an emergency root canal. What made it an emergency you ask? Well the fact that I had to have that day.

Yes, it was just as much fun as you could ever think it was.

6 months ago I had a filling done on this tooth and it took forever to heal. I chalked it up to the fact that I'm getting older and thought nothing of it. My dentist had discussed with me the fact that they had discovered the cavity just before it reached the nerve, but there was a chance I would need a root canal in the future. And the future was yesterday. Blows your mind, doesn't it.

So, about a week ago my jaw starting hurting every once in awhile, but I didn't think anything of it since my allergies have been quite bad lately and when that happens, I get pains in my teeth/jaw/whatever.

But, 3 (I guess now 4 days ago) the pain really stepped it up a notch. I thought I had a gum infection or something so I was taking aspirin every 4 hours on the dot as well as rinsing with Listerine when finally, on Wednesday night, everything stopped working.

Poor Lekowicz was over for a meeting and got to witness first hand just how much pain I was in, I just couldn't think about anything else.

So, yesterday morning I got up and called my dentist first thing. He is out of town at a seminar. So, I called the dentist he referred everyone to on his voicemail. Luckily, the very nice lady that answered the phone worked me in first thing yesterday morning - and they were literally next door to my dentist, so I knew where I was going.

The new dentist did some tests and x-rays and concluded that I needed a root canal. Since I was in so much pain and had been for days, he called the Endodontists that he refers everyone to, and got me an appointment that day.

So, I headed off to work for a couple of hours to try and get my mind off of the pain. At 12:15, I headed to Santa Monica, with the understanding that this was an evaluation visit and I might not be getting a root canal. Luckily for me, the Endodontist was a real pro, he did several tests, the last of which was holding some sort of cold metal pen thing to my teeth to show me that my tooth was in fact dead. It was really freaky realizing that I couldn't feel anything with that tooth.

So, we began the root canal after he explained how much it would cost. Luckily I was already in a ton of pain, so I didn't have time or energy to care. Which is good because I'm also going to need a crown when this is all healed and I have no idea how much that will cost.

I feel the need to point out now that my Endodontist smelled like Aveda products. Being a huge fan and someone that uses Aveda, it was oddly comforting. Plus, it was nice that someone who was going to be so close to me smelled nice and not in a "I bathed in cologne today" way.

Long story short, I had a root canal, was informed that I also have an infection in my jaw, written a prescription for antibiotics and sent home to rest at around 2:30.

Since I had not eaten since a very rushed breakfast around 7:30 am, I was starving. I ate a quick lunch, wherein I bit the crap out of my lip and now I have a really gross bruise on the inside of it. Apparently eating while your mouth is numbed all to heck is not a good idea unless you are paying close attention.

And here is where it gets really bad.

As the numbness wore off, the pain came back in a very bad way. I was literally crying uncontrollably, rocking back and forth to try and alleviate the pain somehow. The Boyfriend was trying everything he could think of to get me to calm down and try to breathe through the pain, but I was having none of it. Crying, of course, was not helping anything since that was making my head hurt worse, but I just could not stop. I've never felt this way before, or at least, in such a long time that I don't remember what it feels like to not be able to control what your body is doing.

This lasted for a couple of hours. I finally calmed down when the aspirin kicked in and started alleviating some of the pain.

Later that night I was treated to a wonderful surprise when Kendra stopped by with a huge stuffed Monkey for me, plus a bag full of treats like an ice-cream bar and Advil. It was so thoughtful I almost starting crying again! Apparently I'm a bit emotional over this.

So, anyway, I'm at work for part of the day today, mostly to get out of the apartment for a bit, before I get too tired and hurty. My jaw is quite sore, but my tooth already feels better.

I've had this conversation many times before, but it's quite sad how it takes something like this happening before you really appreciate your health. Or your teeth.

Happy Birthday!

The Boyfriend - 

I couldn't ask for a better best friend, partner if life, person who makes me laugh, love.

I can't wait to see what the future holds for us. There is no one else I would rather wander through it with.

Happy Birthday!!

Love you - 

Chez

Hot

I took a little break there, internet. I don't think anyone really needed to hear any more of my rants about why people suck. So, yeah, I've dealt with my anger over my nephews situation and now I leave everything in the hands of the police. I still have moments where I get so mad I feel my temperature rise - but my nephew is alive and safe, so I'm letting go of some of my anger abot this.

Oh yeah, my nephew also had to have his appendix removed last week - they think this was also brought on by the car accident. So, he had 2 surgeries in less than a week. Awesome.

But, on the bright side, I talked to my sister and they were able to laugh about how horrible this situation is, which is always very comforting to me. Because if it's so bad that you can't laugh, in my eyes, that's really really bad.

Anyhoo - I'm on to dealing with other sad things - like the fact that The Boyfriend is turning 1 year older on Monday. Well, that's actually more sad to him than to me, I think he's definitely getting more awesome with age!

In other weirder news, I seem to be going through a phase of ingrown hairs in a rather inconvenient place. So, I did a little internet research and remembered that a friend had recommended the product Tend Skin before. Man, that stuff is expensive!

So, I found several recipes online that allow you to make it at home. Not only is this so much cheaper - but I get to have fun in the kitchen making concoctions!

I love doing stuff like this - I went through a phase where I made my own Windex. I know, it's kind of pointless, but I liked it!

So, for those that are interested, here's the recipe to make TendSkin at home:
Solution 1:
18 tablets uncoated aspirin, crushed
5 oz. rubbing alcohol
Combine.
Solution 2:
8 tablets uncoated aspirin, crushed
2.5 oz. witch hazel
Combine.
Combine the two solutions.
The aspirin will settle a bit, so shake it before use.
Apply to the bikini area to prevent ingrowns.

It can also be used to spot treat blemishes. (aspirin is acetic and salicylic acids.)

This stuff really works and someone said it averages out to $1.50 each time you make it! I love me some cheap homemade stuff that works.

Crash Update

I've found out some more details on my nephews car accident. I'm still trying to process this whole thing. If things had been even the slightest bit different, I would be writing this in an entirely different state of mind - let's just say I don't want to dwell on that too much. I'm still trying to deal with how uncontrollably mad I get at times even thinking about it.



It turns out he was hit by not one, but two different cars. Assholes that were drunk and racing each other. Not only did they hit my nephew's car, they both left the scene.



So, yeah, there are two people out there that had better hope I never discover who they are or where they live. How could you hit someone and leave them to die? They BOTH hit the car and both drove away, more worried for their fucking drunk asses than for the people that were in my nephews car (there was at least 1 passenger).



The thing that breaks my heart the most about this whole situation is that the last thing my nephew remembers of the whole car wreck is seeing his own blood spraying all over the car from his nose breaking after hitting the steering wheel. That's what these fuckers did. They left my nephew to bleed to death.



Not only were these drivers drunk, they were racing each other, driving recklessly and not caring for a second about anyone else's life around them. No care for the person who was being the designated driver for his friends, making sure they got home safely.

That's who they hit, the kid being responsible.


Life really pisses me off sometimes.

I Can't Believe This Shit

Have you read this? Apparently Brook Hogan "isn't into voting" and can't understand how we would ever have a woman president because poor Brooky has a hard time controlling her mood swings. Here's the quote in it's entirety:

"You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it's kind of crazy that [Hilary Clinton was] running because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I'm so moody all the time, I know I wouldn't be able to run a country because I would be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, you know?"

For fucks sake. I'm sorry for my language here, but seriously? This waste of space is in the public eye and this is how she treats voting and the idea of a woman being president? Can we take away her right to call herself female? Could she be more sexist?

I'm sorry, I don't know why this has bothered me so greatly, but this is just absolute shit. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, today there are rumors that she's going to pose for Playboy. People, this is what happens when you raise your children to not value an education and instead teach them that how they look is the most important thing in their lives.

Brooke is in the public eye and because of that she bears a certain amount of responsibility, as people actually look up to her and her family and will listen when she says things like "I'm not really into voting".

How fucking grown up and educated of you Brooke. Next please tell me how your not all that into wearing seat belts.

Crash

My nephew Josh was in a very terrible car wreck this weekend, so my time now is being spent worrying about him and beating myself up for not talking to him longer on the phone the last time I spoke with him.

He's in surgery now to fix his broken nose, otherwise, I think he'll be ok, as ok as you can be when you have a concussion and a broken nose (that's all the news I have as far as injuries) and you just totalled your car.

So yeah, I ask that you think of him, send him good thoughts, prayers, whatever works for you. Someone was watching out for him, he's very lucky that these are his only injuries.

Wherein I Got Stabbed In The Back

I'm not even kidding! I was literally stabbed in the back.

So, as it goes, I've always had this large pore on my back. My father has one too. At some point during my life, it decided to become a cyst. I have no actual recollection as to when this happened, but needless to say, its been there for awhile.

I kept meaning to ask my dermatologist about it, so a few weeks ago when I went in to have all of my moles checked (you've done this haven't you?! My Mom had some skin cancer removed from her face and ever since then I have become even more fanatical about sunscreen EVERY DAY.)

Anyhoo, I finally remembered this time to ask about the cyst on my back. And the dermatologist agreed, it needed to be removed. And then he measured it and commented that it was a large cyst - measuring 1 inch by 3/4 of an inch.

So, my moles all checking in as normal, I was sent home and told the surgical center would call me to schedule an appointment.

They did, I scheduled one and that was that.

I told my boss right away that I would be out for the day and what was happening. She was very nervous for me and kept commenting at how calm I was. I kept reminding her that it was no big deal and there was nothing to worry about. (Remember this, it's important later. Okay, it's not that important, but still. I had a few weeks before my appointment. Since I wasn't being put under for the surgery, I figured that meant it was no big deal.)

Wednesday, June 25th came before I knew it. The Boyfriend drove me to the surgical center and waited for me. Of course all of my calmness from the weeks before disappeared the day of the surgery. Especially when they slapped a bracelet on my wrist with my name on it. The Boyfriend made a joke that I was going to my first rave - the lady checking me in smiled, but wasn't nearly enjoying the joke as much as I was.

Here's the thing, I laugh when I'm nervous. And I was really nervous. So, The Boyfriend, being an amazingly awesome boyfriend, made jokes to help calm me down. We had a very funny back and forth conversation about a man that we decided was there to get his WHAT IS IT CALLED reversed.

Of course, the place was running a bit late. Donna (my nurse) came out and told me that they were running a bit late as the room had been over-booked and apologized. She came back out a few minutes later and brought me back to take my vitals and have me sign the consent form. Then I was sent back to the waiting room until my room was ready. During this time, Donna apologized at least 3 more times for running late, which was really nice if not unexpected from a surgical office.

About 15 minutes later my room was ready. Donna told me to disrobe and put on the lovely gown waiting for me. The Doctor came in and introduced himself (I know, weird right? I met this guy literally minutes before he cut me open.) Donna explained where I needed to lie down and such. She also commented several times that I was such a nice person and I seemed really happy. All I could think is "you're about to cut me open. Why would I be a bitch to you right now? What kind of horrible people do you deal with daily?"

The Doctor measured my cyst again - "Why this is a large cyst. It's an inch by 3/4 on an inch! Yes, this is a large one!" I really wanted to laugh to myself, I mean, I understand, he probably removes moles all day long, so I'm sure it's exciting to him to do something different, like my LARGE cyst, but still, stop telling me how large my cyst is!

So, I'm on the table, I receive lots of shots of morphine in my back and off we go. I can't even begin to tell you how absolutely creepy it is to not be able to feel what's going on in your back. Obviously I'm very appreciative that I didn't feel it, but still. I could feel him tugging, I could feel him dabbing at my back, but I couldn't feel anything else.

Now we get to the gross part. Since I've been operating under the idea that the cyst on my back was a zit, I used to get The Boyfriend to try and pop it for me. And the stuff that came out was quite awful smelling. So, you can imagine what it smelled like for the poor Doctor once he cut me open and had his face in my cyst. It was not pleasant. At one point he said "I don't know if you can smell this, but the cyst has some seepum that has a definite smell to it." I laughed.

After a few minutes it becomes apparent that the Doctor is not happy with how things are going. He explains that the cyst is larger than he expected and it really does not want to come out. Which explains the tugging. As he works harder to get the cyst out, he asks me if I want to see it once it's out, or should he just make it disappear. I of course, would LOVE to see it! I mean, come on, how often does one get the opportunity to see their cyst once removed.

This obviously surprised the Doctor a little bit, but he happily showed me the cyst once it was removed. It looked like an eyeball - white, with some red in it and very, very round.

Since the cyst was not co-operative in it's removal, the Doctor then spent some time excavating and making sure that everything was out. Then he began stitching me up. They used dissolvable stitches and then held everything together with "steri-strips", which is basically medical tape. During this part of the procedure, I kept worrying that I was suddenly going to start feeling everything. I'm always trying to be a good patient, since I know these people don't get a lot of thanks from the patients they see every day, but I was worried that I was trying to be too good of a patient, which would end with me being in a lot of pain because I didn't ask for more shots.

Finally, everything was done. The Doctor told me he was sorry he couldn't get the cyst out with a smaller incision. I told him not to worry about it, all I cared was that it was done and over with. He then bandaged me up like there was no tomorrow. I mean, I had tape on my back running from shoulder to shoulder. I was sent home with the instructions to take Tylenol for any "uncomfortableness" and not to get my back wet until Friday (2 days away!). The Doctor found it perplexing that my bandage was easily move-able, since it was between my shoulder blades, so he spent extra time making sure it wouldn't move, which meant I could barely move my arms due to the large amounts of tape on my back. But, I'm not complaining, he actually cared enough to make sure everything was right before I left the office.

So, I left with instructions in hand. "No running for at least 12 days, No getting wet until Friday, re-bandage as needed". The Boyfriend was very happy to see me, to say the least. He was shocked at how much bandaging I had on my back (as most people would be over the next few days).

Off we went home. I called my office to let my boss know that I was okay and on my way home. Once home, I emailed some friends to let them know I was home and okay - and then we ordered pizza (Papa Johns new whole wheat crust - it's AWESOME!) and I tried to figure out a comfortable way to lie down so I could take a long nap.

I'm going to stop here. I'll write more about my recovery tomorrow and hopefully find time to get my pictures in order!

I Have No Idea What's Going On Around Here

So, someone pointed out that I haven't updated about my weight loss lately. Which is nice, because I haven't and I worry that people are sick of hearing about it.

But, the truth is, I haven't lost much weight lately. In fact, according to my scale this morning, I've gained back about 3 pounds. But, 3 pounds is one weekend of me not being careful about what I eat and I quickly lose it after a couple of days of running and eating right.

Unfortunately for me right now, that's not an option. The running part anyway. See last Wednesday, I had very, very, very minor surgery(details coming soon! With pictures!). And apparently I am not a teenager any more, so it's taking a bit longer to recover than I anticipated. On top of that, I haven't been too careful about my eating habits lately as I need to eat more than the 1000 calories I roughly consume while on Nutrisystem, due to the fact that apparently your body needs fuel to heal and mine was not happy when I didn't give it enough fuel.

On the flip side, I seem to still be losing inches, or something as it was pointed out this weekend and by my boss today that I look thinner than ever. So, I just have no freaking idea what's going on, but I'm not going to dwell on it.

I took my measurements last week and I've lost another 2 inches (on average) all over. So, I must be gaining muscle. I'm definitely gaining looser skin. Which is weird. But again, it means I'm losing weight, so I'm not complaining.

While I'm enjoying the food aspect of healing, I'm going freaking stir crazy about not being able to exercise. The first 2 days afterwards, I slept a lot, so not exercising was no big deal, but since then I can't to anything without my wound being sore. I tried walking on Saturday morning while The Boyfriend ran his usual route, which ended with me being in pain. I walked at lunch today, again at a slower pace, and again, I'm in pain.

So, I will not be running tomorrow as planned. I may not run this week at all, but I will keep walking, even though it makes me sore. I have to do something, I hate the slug feeling I get from sitting around.

Payoff

Today is the day I will write the check that will payoff my car.

My car, that I lusted after for like 2 years.

My car, the very first car I have purchased with my own money. (I know you probably think I am spoiled right now, but seriously, I have owned 3 cars in my entire life, one was a hand-me down from my sister. Also, I treat my cars very well, so they last).

My car that I love driving and love parking so much more (because it's so small, you see!).

My car that is very fuel efficient.

My car that will now be officially be ALL MINE!

My car that I am paying off like 4 months early.

It's a good day people.

Allergy

I am freaking sick to death of my allergy problems. This has been a particularly dreadful spring/summer and it doesn't seem to let up. Today, I am fighting off constant congestion and now it feels like a migraine is coming on.

UGH.

Sunday

This is photographic evidence of what happens when The Boyfriend and I have a Designated Driver (or we just ride along with Steve and then inform him that he's our designated driver once we get there) and we attend a Bachelor/Bachelorrette party in Glendale that had pitchers of Margarita's just sitting around for us to serve ourselves.

Afterwards, we wandered around the new outdoor mall (seriously, I was WANDERING like only a drunk person can) when I noticed they have an H&M store. I've never been in one before. The Boyfriend may never let me in one again.

Resolutions

I ALWAYS feel better when I run in the morning. No matter how much I think I want to skip it, I shouldn't. So my new resolution is that unless it is a scheduled morning off, I'm getting my behind out of bed and lacing up the running shoes. Unless it's raining. I know this is going to be extremely difficult for me, but I'm really going to try.



I have a really hard time lately bouncing back from a "meal off". I've had several things come up lately where food was served and I allowed myself to enjoy a "cheat meal". But the truth is, I don't ever completely enjoy it. I feel guilty for not eating my Nutrisystem food (it's expensive!), I usually feel like crap after my "cheat meal" (usually because they are full of sodium and I feel completely dehydrated and yucky) but I still have a hard time going back to my Nutrisystem food because there is still a longing for the bad-for-me food. So, my new resolution to try and have no more cheat meals. I'm not sure this will happen, but I'm really going to try.



Losing weight is hard. And isolating. I know that's so simplistic to say, but at first, it wasn't really that hard for me. But most of my interaction with friends includes eating out. When I don't go, I feel isolated. And frustrated. I want to be off this diet. I want to be able to eat whatever I want. I want to be at a maintenance level. But that's just not reality for me. So, my new resolution is to just deal with this. I have so many people that have been and continue to be supportive, I'm really not isolated at all. I just need to learn to tell people how I'm feeling and suggest things that do not include restaurant meals. I need to take charge and put myself and my health first. My friends will be there when I am able to eat out again.

Most of my frustration lately is due to the fact that my weight loss has slowed down. But it's only slowed down because I've been not working at it. Since it was so easy to begin with, I figured it would always be so easy. And it's not. So I've had to really re-commit myself to a healthier lifestyle and a renewed sense of really working towards my weight loss.

Even though I've lost 30 pounds, I'm still not done. There was a time when that would have overwhelmed me. Not now. Now I will just keep working towards my goal. One meal at a time.

Goal

I have 4 days to lose 1 more pound in order to get my "30 Pound Weight Loss Bear" in my next order.

It's so on.

Of course, I plan on eating out tonight, so I guess that Margarita is off the menu for me.

Oh well! 30 pounds gone feels better than any alcohol anyway.

Happy long weekend everyone!

Hello There

I'm in a "get things done" kind of mood today, so I figured I might as well update here while I'm at it.

I've lost more weight - 28 pounds in total. I've noticed that when my body is in a losing weight phase - I tend to get into this "get everything done I've been putting off" mode, which is great. I'm sure it's because I've got more energy, plus I'm pumped at losing weight and my mind set is completely different.

I wish I felt like this all the time. I wonder if I will when I hit my goal weight. I've always been a procrastinator so I don't think that will go away completely, but hopefully this is something I can maintain while I work on staying at my goal weight.

Back to wishing I felt like this all the time - the funny thing is I think I would be a happier person if I stopped procrastinating. I'm always much happier when I've accomplished what I've set out to do, although I have a tendency to be very hard on myself when I don't get there fast enough. Just recently I've had to fight off worries that I'm never going to get to my goal weight. So what if I don't lose 20 pounds by June 22. I don't think I will be that far off and either way, it won't be the end of the world.

Diet? What Diet?

I realized I forgot to let everyone know that I am now moderating comments. Only because the show is getting bigger hits on Youtube and people are finding their way here to my site and while I will not comment back to the jerks on YouTube who think it's fun to call me fat and ugly, this site is mine and mine alone, so I have no problems with providing a smack down to those who need it.

That being said, a comment I received right after the show was featured on the front page of YouTube freaked me out because I realized that the person found me through our site for the show. And I had to really think long and hard about how I wanted to deal with those types of people, the kind of come here and think they can call me names or say stupid shit to me here. My conclusion was that I would try moderating comments and see how it goes (knowing I'm overreacting a bit, but still, it was an eye opener). So, if you comment and it doesn't show up right away, that's why. Please don't let this sway you from commenting!

In other news, since I last posted about my weight I lost another pound bringing the total to 25. Although when my boss got back from vacation this week, she insisted that I must have lost a bunch more as I look very skinny to her. Not that I'm complaining, but the scale hasn't moved in a couple of weeks. I know it's no big deal, I'm still losing inches like crazy. I'm so in-between sizes right now it's just really funny to me to try and get dressed in the morning. My friend Kendra was teasing me the other day that I am the only girl she knows who is actually upset that she needs to buy more clothes because she's losing weight.

But the fact of the matter is I don't see any point in spending money on clothes I won't be able to wear in a few months. Luckily I was a bit weird about saving clothes as I grew out of them, so I have been very lucky about not having to buy too many things so far. But that will change soon.

In running news, I have definitely turned a corner recently. I've consistently dropped 2 minutes off of my time - well, I run 2 minutes faster than I was. The first time this happened The Boyfriend and I completely missed each other at our usual meeting place. Because I had been walking so slow during our warm-up, The Boyfriend rightly assumed I was running slow that day and went the wrong way to try and find me, which made things worse.

We eventually found each other at the car, but it was very odd for me to finish my run by myself. I've never done that.

Then, the next day, I was running at the same pace, but this time The Boyfriend knew where to look for me so he caught up to me much faster. I figured since I was having such a good run, I would stretch it out and run the actual 5k distance instead of just stopping at 30 minutes like I usually do.

My new time? 35.5 minutes. And I sprinted the last part!

My old time? 43. Yes, that's right, I dropped almost 8 minutes off of my time!!! My body is definitely getting used to running with less weight and I'm enjoying that immensely.

So, someone asked me recently if I was still doing Nutrisystem and my response was a resounding YES!

I can't even begin to tell you how well this has worked for me. I plan on staying on this until I reach my goal weight. It's just too easy, I really don't feel like I'm on a diet most of the time. And with the results I'm seeing, it not would not be very smart of me to stop at this point in the game.

Onward and upward.

Melting

I'm trying to figure out how to fix my boiled brain as I just can't seem to concentrate on anything lately.

Of course, it could be because I've been busy, or that it's like a thousand degrees here.

Ugh.

So, I had lunch today with 2 good friends/former co-workers - Kathy and Lisa. It was so freaking nice to see them and spend some time with them. I forget how much I miss seeing them every day until we have lunch and then I have to come back to my desk and pretend I don't miss them terribly.

Ugh again.

Thank You for Not Smoking

I should have written about this sooner. Well, I was told not to for some of this time, but you will understand shortly.

What am I so awkwardly referring to?

The Boyfriend quit smoking.


March 8th to be exact.



Yeah, I'm pretty darn excited. And proud of him.



Of course, from my point of view it looks like it was really easy for him. I'm sure it hasn't been all cake and roses, but man he makes it look easy. I don't know if he'll ever get around to posting about it on his blog, but he should cause I would like to know just exactly went on in his brain while making this change.



Anyhoo, I wanted to show him a little fanfare over this huge, monumental thing he's accomplished. I've almost forgotten that he used to smoke. I know that sounds dumb, but it's amazing how quickly you can adapt and forget after things change.



So here's to my new smoke free Boyfriend. I'm so proud of you. I know I don't say it enough, but I am.



Go give him some love on his blog. This is something worth celebrating.

Apparent Differences

There seems to be some weird weight loss anomalies happening around here. According to the scale, I am about 5-10 pounds heavier than when we shot Episode 1, and yet, I put the jeans from that episode in the goodwill pile a couple of weeks ago. I realize that a lot of that is due to the fact that the jeans are over a year old and very worn out, but still, it seems odd that they are so big on me now I had to get rid of them.

Also, when we shot Episode 1, I couldn't wear my silver ring from Tiffany's that The Boyfriend gave me for Christmas. I remember being so upset about that. And now, it fits a little loose.

So, the question is, am I really 10 pounds heavier than I was about a year ago and still, somehow thinner? I have developed some awesome leg muscles from running, but it still seems odd. I wonder if the scale we owned then was a lot more off than we realized.

In more recent news, I've lost 2 more pounds = grand total of 24 pounds gone. Vince asked me the other day how much weight I've lost, his guess being over 30, which was very sweet and made me feel awesome.

Which prompted a different conversation between The Boyfriend and I - a conversation about how I look like I've lost more weight than I have and how that's obviously something to be happy about.

And yet, I wonder. Is it all Nutrisystem? Is my body just reshuffling? Is it because I've mostly stopped drinking soda?

I don't feel bloated anymore. I don't have the horrible PMS symptoms that started over a week before my period. My ankles don't swell like they used to.

Also, according to The Boyfriend, my knees are much thinner. And I realized last night that my feet look vein-ier, which I mean in a good way.

So yeah, things are still changing.

New and (hopefully) Improved

So I finally sat down and changed the template for this place.

I've been meaning to do this for so long I've completely lost track as to when I first entertained the idea.

But, due to The Boyfriend being away on a night shoot, I finally sat down and did it. Of course, there are still some things I haven't figured out, like the fact that I've lost all the comments that were on the old site.  Well, I haven't "lost them" lost them as I still have the Halo account they are stored in, but they won't be on this site until I can figure something out.

But for now, enjoy the new look.

I certainly do.

Young @ Heart

I saw this movie yesterday and I just don't know if I can put into words how amazing it is. I had no idea going in to it that it is a documentary and I especially had no idea how much I would end up crying while watching it.

I know that doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement, but it really is. If you have the opportunity to see this film, do it, it's such an awesome ride and the music is so varied it's fascinating to see the choir's interpretations.

Also, if you go and you don't cry, you can pretty much assume that you have no soul.

Letters

Dear April -

Sorry. I just can't seem to keep up. The theme for your month ("Letters") seemed like a great idea to me a few weeks ago, I couldn't stop thinking of ways to post each and every day.

And yet somehow I stopped. Sorry again. I have no excuses, no exciting reasons, just the idea that I am a little overwhelmed and posting is the last thing on my mind lately. Also, there's nothing really going on and I fear that all I would do is write whiny things about how much I hate everything. No one wants to read that.

If The Boyfriend and I get around to purchasing the new couch we want, I promise I will be back with a vengeance.

Love -

Chez

He's Here!

I am so freaking excited to meet this little guy!

Welcome Keiran Allan Cox! You have some awesome parents so I can't wait to see what kind of amazing person you become.

Meeting

We had a meeting tonight to discuss Episodes 8 and 9 - which took around 4 hours. I love it when we have meetings where things get accomplished, I hate it when they go past my bedtime. Now I'll never be able to get to sleep since I won't be able to shut my brain off anytime soon.

Closet Shopping

The Boyfriend had some freelance work to get done tonight, so I spent the evening entertaining myself by watching "Dancing with the Stars" and trying on clothes that have been stored at the bottom of my closet.

It's been fun since clothes I haven't fit in for years are now hanging back in my closet and in rotation as stuff I can wear.

I heart losing weight. I have two "new" pair of pants that I've actually owned for years - but I've only worn once maybe twice!

Also, I have a bit of a crush on Adam Corolla. It's not enough that I listen to him most mornings on my way to work, but now he's just too cute on Dancing. I'm always very impressed when people don't take themselves too seriously in life.

Night

I hate Sunday night.  I felt this way all through school. 

I just get a little sad that the weekend is over and I have to go back to work tomorrow morning.

Hopefully, someday I will love Sunday nights - I will love my job so much that the weekend ending isn't such a sad thing to me.

Someday.

Futurama

I'm in the middle of getting ready for a costume party. Our friend Stephen loves Halloween, so for his birthday in April, he throws a costume party.

This year the theme is the "Intergallactic Ball" and everyone's costumes are supposed to have something to do with space.

Of course, being huge Futurama fans, The Boyfriend and I decided to go as Fry and Leela.

So, I'm off to go spray my hair purple! I hope it looks good.

198!

There are times when I'm amazed at my ability to post my weight on the internet and not think for one minute about how that might not be a good idea.

Oh well - today is a day for celebration!

I have officially crossed the 200 pound mark - weighing in this morning at 198!!

Goodbye 200 pounds (and over) - I will never see you again. Sorry for being so excited about that.

Dear Body

I just want to thank you for all of your hard work lately. I haven't been very good to you these past couple of years and now I'm working you even harder than ever to try and lose all this weight.

But you're hanging in there! I've even worked out twice a day most days this week and you haven't complained at all.

Even when we had The Boyfriends Mom visiting and I cheated on the diet twice for dinner, you managed to continue to lose not only weight but inches too! Go you!

I hope we can continue this love-fest of weight loss for many more months together. Just remember how proud I am of all the hard work your doing on our behalf.

Love -

Chez

Tony P's

Tonight is the last night of The Boyfriend's Mom's visit. We decided to try a new restaurant and the only thing we knew was that we wanted to eat in the Marina.

So, I jumped on my favorite website Yelp and found Tony P's Dockside Grill. We had a really nice time - the restaurants had an amazing view of the boats in the Marina (which someone actually complains about in one of the reviews!) and the ambience was very cozy.

The food was good, nothing earth shattering, but good - huge portions, well made, nicely priced.

I let myself cheat on my diet since we were going someplace new and I'm very glad I did. Even though I was cheating, I made sure I didn't overeat and make myself sick. Plus, how can you not share a dessert with the name "Chocolate Lover's Dream"?

It was a very nice time and while I'm always sad to see Marcia go, I'm so happy we shared the experience of trying a new restaurant with her before she left.

Dear Universe

I'm tired. Seriously, March has been a very busy month. And while most of it has been fun (hello, it's my birthday month after all) I'm really ready for a break.

I don't know what April has in store for me, but it doesn't feel like it's going to slow down anytime soon.

The Boyfriend and I have begun our search for a new couch. This is where my year of being a professional internet surfer come in handy. I love researching things. I really do. But buying a new couch is such an investment and I just can't make this decision quickly.

Plus, we aren't just buying a couch. We're buying a new set piece for our internet show and that adds a whole new layer of stress to an already stressful decision.

At least The Boyfriend's Mom has been visiting and she's very fun to shop with. Plus she loves furniture so she loves helping us pick out our new couch. She helped us buy our first couch which was an awesome buy (until the frame broke beyond repair), so it's somehow fitting that she's here to help us make the decision again.

So anyway, Universe? I would love for things to slow down a bit. Not much, just enough to let me feel like I can get a breathe.

Thanks -

Chez

It's Thursday?

All day I kept thinking it was Wednesday, so I'm very happy to finally realize that it's Thursday, which means tomorrow is the end of the week.

This weekend has lots of fun things happening - we are having a new photo shoot for the sitcom, with photos taken by our favorite photographer David.

And The Boyfriend's Mom is coming to visit! She's the best house-guest and just the easiest person to be around.

I just wish this was somehow another long weekend. I feel like I could use the sleep.

Tire

Nutrisystem has little articles they publish every day and I find myself surprisingly looking forward to reading them since I usually find this type of stuff annoying at best.

So, today they wrote about a new way to look at weight loss and then listed the weight equivalents of a bunch of items which I found fascinating.

At my 20 pound weight loss, I've lost the equivalent of an automobile tire.

30 pounds = one adult male koala bear.

When I reach my goal of losing 80 pounds, I will have lost approximately 3 large gold bars.

I've printed out this list and I'm going to keep it on my desk at work. It's a fun way to stay motivated.

Crap

Today has been a rough day at work. That's all I'm going to say here.

And to top it off, I started my period 4 days early.

So, all in all, freaking great day.

And yes, I realize I seem to be surprised a lot by my cycle.

Next

I'm setting my next weight loss goal - 20 more pounds by June 22nd.

Now I'm off to be spoiled at Burke Williams.

Happy Monday!

Happy Easter

I can't believe how freaking hot it is today.

Also, Islands has the best vegetarian burger I've ever had in my entire life. 

That is all.

Actual Birthday

So, today is my actual 31st Birthday. It's been a really awesome day so far, The Boyfriend and I have just laid low after yesterdays craziness.

We started the morning with an awesome run, drove to Carson to Ikea to buy a new entertainment center. They didn't have the color we wanted, so we ended up driving to Covina.

Frantically purchased the new entertainment center, stopped at Target for a couple of things and drove home to immediately start putting together the new home for the TV which The Boyfriend awesome dubbed "Barbie's Dream Entertainment Center".

We barely finished putting everything in it's place in time to quickly clean and get ready for my birthday party.

The party was awesome, I had a fabulous time! We didn't get to bed until 2:30 am. The Boyfriend very nicely let me sleep in until 9 am this morning. And then we took a nap at 2.

It's been a great day.

Dude

I totally think The Boyfriend and I bit off more than we can chew.

More tomorrow on just how busy today has been.

20!

I've officially reached my first goal - 20 pounds by my birthday. 2 days early.

Hell ya.

Crazy

Today has been just a crazy day. I started the morning in an argument with someone that was just stupid, someone broke our color printer (it was eventually fixed), our copier finally died completely (I've been spearheading the "Get a New Copier" campaign) and my boss was just insanely busy.

Top that off with a newly bloody toe from trying to get out of someone's way at Costco during lunch and I'm ready to write today off.

The only redeeming thing so far is that Life From the Inside is featured on the front page of YouTube! This is a huge honor for us. I can't even begin to tell you how awesome this is.

Of course, with attention comes more comments about how fat I am. Which again, I'm not caring about, because apparently these morons now believe that I'm a lesbian and or a tranny since I'm overweight. I have to just laugh at these miserable people that are poor excuses for human beings. It makes me so sad to realize that they probably believe I'm a lesbian whose "only a lesbian because no man would ever date her" or some other such drivel. I am so horrified to realize that there are so many people out there that need attention, even if they can only get it by being assholes online.

Again, I'm doing nothing but laughing at this, it's just so asinine. 

18

Holy crap people! I've lost 3 more pounds(I am seriously in total shock). Which means I am 2 pounds away from my first goal of "Lose 20 Pounds Before My Birthday".

So I have until Saturday to lose 2 more pounds.


It's so on.

Happy

Happy Birthday Steve Lekowicz!

Sorry, I just had to post this photo!

Also, in a very random topic change (or maybe not considering the photo), I have another pair of pants to add to the give-away pile. They have no belt loops and rolling the waistband has led to a day of "I'm fairly certain my pants are about to fall down while I'm walking" thoughts.

Not Zombie-like At All

I do not seem to be as tired today as I had predicted I would be. Which is weird since I was wide-awake at 3:30 am trying to figure out why my brain was racing and how the heck to shut it off. I have no idea how long I was awake, but it felt like forever.

I went for a walk at lunch (walk = 1 hour = 2.5 miles) which helped immensely. I feel much better after getting some exercise and out of the office. I say all this and then I will fall asleep on the couch tonight around 8!

Bruised

We finished filming today at 7 pm, which was only around 1/2 hour behind schedule. Pretty freaking amazing considering how many people were in some of the shots today.

My knees are all bruised from having to climb under a table over and over again. My shoulder hurts where I caught it on the lemonade stand yesterday while running around it for a scene.

But still, I feel pretty darn good. Tired as hell, but good.

The Boyfriend and I had some time to relax after everyone left. I called my parents, ate some dinner, took a shower and now I'm getting ready to curl up on the couch and watch a bit of tv before bed.

Tomorrow is going to be brutal. I'm sure I will be the walking dead at work.

Filming

I can't even begin to tell you how tired I am. Filming went really well today, even though we had A LOT to contend with. Beginning with insanely gusty winds, a neighbor suddenly moving out without any notice, and ending with a scene that could only be shot once due to the nature of the combat in it, there's no wonder why I am exhausted.

Episode 7 is going to be freaking insane. The Boyfriend and I keep talking about how we truely believe this will be our best episode ever.

Now I'm off to bed so that I can get some sleep before our shoot tomorrow.

Schedule

Everyone at work keeps saying things like "Happy Friday" to me and all I can think is "Oh Shit, it's Friday. I hope we have everything done for our shoot."

We are filming episode 7 all weekend, which means I will be a zombie on Monday morning. But that's okay, because next weekend is my birthday!

And the following weekend we have a photoshoot and The Boyfriend's Mom is coming to visit.

Oh great, I just made myself tired again thinking about how busy the rest of this month is going to be.

Ugh.

But, everything we are busy with will be fun, so now I feel bad that it's all weighing down on me a bit.

Maybe a nap will make me feel better?!

Dark

I freaking hate George Bush and all of his stupid ideas that are driving this country down the drain.

Why was Daylight Saving Time moved? I had a hard enough time getting up to run before it completely dark outside. Now it's nearly impossible. It's been almost a week since the time change and I still feel like the walking dead.

And, I just don't see how this is supposed to help save the environment, since I have to turn the same amount of lights on when I get up in the morning as I would have had on at night when it was dark at 6 pm.

Ugh, someone tell me how many more days until he is out of office.

It Finally Happened

So, Episode 6 of Life From the Inside is still rapidly climbing higher in numbers. We've been featured on YouTube and the front page of Revver. Which of course means we are getting more comments than before and not all of them are nice.


In fact, at least 2 of them are aimed right at me. At least 2 people have made it a point to comment on how fat I am. Which is my worst fear come true. When we first started working on our show I make it very clear I did not want people to be able to comment since I just knew something like this was going to happen. Yes, I am heavy. Yes, I look much heavier than the other 2 women on our show. And I know how the internet works. People like to be mean just for the sake of being mean.

But, the nature of having a show on the internet is that you need to let people interact with you. So, reluctantly, I acquiesced.

Here's the fun part. Right after we shot Episode 6, I weighed myself for the first time in several months (our scale had been broken for quite awhile, so I threw it out. I only weighed myself because we were house-sitting and they have a nice scale). And this is when I discovered I weighed 230 pounds. I cried. A lot. I freaked the hell out because the last time I had weighed myself I was 189 pounds. Yeah - needless to say, this realization depressed me. A lot.

So The Boyfriend and I embarked on the first part of the "Chez needs to lose a bunch of weight" adventure. And I lost 15 pounds by September! But by Thanksgiving, I gained back 5.

After Christmas, when I realized I just was not capable of doing this by myself, we were house-sitting again which means we were watching a lot of cable tv. Almost every commercial break included a commercial for Nutrisystem. I was intrigued. The Boyfriend and I talked it over and decided I should give it a shot. Even though this decision makes money very tight for us, he was 100% supportive.

It's been 2 months and I've lost 15 pounds (Yes another pound is gone!). Which means, in total, since we shot Episode 6 - I have lost 25 pounds. Just today, a co-worker called to tell me that when I walked by her office, she was astounded at how thin I look already.

So, even though my worst fear is coming true, I'm realizing that I just don't care. The world isn't ending because someone was mean to me online.

Here's how I'm dealing:

1. I am actually fat in that episode. Which means these morons are just pointing out the obvious.

2. I looked at the user profile of one of the jerks and he can't even spell the word "girlfriend" right. I am not going to let some useless, idiot, asshole (that can't spell) dictate to me how I feel about myself.

3. The Boyfriend (and our other producer Steve) were so disappointed that we are even getting these types of comments. Which makes me feel like it's not my job to be upset about them. I have other people doing that for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't like these comments at all, I just don't feel the need to freak out about them.

4. As The Boyfriend pointed out - "Think of it as practice. If we ever get famous, we'll have to deal with this kind of crap all the time."

5. I'm doing so well on Nutrisystem that it's inspired 2 friends of mine to give it a try. How can I feel bad after that?

6. My default setting is to freak out about these kinds of things. I feel like I have jumped a huge personal hurdle that I'm not crying, depressed, etc. over someone else's opinion of me.

Now here's where I pander for you to check out our show.

If this kind of stuff makes you mad, why don't you go to YouTube and leave a nice comment about our show? Or a good rating?

This is a link to the newest episode.