I freaking hate George Bush and all of his stupid ideas that are driving this country down the drain.
Why was Daylight Saving Time moved? I had a hard enough time getting up to run before it completely dark outside. Now it's nearly impossible. It's been almost a week since the time change and I still feel like the walking dead.
And, I just don't see how this is supposed to help save the environment, since I have to turn the same amount of lights on when I get up in the morning as I would have had on at night when it was dark at 6 pm.
Ugh, someone tell me how many more days until he is out of office.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
It Finally Happened
So, Episode 6 of Life From the Inside is still rapidly climbing higher in numbers. We've been featured on YouTube and the front page of Revver. Which of course means we are getting more comments than before and not all of them are nice.
In fact, at least 2 of them are aimed right at me. At least 2 people have made it a point to comment on how fat I am. Which is my worst fear come true. When we first started working on our show I make it very clear I did not want people to be able to comment since I just knew something like this was going to happen. Yes, I am heavy. Yes, I look much heavier than the other 2 women on our show. And I know how the internet works. People like to be mean just for the sake of being mean.
But, the nature of having a show on the internet is that you need to let people interact with you. So, reluctantly, I acquiesced.
Here's the fun part. Right after we shot Episode 6, I weighed myself for the first time in several months (our scale had been broken for quite awhile, so I threw it out. I only weighed myself because we were house-sitting and they have a nice scale). And this is when I discovered I weighed 230 pounds. I cried. A lot. I freaked the hell out because the last time I had weighed myself I was 189 pounds. Yeah - needless to say, this realization depressed me. A lot.
So The Boyfriend and I embarked on the first part of the "Chez needs to lose a bunch of weight" adventure. And I lost 15 pounds by September! But by Thanksgiving, I gained back 5.
After Christmas, when I realized I just was not capable of doing this by myself, we were house-sitting again which means we were watching a lot of cable tv. Almost every commercial break included a commercial for Nutrisystem. I was intrigued. The Boyfriend and I talked it over and decided I should give it a shot. Even though this decision makes money very tight for us, he was 100% supportive.
It's been 2 months and I've lost 15 pounds (Yes another pound is gone!). Which means, in total, since we shot Episode 6 - I have lost 25 pounds. Just today, a co-worker called to tell me that when I walked by her office, she was astounded at how thin I look already.
So, even though my worst fear is coming true, I'm realizing that I just don't care. The world isn't ending because someone was mean to me online.
Here's how I'm dealing:
1. I am actually fat in that episode. Which means these morons are just pointing out the obvious.
2. I looked at the user profile of one of the jerks and he can't even spell the word "girlfriend" right. I am not going to let some useless, idiot, asshole (that can't spell) dictate to me how I feel about myself.
3. The Boyfriend (and our other producer Steve) were so disappointed that we are even getting these types of comments. Which makes me feel like it's not my job to be upset about them. I have other people doing that for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't like these comments at all, I just don't feel the need to freak out about them.
4. As The Boyfriend pointed out - "Think of it as practice. If we ever get famous, we'll have to deal with this kind of crap all the time."
5. I'm doing so well on Nutrisystem that it's inspired 2 friends of mine to give it a try. How can I feel bad after that?
6. My default setting is to freak out about these kinds of things. I feel like I have jumped a huge personal hurdle that I'm not crying, depressed, etc. over someone else's opinion of me.
Now here's where I pander for you to check out our show.
If this kind of stuff makes you mad, why don't you go to YouTube and leave a nice comment about our show? Or a good rating?
This is a link to the newest episode.
In fact, at least 2 of them are aimed right at me. At least 2 people have made it a point to comment on how fat I am. Which is my worst fear come true. When we first started working on our show I make it very clear I did not want people to be able to comment since I just knew something like this was going to happen. Yes, I am heavy. Yes, I look much heavier than the other 2 women on our show. And I know how the internet works. People like to be mean just for the sake of being mean.
But, the nature of having a show on the internet is that you need to let people interact with you. So, reluctantly, I acquiesced.
Here's the fun part. Right after we shot Episode 6, I weighed myself for the first time in several months (our scale had been broken for quite awhile, so I threw it out. I only weighed myself because we were house-sitting and they have a nice scale). And this is when I discovered I weighed 230 pounds. I cried. A lot. I freaked the hell out because the last time I had weighed myself I was 189 pounds. Yeah - needless to say, this realization depressed me. A lot.
So The Boyfriend and I embarked on the first part of the "Chez needs to lose a bunch of weight" adventure. And I lost 15 pounds by September! But by Thanksgiving, I gained back 5.
After Christmas, when I realized I just was not capable of doing this by myself, we were house-sitting again which means we were watching a lot of cable tv. Almost every commercial break included a commercial for Nutrisystem. I was intrigued. The Boyfriend and I talked it over and decided I should give it a shot. Even though this decision makes money very tight for us, he was 100% supportive.
It's been 2 months and I've lost 15 pounds (Yes another pound is gone!). Which means, in total, since we shot Episode 6 - I have lost 25 pounds. Just today, a co-worker called to tell me that when I walked by her office, she was astounded at how thin I look already.
So, even though my worst fear is coming true, I'm realizing that I just don't care. The world isn't ending because someone was mean to me online.
Here's how I'm dealing:
1. I am actually fat in that episode. Which means these morons are just pointing out the obvious.
2. I looked at the user profile of one of the jerks and he can't even spell the word "girlfriend" right. I am not going to let some useless, idiot, asshole (that can't spell) dictate to me how I feel about myself.
3. The Boyfriend (and our other producer Steve) were so disappointed that we are even getting these types of comments. Which makes me feel like it's not my job to be upset about them. I have other people doing that for me. Don't get me wrong, I don't like these comments at all, I just don't feel the need to freak out about them.
4. As The Boyfriend pointed out - "Think of it as practice. If we ever get famous, we'll have to deal with this kind of crap all the time."
5. I'm doing so well on Nutrisystem that it's inspired 2 friends of mine to give it a try. How can I feel bad after that?
6. My default setting is to freak out about these kinds of things. I feel like I have jumped a huge personal hurdle that I'm not crying, depressed, etc. over someone else's opinion of me.
Now here's where I pander for you to check out our show.
If this kind of stuff makes you mad, why don't you go to YouTube and leave a nice comment about our show? Or a good rating?
This is a link to the newest episode.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
A List About Me
Things I Am Loving Right Now:
1. Episode 6 (Part 1) of Life From the Inside is being featured on YouTube AND Revver right now. And our viewer numbers are through the roof. It's nice to know people are watching! And taking notice - our subscriber numbers are also on the rise.
2. I ran this morning AND walked at lunch. I've burned over 700 calories in exercise today. Hell ya.
3. The Boyfriend is being exceptionally supportive through my whole weight loss/trying to run faster adventure. His new nickname for me is "skinny" and he's very quick to talk me up when I get all down on myself for not running faster/better. Seriously, he rules the "Supportive Boyfriend" role.
4. It's almost by Birthday!
5. I bought a flat-iron and tried it out for the first time last night. It rules. My hair was straight and shiny and I spent the rest of the evening annoying The Boyfriend by making him constantly feel how soft my hair was.
Things That Are Totally Bumming Me Out Right Now:
1. I found out yesterday that a former co-worker of my Dad's is in the hospital and not expected to ever get better. This really hit me harder than I expected since I haven't seen Clayton in so many years it's crazy to even try and figure it out. This guy was one of the nicest people to me whenever my Dad would bring me to the office with him. He would always chat with me about my life, joke around with me and my Dad, Always bought Girl Scout cookies from me, tease me about how I should be in sales like my Dad, etc. Just generally a cool guy that was always fun to talk to and never treated me like an annoyance when I was little and using all of their pads of paper to "draw on".
So, here's to you Clayton. I really hope you are not in any pain and if this is the end, may you go peacefully.
2. Bills/Money stuff. We don't have enough. 'Nuff said.
3. I still have a day job.
4. My friend Rachel is seriously coming up on her due date and I haven't seen her since Christmas. I am a bad friend.
5. Another friend of mine is moving away. I hope he finds what he's looking for, 'cause I'm sad to see him go.
1. Episode 6 (Part 1) of Life From the Inside is being featured on YouTube AND Revver right now. And our viewer numbers are through the roof. It's nice to know people are watching! And taking notice - our subscriber numbers are also on the rise.
2. I ran this morning AND walked at lunch. I've burned over 700 calories in exercise today. Hell ya.
3. The Boyfriend is being exceptionally supportive through my whole weight loss/trying to run faster adventure. His new nickname for me is "skinny" and he's very quick to talk me up when I get all down on myself for not running faster/better. Seriously, he rules the "Supportive Boyfriend" role.
4. It's almost by Birthday!
5. I bought a flat-iron and tried it out for the first time last night. It rules. My hair was straight and shiny and I spent the rest of the evening annoying The Boyfriend by making him constantly feel how soft my hair was.
Things That Are Totally Bumming Me Out Right Now:
1. I found out yesterday that a former co-worker of my Dad's is in the hospital and not expected to ever get better. This really hit me harder than I expected since I haven't seen Clayton in so many years it's crazy to even try and figure it out. This guy was one of the nicest people to me whenever my Dad would bring me to the office with him. He would always chat with me about my life, joke around with me and my Dad, Always bought Girl Scout cookies from me, tease me about how I should be in sales like my Dad, etc. Just generally a cool guy that was always fun to talk to and never treated me like an annoyance when I was little and using all of their pads of paper to "draw on".
So, here's to you Clayton. I really hope you are not in any pain and if this is the end, may you go peacefully.
2. Bills/Money stuff. We don't have enough. 'Nuff said.
3. I still have a day job.
4. My friend Rachel is seriously coming up on her due date and I haven't seen her since Christmas. I am a bad friend.
5. Another friend of mine is moving away. I hope he finds what he's looking for, 'cause I'm sad to see him go.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Monday
I hate daylight saving time. There, I said it.
Now it's even harder to get up to run in the morning and when I leave work at night I feel like it's not time to eat dinner since it's still light out.
At least work flew by today. I hate feeling like a zombie while at work since then I worry that I'm forgetting something or I'm doing something wrong since I can barely concentrate.
We have no plans tonight, other than watching tv and hanging out at home. I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm looking forward to it.
Now it's even harder to get up to run in the morning and when I leave work at night I feel like it's not time to eat dinner since it's still light out.
At least work flew by today. I hate feeling like a zombie while at work since then I worry that I'm forgetting something or I'm doing something wrong since I can barely concentrate.
We have no plans tonight, other than watching tv and hanging out at home. I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm looking forward to it.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Shoot
Our first shoot in a long time has ended and even though it was a long day, it was definitely a good one.
Of course there were some things that went wrong but we had a lot of fun and we shot some good stuff, so it was most definitely a good day.
I'm so freaking tired right now. I can't believe I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.
Of course there were some things that went wrong but we had a lot of fun and we shot some good stuff, so it was most definitely a good day.
I'm so freaking tired right now. I can't believe I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Stress
Today has been a bit stressful, we are trying to get ready for our first shoot in 6 months. The Boyfriend and I spent the morning running all over picking up a light kit from a friend and going to 3 different stores to get all the food/props we need.
Then we spent a good portion of the afternoon cleaning the apartment and finalizing props.
The worst thing is, we are having a rash of things breaking around here. Now I can add my sewing machine to the list. Ugh. I'm beginning to think the new tv we bought is cursed and it's causing everything else in our apartment to break.
So anyway, we have had a busy day and tomorrow we are shooting all day, so there is no relaxing in sight for this weekend.
Then we spent a good portion of the afternoon cleaning the apartment and finalizing props.
The worst thing is, we are having a rash of things breaking around here. Now I can add my sewing machine to the list. Ugh. I'm beginning to think the new tv we bought is cursed and it's causing everything else in our apartment to break.
So anyway, we have had a busy day and tomorrow we are shooting all day, so there is no relaxing in sight for this weekend.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Things
Things that are Broken in My Apartment:
1. The Vacuum Cleaner
2. The Couch
3. A DVD Player (since replaced, but I am saving the broken one to be e-recycled)
4. Our front window, in that it sucks to open/close, not that the actual glass is broken.
5. Probably the Microwave, if our streak continues.
Movies I am Seeing Tonight:
1. Cloverfield
2. Potentially "The Tudors" if The Boyfriend and I feel like staying up late. I know it's not a movie but I'm watching it on DVD, so it counts.
Cool Things About Today:
1. I got to have lunch with 2 friends I used to work with. I miss them terribly.
2. I get to see Cloverfield for free!
3. I've lost another pound! Grant total = 14 pounds lost. I don't care where they went.
1. The Vacuum Cleaner
2. The Couch
3. A DVD Player (since replaced, but I am saving the broken one to be e-recycled)
4. Our front window, in that it sucks to open/close, not that the actual glass is broken.
5. Probably the Microwave, if our streak continues.
Movies I am Seeing Tonight:
1. Cloverfield
2. Potentially "The Tudors" if The Boyfriend and I feel like staying up late. I know it's not a movie but I'm watching it on DVD, so it counts.
Cool Things About Today:
1. I got to have lunch with 2 friends I used to work with. I miss them terribly.
2. I get to see Cloverfield for free!
3. I've lost another pound! Grant total = 14 pounds lost. I don't care where they went.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Quote
"May happiness pursue you,
catch you often, and,
should it lose you,
be waiting ahead,
making a clearing for you."
- A.R. Ammons
I've had this quote on my desk for quite awhile now. I enjoy it every single time I read it.
catch you often, and,
should it lose you,
be waiting ahead,
making a clearing for you."
- A.R. Ammons
I've had this quote on my desk for quite awhile now. I enjoy it every single time I read it.
Sad
I keep reading about Patrick Swayze being diagnosed with cancer which is making me so sad. Say what you want about the dude, he was cool.
I have been a huge fan of his since Dirty Dancing (of course) and I hope that the diagnosis isn't as horrible as everyone is making it out to be.
Have you seen this video? A couple staged the famous last dance of Dirty Dancing as their first wedding dance. It was huge on YouTube, so Oprah brought them on the show and Mr. Swayze showed up to surprise them. Give it a watch, it's good fun.
On a completely different note, last night's American Idol was kind of boring. I still love me some Chikezie though. He was great. My predictions are for Danny Noriega and David Hernandez to go home.
I have no idea what to watch tonight. I want to watch the women perform on American Idol, but it's the makeover show on America's Next Top Model and that is seriously the best episode they do.
I love watching the people freak when they get all of their hair cut off.
I have been a huge fan of his since Dirty Dancing (of course) and I hope that the diagnosis isn't as horrible as everyone is making it out to be.
Have you seen this video? A couple staged the famous last dance of Dirty Dancing as their first wedding dance. It was huge on YouTube, so Oprah brought them on the show and Mr. Swayze showed up to surprise them. Give it a watch, it's good fun.
On a completely different note, last night's American Idol was kind of boring. I still love me some Chikezie though. He was great. My predictions are for Danny Noriega and David Hernandez to go home.
I have no idea what to watch tonight. I want to watch the women perform on American Idol, but it's the makeover show on America's Next Top Model and that is seriously the best episode they do.
I love watching the people freak when they get all of their hair cut off.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Oh Stop It
I had the same conversation twice yesterday, with different people. Here is a list of several things the conversation made me realize:
1. I'm not good at taking compliments. This is something I intend to work on, just saying "Thank You" and not feeling like I need to explain myself any further.
2. I have a pretty awesome group of people that are so completely supportive of my weight loss journey. I need to recognize that more. And not be embarassed when they tell me something supportive.
3. I don't really know why this is finally working for me weight-loss wise. But it is and that's why it's so easy to stick to.
4. I need to not brush off what exactly I am accomplishing. It's very easy for me to act like this weight loss is no big deal. But it is. I am working hard at it and I should allow myself to acknowledge that yes, there are days that I really want just sit down and eat 1/2 of a Costco Pepperoni Pizza. But it won't help whatever I'm dealing with that day. And I will feel so gross afterwards it's just not worth it.
5. I'm realizing just how much I don't miss "normal" food. Yes, I miss the Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins The Boyfriend and I used to make on the weekends. But they will still be there when I reach my goal weight.
Okay, so both conversations I had yesterday entailed friends telling me how proud they were of me and how they were so impressed with the willpower I must have to stick to this diet so well. The funny thing is, I don't feel like I have any willpower at all. I eat the food I'm supposed to eat and I lose weight. The fact that I'm losing makes it so easy to stick to.
What has helped with this is that we have attended several functions where I have allowed myself to eat real food. And I did horribly! I ate everything in sight until I felt physically ill.
So, I personally know I have a lot to work on as far as what happens when I hit my goal weight and I start eating real food again. But that's quite a ways away and I don't feel much pressure to worry about that just yet (although I've definitely given it some thought). Which is part of the reason that I tend to brush off the compliments I have received.
It's hard to deal with the compliments because I am not even 1/2 way to my goal yet. I'm not even 1/4 of the way there, but I'm close. I feel like if I listen to the compliments too closely I will backtrack somehow.
But I'm working on that.
1. I'm not good at taking compliments. This is something I intend to work on, just saying "Thank You" and not feeling like I need to explain myself any further.
2. I have a pretty awesome group of people that are so completely supportive of my weight loss journey. I need to recognize that more. And not be embarassed when they tell me something supportive.
3. I don't really know why this is finally working for me weight-loss wise. But it is and that's why it's so easy to stick to.
4. I need to not brush off what exactly I am accomplishing. It's very easy for me to act like this weight loss is no big deal. But it is. I am working hard at it and I should allow myself to acknowledge that yes, there are days that I really want just sit down and eat 1/2 of a Costco Pepperoni Pizza. But it won't help whatever I'm dealing with that day. And I will feel so gross afterwards it's just not worth it.
5. I'm realizing just how much I don't miss "normal" food. Yes, I miss the Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins The Boyfriend and I used to make on the weekends. But they will still be there when I reach my goal weight.
Okay, so both conversations I had yesterday entailed friends telling me how proud they were of me and how they were so impressed with the willpower I must have to stick to this diet so well. The funny thing is, I don't feel like I have any willpower at all. I eat the food I'm supposed to eat and I lose weight. The fact that I'm losing makes it so easy to stick to.
What has helped with this is that we have attended several functions where I have allowed myself to eat real food. And I did horribly! I ate everything in sight until I felt physically ill.
So, I personally know I have a lot to work on as far as what happens when I hit my goal weight and I start eating real food again. But that's quite a ways away and I don't feel much pressure to worry about that just yet (although I've definitely given it some thought). Which is part of the reason that I tend to brush off the compliments I have received.
It's hard to deal with the compliments because I am not even 1/2 way to my goal yet. I'm not even 1/4 of the way there, but I'm close. I feel like if I listen to the compliments too closely I will backtrack somehow.
But I'm working on that.
Monday, March 03, 2008
A Real List
Things I Have Thought to Myself Today:
1. Why do things always break around my birthday? (Several years ago my birthday present was a new TV and it looks like this year it's going to be a new couch as ours has decided to shed it's mortal coil no matter how many times The Boyfriend tries to fix it.) Things that break suck.
2. Maybe I should go ahead and cut off all of my hair.
3. I think I really like my hair long.
4. I should grow out my bangs. I don't love them.
5. I really need new pants. I don't think rolling the waist is that great of a look for me at work.
6. Why the hell am I so tired today?
7. I've had 3 cups of coffee, why am I still so tired?
8. Maybe I should paint my toenails. That might make me feel better.
9. I would really like a nap.
10. Is it really that hard to find a cheap purple wig?
1. Why do things always break around my birthday? (Several years ago my birthday present was a new TV and it looks like this year it's going to be a new couch as ours has decided to shed it's mortal coil no matter how many times The Boyfriend tries to fix it.) Things that break suck.
2. Maybe I should go ahead and cut off all of my hair.
3. I think I really like my hair long.
4. I should grow out my bangs. I don't love them.
5. I really need new pants. I don't think rolling the waist is that great of a look for me at work.
6. Why the hell am I so tired today?
7. I've had 3 cups of coffee, why am I still so tired?
8. Maybe I should paint my toenails. That might make me feel better.
9. I would really like a nap.
10. Is it really that hard to find a cheap purple wig?
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Hike
Today was the rescheduled hike for Kathy's birthday - we hiked to Eagle Rock which was awesome. Last year some of us did the same hike for Kathy's birthday and it was the worst hiking experience for me ever.
Luckily, this year totally made up for it. It's amazing what a year can do hiking experience wise. It was so hot and I was so out of shape last year that I barely remember the hike, except for the end of it where I fell and scraped up by knee's and elbow really bad. I still have scars from it.
But this year, this year the hike was amazing! I had such a great time and was at the front of the pack almost the whole way. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The weather was amazing, the views were spectacular and the company was top notch. It was a great way to spend a Sunday.
Happy Late Birthday Kathy!!
Luckily, this year totally made up for it. It's amazing what a year can do hiking experience wise. It was so hot and I was so out of shape last year that I barely remember the hike, except for the end of it where I fell and scraped up by knee's and elbow really bad. I still have scars from it.
But this year, this year the hike was amazing! I had such a great time and was at the front of the pack almost the whole way. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The weather was amazing, the views were spectacular and the company was top notch. It was a great way to spend a Sunday.
Happy Late Birthday Kathy!!
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Free Day
Not much going on around here. The Boyfriend and I spent most of today hanging out and watching movies.
We went to Costco on Friday and The Boyfriend picked up a special edition of West Side Story. I've never seen someone so excited to find a movie on DVD. We had purchased this special edition before, but when we got it home the DVD's were broken, so he's been searching for it ever since.
I wish I liked this movie more. I mean, I like it fine, but I always find myself bored in the middle of it. I realize that it was ground-breaking for the time and the music is amazing, but still.
Which is funny since at lunch on Friday I had a friend tell me she wouldn't be my Netflix friend because she was afraid that I would laugh at the movies she had in her queue. What this poor friend doesn't realize is that The Boyfriend is the one who watches all of the classic movies and I'm the person who makes us watch terrible horror movies because I like them in some sort of sick way.
I blame having older brothers. It's the reason I love action movies so much. And sports movies. And Aerosmith.
Friday, February 29, 2008
A Practice List
I signed up to do NaBloPoMo in March and the theme is lists - so I thought I would start a day early to get some practice in.
1. I have officially lost 13 pounds and have had to literally cinch my belt! Life is awesome.
2. I have 7 pounds to lose before March 22 to hit my first big goal of losing 20 pounds before my birthday.
3. If I do this, I get a cookie.
4. Okay, I will probably have cake instead of a cookie. And some taquitos.
5. There are days that I fear working in an office is sucking all of my soul away. I'm not really kidding.
6. The Boyfriend and I have had either rehearsals or production meetings every night this week. Tonight is our first night off and we absolutely have to go grocery shopping. So, I think tomorrow will be the official "I am not leaving the apartment except to go running" day. Everyone celebrate!
7. I'm sorry (somewhat) for turning this in to a weight loss blog, without really recording how I dealing with everything. My goal for March is to really take a look at the changes I am going through with this whole process. Not necessarily because I expect people to read it with interest, but because I want to remember what this was like so that I'm never faced with the problem of losing 80 pounds again.
8. There are days where I am horrified at what I have done to myself. I should be at a time in my life where I am comfortable in my own skin (this is something I definitely want to write more about) and yet, I am not, because I do not like what is contained within that skin. Losing the weight is definitely helping. I hope to someday make it back to the person who was gloriously unware of what she looked like. Especially while acting.
9. Today has been the longest day ever. Clock, I would just like to get home to hang with The Boyfriend? Why do you have to insist on moving so slowly?
1. I have officially lost 13 pounds and have had to literally cinch my belt! Life is awesome.
2. I have 7 pounds to lose before March 22 to hit my first big goal of losing 20 pounds before my birthday.
3. If I do this, I get a cookie.
4. Okay, I will probably have cake instead of a cookie. And some taquitos.
5. There are days that I fear working in an office is sucking all of my soul away. I'm not really kidding.
6. The Boyfriend and I have had either rehearsals or production meetings every night this week. Tonight is our first night off and we absolutely have to go grocery shopping. So, I think tomorrow will be the official "I am not leaving the apartment except to go running" day. Everyone celebrate!
7. I'm sorry (somewhat) for turning this in to a weight loss blog, without really recording how I dealing with everything. My goal for March is to really take a look at the changes I am going through with this whole process. Not necessarily because I expect people to read it with interest, but because I want to remember what this was like so that I'm never faced with the problem of losing 80 pounds again.
8. There are days where I am horrified at what I have done to myself. I should be at a time in my life where I am comfortable in my own skin (this is something I definitely want to write more about) and yet, I am not, because I do not like what is contained within that skin. Losing the weight is definitely helping. I hope to someday make it back to the person who was gloriously unware of what she looked like. Especially while acting.
9. Today has been the longest day ever. Clock, I would just like to get home to hang with The Boyfriend? Why do you have to insist on moving so slowly?
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I May Have Been a Bit Hasty
Today I am back to loving my hair. I blame yesterday on a combination of the fact that it was Tuesday and I was having a bad hair day.
I would still like to dye my hair black someday as it's the only color I have not tried, but I will have to save that for a later date.
I may have lost another pound, but I'm hesistant to record that as official as the scale was being very nice this morning. So officially I have lost 12 pounds, but tomorrow that may change to lucky number 13.
Today, I am wearing a pair of capri pants that last year were a staple in my wardrobe. Alas, this year they will be no more as the only thing holding them up is a very tightly drawn belt. Although, these may go into the "Pants I Am Going To Make Into A Skirt" pile as I do love them very much.
Did you watch American Idol last night? As much as I really hate hearing "Imagine" (only because I have been tortured over the years by that song too many times by people who fancy themselves singer/piano players) I absolutely LOVED David Archuleta's version of it. He was so smart to NOT SING THE FIRST VERSE, which is in fact the only verse most people know. I thought he did a fantastic job, although I totally dug Danny Noriega's performance as well as David Cooks. I thought the men really stepped it up, except for Jason Yeagers horrible dancing around while singing. I had to leave the room, I could not handle it.
Oh, and Luke Menard? Your acapella group is no Trenchcoats, so step off.
I would still like to dye my hair black someday as it's the only color I have not tried, but I will have to save that for a later date.
I may have lost another pound, but I'm hesistant to record that as official as the scale was being very nice this morning. So officially I have lost 12 pounds, but tomorrow that may change to lucky number 13.
Today, I am wearing a pair of capri pants that last year were a staple in my wardrobe. Alas, this year they will be no more as the only thing holding them up is a very tightly drawn belt. Although, these may go into the "Pants I Am Going To Make Into A Skirt" pile as I do love them very much.
Did you watch American Idol last night? As much as I really hate hearing "Imagine" (only because I have been tortured over the years by that song too many times by people who fancy themselves singer/piano players) I absolutely LOVED David Archuleta's version of it. He was so smart to NOT SING THE FIRST VERSE, which is in fact the only verse most people know. I thought he did a fantastic job, although I totally dug Danny Noriega's performance as well as David Cooks. I thought the men really stepped it up, except for Jason Yeagers horrible dancing around while singing. I had to leave the room, I could not handle it.
Oh, and Luke Menard? Your acapella group is no Trenchcoats, so step off.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Official Proclamation
I hate my hair.
I just don't know what to do with it anymore. Most of the problem is that I am just too lazy to actually style it most days.
I can't cut it, I am saving that for when I hit my goal weight and then I plan on chopping my hair off and donating it, so cutting it now is out of the question.
And I can't dye it black (which is another idea I have) since we are about to shoot Episode 7 for the sitcom.
I hate it when this happens. I usually have tons of ideas/photos of what I want to do with my hair next. I guess I should spend some time trying to figure out why I have this obsessive need to change my hair all the time.
Oh yeah. By the way, I've lost 2 more pounds.
I just don't know what to do with it anymore. Most of the problem is that I am just too lazy to actually style it most days.
I can't cut it, I am saving that for when I hit my goal weight and then I plan on chopping my hair off and donating it, so cutting it now is out of the question.
And I can't dye it black (which is another idea I have) since we are about to shoot Episode 7 for the sitcom.
I hate it when this happens. I usually have tons of ideas/photos of what I want to do with my hair next. I guess I should spend some time trying to figure out why I have this obsessive need to change my hair all the time.
Oh yeah. By the way, I've lost 2 more pounds.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
At Least I Think So
I don't know if my dentist realizes how wonderfully ironic it is to play a "blues" radio station while drilling on his patients teeth, but I thoroughly enjoyed it both the irony and his obvious love for the music.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Idol Tongue
Dear New Season of American Idol:
I'm not sure what the you are feeding the contestants during "Hollywood Week", but it seemed that every person who got up to perform last night had a purple, green or whatever color tongue. It weirds me out. Stop it.
Is this what is supposed to make this season "more dramatic than ever"! I want to find Ryan Seacrest and tape his mouth shut. His voice-over work is freaking ANNOYING.
Just because you keep telling me over and over again that the contestants are more talented this season doesn't actually make it so.
What was with all the hype about people being allowed to play instruments this season? Most of them sucked and were cut instantly. And not in any kind of dramatic fashion either!
While I do like the new way Hollywood Week has played out, it's definitely LESS dramatic than before. I miss the contestants being put in groups and the inevitable break-downs and personality clashes that followed. THAT was drama. THAT was fun to watch.
You know what's not dramatic? Introducing me to someone I've never seen before and then assuming I will give a shit when they get cut. How can I care about their sob story if I have no idea who they are until 30 seconds before they are cut from competition?
Ugh. I'm so happy the writers strike is over.
I'm not sure what the you are feeding the contestants during "Hollywood Week", but it seemed that every person who got up to perform last night had a purple, green or whatever color tongue. It weirds me out. Stop it.
Is this what is supposed to make this season "more dramatic than ever"! I want to find Ryan Seacrest and tape his mouth shut. His voice-over work is freaking ANNOYING.
Just because you keep telling me over and over again that the contestants are more talented this season doesn't actually make it so.
What was with all the hype about people being allowed to play instruments this season? Most of them sucked and were cut instantly. And not in any kind of dramatic fashion either!
While I do like the new way Hollywood Week has played out, it's definitely LESS dramatic than before. I miss the contestants being put in groups and the inevitable break-downs and personality clashes that followed. THAT was drama. THAT was fun to watch.
You know what's not dramatic? Introducing me to someone I've never seen before and then assuming I will give a shit when they get cut. How can I care about their sob story if I have no idea who they are until 30 seconds before they are cut from competition?
Ugh. I'm so happy the writers strike is over.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Even Less
It's Tuesday, which is my official "record my weight on my Nutrisystem account" day.
And,
I've lost an even 10 pounds!!
I think I will celebrate by purchasing a new pair of pants. I'm fairly certain that the people I work with are getting tired of seeing my ass-crack every day. I can't help it! My pants are too big and for some reason I seem to own a fair amount of pants that do not have belt loops.
But who cares, I am 1/8 of the way to my goal weight! Everyone can just deal with my offensive behind.
There's a nice joke in there somewhere, but I am too wired on coffee and excitement to find it myself.
And now for the part where I really share too much information.
So, I have read in several places that estrogen is stored in fat cells. Which means that as you lose weight, estrogen is released into your body and you can be a bit more emotional than you usually are (Everyone at this point should definitely feel sorry for The Boyfriend. I'm not kidding).
I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago because I had been a bit more emotional than usual and it made perfect sense. Imagine to my complete surprise when I started my period 5 days early. I actually laughed out loud.
So yeah, apparently not only does losing weight mess with your emotions, it messes with your cycle.
Okay, this might only be funny to me, but still, it's been a LONG TIME since I was surprised by starting my period. I feel like I'm back in junior high.
Except I have more zits now than I did then. Figure that one out.
And,
I've lost an even 10 pounds!!
I think I will celebrate by purchasing a new pair of pants. I'm fairly certain that the people I work with are getting tired of seeing my ass-crack every day. I can't help it! My pants are too big and for some reason I seem to own a fair amount of pants that do not have belt loops.
But who cares, I am 1/8 of the way to my goal weight! Everyone can just deal with my offensive behind.
There's a nice joke in there somewhere, but I am too wired on coffee and excitement to find it myself.
And now for the part where I really share too much information.
So, I have read in several places that estrogen is stored in fat cells. Which means that as you lose weight, estrogen is released into your body and you can be a bit more emotional than you usually are (Everyone at this point should definitely feel sorry for The Boyfriend. I'm not kidding).
I was thinking about this a couple of weeks ago because I had been a bit more emotional than usual and it made perfect sense. Imagine to my complete surprise when I started my period 5 days early. I actually laughed out loud.
So yeah, apparently not only does losing weight mess with your emotions, it messes with your cycle.
Okay, this might only be funny to me, but still, it's been a LONG TIME since I was surprised by starting my period. I feel like I'm back in junior high.
Except I have more zits now than I did then. Figure that one out.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Once
Have you seen this movie?
If you haven't, you should. I'm not kidding, run out and see it right now.
And then go buy the album. And listen to it obsessively at work, while running, etc. And then when you're not listening to it, have the music running through your head over and over again.
Or, ya know, don't. Maybe I'm the only one who freaking loves this movie and the music.
I think it's because I don't get this excited about music from a movie that often.
Or I just really have a thing for singer/songwriters.
Whatever.
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