Now - Day 1

Just for fun, I'm going to try and write every day in June. The theme for this month is "Now" which is perfect for me as I like to write off of the top of my head and call it good.

It's the only way I can get myself to post, you see. I get terrible posting fright if I don't just write it and post it. If I save a draft, I tend to go back over and over it, finessing and fretting over what I'm trying to say and I end up never posting. My way around that is to just write, post and call it good. Which is also why I don't go back and re-read my stuff very often, I think I would be horrified.

So, today is a day of hating my clothes and hating my hair, which usually means I didn't run this morning. I can't tell you how many times I've told people things like "I've never regretted getting up to run and almost always regret it when I don't". I mean this with every single ounce of my being and yet, here we are, me feeling fat and mentally sluggish all day because I had a hard time falling asleep last night so I skipped my morning run.

But, on the plus side, I've dowloaded new running music (Lady Gaga, Fame Monster) which I love and makes running so much more enjoyable. Plus, I finally found some running clothes I like - I've given up running shorts for knee length running tights and I'm never looking back. No chaffing, no riding up, just perfection. Although, I do not understand why it's impossible to find women's running clothes with actual pockets in them.

I'm also "training" for a 10k. I found this training program online and even though I don't have a specific race in mind, I'm enjoying having a goal again.

Green-ening

I have pretty much recycled all of my life. I'm not saying this to brag, I just have, even when it was "unpopular" and people teased me about it.

I don't know why, actually. It's just something that's always resonated with me, that we need to keep our earth clean. I don't litter. I try not to be wasteful.

And as I've gotten older and being green has become more fashionable, I've thoroughly embraced it. I have cloth bags in my trunk that I use whenever shopping. I recycle even more, as much as I can. I try not to purchase things with tons of packaging, etc.

As of today, I will consume one less thing that comes in a plastic bottle.

It all started a week ago when I was reading something online about how the use of plastic rose greatly when everyone started using body wash. It got me to thinking about how, growing up, we always used Zest Bar Soap. And I switched to body wash in college or something when my skin suddenly got very dry.

But here's the thing, my skin is not that dry anymore. And bar soap is not what it used to be. So I realized, this would be a really easy switch for me, I would save money and help the environment.

So today, Thursday May 20th is the last day I will use body wash. I purchased some amazing smelling soap from Trader Joes on Monday (I'm not kidding, it's oatmeal and honey and it smells like you should be able to eat it) and I'm really looking forward to my shower tomorrow morning. My short shower, because I'm also into saving water! :)

Silence

I seem to have nothing nice to say, so I'm not saying anything.

Except I will say this, it's apparently that time of year where everyone decides they need to stick their nose into the fact that Robb and I aren't married. I'm finding it harder and harder to find polite ways to brush this off.

So, if you ask me about this anytime soon, I'm just going to apologize in advance because not only will I bite your head off, I will point out things about you I find to be lacking. I'm discovering turning the conversation around on people and asking pointed questions about their personal lives seems to be the best way to end the conversation.

That or walking away.

I'm really working on the walking away part. I have to fight the urge to explain myself to people, since everyone seems to think I'm some poor maiden waiting for the horrible person I'm dating to ask me to marry him.

I find this extraordinarily insulting. I know (most) people have the best of intentions, but I don't understand why my personal relationship is any of their business. I guess because I always feel the need to explain that marriage is not a goal of mine, which opens things up for more discussion.

This is just a big cycle of annoyingness.

I'm going back to my silence.

VZW

The main shoot for the new webshow is done. I can sum it up best by saying, I was awake for 25 1/2 hours on the last day. I hope I never have to experience that again, but really, I learned a ton I would have never learned otherwise.

Also, I am so indebted to the people who worked tirelessly beside me.

Now I just need to catch up on some sleep and get back into my exercise routine. I miss running.

Lunchtime Fun

I had the best lunch today, meeting up with Robb, Kathy and her baby Amelia was a great plan. It actually felt like we had tons of time to talk, no rushing around, plenty of things to chat about.

Amelia is so adorable and fun, I think the best part was watching the restaurant owner watch us play with Amelia. They also enjoyed how fun she was and how much we were enjoying getting to play with her. I love a lunch that leaves me with such good vibes. I need to do more of those.


Lunch was especially nice since I spent a good portion of the morning thinking about everything I've done wrong recently. I seem to be quite good at beating myself up over things and it was so wonderful to be forced out of my head and into the present, it really takes the air out of any bad moods I was entertaining.

I'm working hard at balancing work/life stuff and today was a nice mix of that. I relish these moments with friends and strive to have more of them.

No Day Like Today

You know how some people say that what you eat affects your moods more than you know?

Well today I completely agree with them.

I have alternated between feeling so stressed I want to scream and so disappointed/angry I want to cry. I somewhat blame the candy I ate yesterday for feeling so off-kilter.

I really hate it when I'm disappointed in someone. There's nothing I can do to fix it, nothing I can say to make things better. And the frusteration of it all is not helping the stress.

See, I'm in the midst of bringing a new webshow to life. And to say I'm stressed would be an understatement.

I know it will all come together. I know it will. I just have to make it through the not fun parts to see it happen.

In the meantime, I'm reminding myself to take good care of me. To get lots of exercise, lots of sleep and as much face time with The Boyfriend as I can, all things that always make life better.

Lists updated again

It's been a long week, so to relax, I'm adding more to my list.

1. Run a 5k
2. Get a new webshow online
3. Run a 10k
4. Learn how to knit for real not just the very basic stuff I know
5. Live in another country for at least 3 months
6. Get lots of stamps on my passport
7. Take singing lessons again
8. Own a house
9. Run a Half Marathon
10. Run the LA Marathon
11. Learn how to use Photoshop
12. Roadtrip to the East Coast
13. Be my own boss (aka not have a "day job")
14. Learn to scuba dive
15. Go on one of those huge ziplines
16. Own a wardrobe I love, no matter what the size
17. Know 5 recipes I can cook off the top of my head.
18. Plant a garden
19. Get a team together for a "Mud Run".
20. Leave a $100 tip
21. Write a song (you would think this one wouldn't be hard,
considering who my significant other is, but you would be wrong)
22. Have 3 karaoke songs that I know by heart and I'm not afraid to
perform at any time
23. Host a dinner party
24. Brew my own beer
25. Stay a night on the Queen Mary
26. Truly surprise Robb with a present (I'm so bad at this, I get
too excited and give up my game before I can surprise him)
27. Take part in a political protest
28. Take an outdoor survival class
29. Re-upholster a chair.
30. See the Northern Lights

Ralph

As someone who is prone to overthinking, I find this quote very useful, so I thought I would share. Also, I need it here as a reminder to myself:

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tea, Please

Hugh Jackman + Lipton = WIN!

Life List - update 1

So, as of Super Bowl Sunday, I can cross #1 off of this list. And something this summer, I will be able to cross off #2.

I'm adding a few more as well, some I'm borrowing from other Life Lists I've read. It's so fun to see what other people have on their lists, especially right now as I feel like I haven't done anything and I'm frusterated that I don't have the money to travel like I want, when I read other people's Life Lists and I see that I've done quite a bit of what they want to do, I remember that my life isn't as boring as I think it is.

And I remember to be greatful for the experiences I've had.


1. Run a 5k
2. Get a new webshow online
3. Run a 10k
4. Learn how to knit for real not just the very basic stuff I know
5. Live in another country for at least 3 months
6. Travel to Wales, UK, Germany, Brussels, Italy, Greece and a whole
crapload of other places
7. Take singing lessons again
8. Own a house
9. Run a Half Marathon
10. Run the LA Marathon
11. Learn how to use Photoshop
12. Roadtrip to the East Coast
13. Be my own boss (aka not have a "day job")
14. Learn to scuba dive
15. Go on one of those huge ziplines
16. Own a wardrobe I love, no matter what the size
17. Know 5 recipes I can cook off the top of my head.
18. Plant a garden
19. Get a team together for a "Mud Run".
20. Leave a $100 tip
21. Write a song (you would think this one wouldn't be hard,
considering who my significant other is, but you would be wrong)
22. Have 3 karaoke songs that I know by heart and I'm not afraid to
perform at any time

Cross 1 Off The List

Here is a photo of me crossing the finish line for my first 5k. My time was decent (38 minutes) especially since I'd had a horrible cold leading up to this run.
It was a great first race experience as Robb and I were running with friends who had participated in the same race for several years. I can't wait to do it again next year, especially now that I know you get 2 free beers if you finish the race! Yay Super Bowl Sunday!
The best part is that I now have a bar set and a time to beat for my next 5k. I have my eye on one in April, but things are crazy busy around here through May, so we'll see how it goes...
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Valentine Shmalentine

I think I write about this every single year, but I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day.

It's not that I am in a relationship with some horribly unromantic person, it's not that I'm bitter or that the jewelry store commercials make me want to stab someone. It's that I think it's sad we as a society have to have 1 day FORCED on us to make us show the people we love how much we love them.

I know I'm lucky in that Robb is quite good at doing very sweet things for me throughout the year and I make sure I do the same. Because we believe that that's what makes a good relationship, couples that don't hold back on expressing how they feel until Hallmark tells them when it's right to do so. Nothing makes me happier than when I come home from work to discover Robb has made dinner, has music playing and lit candles on the table. Small gesture, I know and yet it touches me more than any present. Because he did it for me. And I usually have no idea it's coming, just a surprise for when I walk through the door.

And yes, we still celebrate Valentine's day in our own way. For the past several years we've made each other cards and had a nice dinner at home (don't even get me started on going out to dinner on this day). This year we're in the midst of trying to get a new online show up and running plus we're housesitting, so we might go out to breakfast or something. Or not do anything at all. I don't care.

Although honestly, my idea of the perfect Valentine's Day right now just means a day in which I get to take a very long nap.

But, every year, I wonder if maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm missing some sort of "girly gene" that makes it so I crave diamonds and chocolates. And then I realize, the stupid commercials sort of work and I get angry all over again. Because I don't crave diamonds. I don't want chocolate (I'm perpetually trying to lose weight). I don't need a card to know you love me.

Resolutions (for a lifetime)

I try not to make New Year's resolutions since I never stick to them and I find them silly.
But, I've been reading a lot of people's "Life Lists" and such and I thought it would be fun if I started one here. This will be a work in progress.

In no particular order:

1. Run a 5k
2. Get a new webshow online
3. Run a 10k
4. Learn how to knit for real not just the very basic stuff I know
5. Live in another country for at least 3 months
6. Travel to Wales, UK, Germany, Brussels, Italy, Greece and a whole
crapload of other places
7. Take singing lessons again
8. Own a house
9. Run a Half Marathon
10. Run the LA Marathon
11. Learn how to use Photoshop
12. Roadtrip to the East Coast
13. Be my own boss (aka not have a "day job")
14. Learn to scuba dive
15. Go on one of those huge ziplines

That's all I can think of off the top of my head right now. I will update this more tomorrow.

Calphalon

Over the past few years, Robb and I have been purchasing new pans as we've needed them. We've been so happy with the Calphalon Kitchen Essentials line from Target - we've purchased 3 different sized pans from there and use at least one of them every single day.

But, over the past few months we've noticed 2 of our pans (8 inch omelet pan and 12 inch skillet) have been increasingly difficult to use. So, we started looking at replacing them and discovered that Calphalon has redesigned the Kitchen Essentials line.

In my research, I discovered that Calphalon has a 10 year warranty on their pans and if you mail back your pans with a letter explaining what's wrong with them and the pans are found defective, they will mail you brand new replacements. So, a couple of weeks ago, I boxed up our pans, wrote a simple note explaining what went wrong and mailed them off.

Yesterday, when I came home from work Robb discovered 2 boxes outside of our front door. One of those was from Calphalon! And inside we found 2 new pans. We are a little sad to discover that they are the newly redesigned ones that we don't like as much, but new pans are new pans, we're happy either way.

Now, we need to start shopping for new pots as ours are my set from college and they are desperately in need of replacement. And you can bet that we will be purchasing them from Calphalon!

*I promise I was not compensated for this, I just wanted to write about good customer service!

I heart George

This has been keeping me entertained for the past few minutes.  I love an actor that doesn't take himself seriously...

Weighty Matters

Hey look! It's not November and I'm still posting. Go me!

I had my yearly physical in late October, wherein I proceeded to get my yearly lecture from my doctor about my cholesterol levels. I have them checked yet again and to my horror, they are higher than ever before. Basically, I've got roughly 5 months to get them down or I'm going to have to go on cholesterol medication. And my doctor knows this is absolutely the last thing I want.

Robb has been the best about this - we're exercising more, cooking at home more and he checks everything to make sure it's good for me and my cholesterol lowering mission. Of course, the number one way to lower cholesterol is to lose weight, so that is another thing I'm working on.

I've also started taking these pills called "CholestOff" that a co-worker recommended. I did research on them and figured it was worth a try.

But, in the end, the biggest thing I need to do is lose weight.

So. Frusterating. I'm so over this battle. Over looking at photos and being disappointed in how I look. Over myself for letting this happen, for gaining so much weight and not doing something about it when I had the chance.

And mostly I'm worried that it's something I can't fix no matter how hard I try.

NaBloPoMo Day 30

The end! I made it! Even though my posts have pretty much sucked this month, I still did it!

So Robb called the bank today and we have a claim number. All I know is that they had better get this deposit stuff straightened out soon or I will be calling Chase and having a very loud conversation with their customer service. This is the first time something like this has happened to me with them as my bank and I expect to be overwhelmed by their customer service. So far, I'm not.

Come on Chase, impress me! Don't make me start looking for a new bank again.

I hate the first day back at work after a long weekend. I feel like my brain is molasses. Although I have learned that Mondays at lunch are one of the best days to go to Trader Joe's to get some grocery shopping done. I run there, stop at home to drop off groceries and return to work with plenty of time to spare. I love it.

And today I even found Pfeffernusse cookies for Robb. He loves them so much and they are getting hard to find. After he spent all morning getting LFTI Episode 9 Part 1 online, I figured he needed a treat.

I've been trying to do "meatless" days as a way to work on lowering my cholesterol. It's been a fun way to find new things to eat. Today I nabbed a "Spicy Lentil Wrap" from Trader Joe's and I am so full still, they're not kidding around when they call something spicy. I love it.

Also, I have recently discovered a love for Brussel Sprouts. Tonight we're trying them with olive oil, garlic salt and roasting them. Yummy!

NaBloPoMo Day 29

Last day of vacation before returning to work. Robb has a bunch of work to do today, getting our latest episode all ready for launching, so I've busied myself with vacuuming/mopping and general hanging around enjoying our last day of freedom together.

We walked to the bank tonight, after Robb went for a walk around the park and I did 30 Day Shred (in an attempt to ward off some of the stupid weight I'm sure I gained this weekend). As soon as we got there I knew we should have turned around and went home, but we didn't. Turns out our bank has finally switched to the "no deposit envelopes or slips" method of depositing to an ATM. I figured it was worth trying, but now I know it will be all "walk in and deposit with a teller" for me from now on.

We get to the part where we're supposed to deposit the checks, I put them in the machine and suddenly the ATM loses power as do a few lights around us. I totally freaked out. We call the 800 number posted next to the ATM and speak to a unhelpful "phone banker" who keeps us on the line just long enough to inform us that there's nothing she can do. She gives us Customer Claim number to call and oh sorry, they closed 5 minutes ago. The whole thing had me so pissed off and freaking out as one of the checks we deposited was from Robb's freelance job and it was no small check for us.

UGH! I hate it when this type of crap happens, when I don't listen to my inner critic, things go wrong and then I am doubly mad because I should have known.

Now this had better not keep me up tonight. It's Sunday night and I already have a hard time getting to sleep without being stressed out about money things.

NaBloPoMo Day 28

I'm writing this from my Blackberry as Robb and Zoe are finishing up color correcting LFTI's episode 9, so the computer is all tied up. This is why I need a laptop!

And I'm getting one! As soon as I can get to the Apple store and check out the different sizes as a final check, I've already got everything else decided on what I want. Yay! I can't tell you how excited I am about getting a MacBook Pro! Robb and I have already decided that this will be our Christmas present to each other, the way our camera was last year.

Okay, I'm being told I have to decide where we're going for lunch, so I'm off!

NaBloPoMo Day 27

Happy Day After Thanksgiving!

We have successfully done nothing today. I haven't been bored or tried to get anything done, it's been pretty wonderful. We even took a super long nap. And we just got back from an hour and a half walk at the park, which was totally necessary since we've also been eating leftovers all day.

Usually this type of day leaves me feeling guilty for not getting anything done, but I've been trying to work on really relaxing and being in the moment on days when I truly have nothing to do and nothing I have to accomplish. This is very hard for me but it's something I've needed to work on for awhile now, for my own sanity. I usually spend the day worrying about everything that needs to get done and always tell myself I will relax "right after I do this" but I never do. I always find something else that also needs to get done and the cycle continues until the day is done and I'm still tired.

But again, I'm working on it. And today has been a good day.