Friday, April 29, 2005

I'm Going to Jump Off A Bridge

Would you like to join me?

Okay, sorry for the lame joke, you can blame him.

I don't have much to say today. I am extremely happy that it's Friday. Not that it's been a tough week, but I have lots of fun stuff planned for this weekend. Starting with a yard sale tomorrow morning, a wedding Saturday night and absolutely nothing planned for Sunday except sleeping in and maybe a hike.

I guess that's all.

Have a great weekend.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

"I'm All Out of Love"

for Carrie Underwood. Honey, I was cheering for you. I still think you have a great voice, but your song choices are just sad. When Anthony Federov picks a better song than you, it's really time to cowboy up.

American Idol was pretty boring last night. I was more interested in dyeing my hair than really sitting down and watching. Except when Bo performed, because that dude is amazing.

Everyone else is just more of the same so I won't dwell on AI today.

Except that I don't have much else to say.

I am going to a wedding this weekend. Bought a new outfit and everything. The Boyfriend did too. It's nice to get all dressed up and pretend to me grown-up every once in awhile.

The wedding we are going to is some friends that we don't get to see all that much. Have you ever met someone that you just clicked with and then because of life stuff you just don't get to see them all that much? That is how I feel about Rachel. We did a play together like 3 years ago and I really miss seeing her all the time. She makes me laugh. So does Keith, her fiance'. They are a great couple and I can not wait to attend their wedding.

By the way, it's really weird being of the same age as the people whose weddings I attend.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


I was just going to write this whole thing about the bruise on my face, but then I realized that it was boring and stupid.
Here is a re-cap anyway. I have a small bruise on my right cheek, apparently from the dentist. I always knew that I bruised easily, but this is just funny. IT'S FROM THE DENTIST. I don't remember anything hurting, but then again, my mouth was numb.

So I have to go back 3 more times to finish the work needed on my teeth and I am a little worried. I mean, am I going to walk away from this with 4 bruises on my face? I am going to have a hard time getting people to believe they are from the dentist, except that it's really a strange bruise and The Boyfriend would have had to just shove his thumb into my cheek. And that would be just mean.

Did you watch "Medium" last night? I really enjoy that show. The only bad thing is that it starts at 10, so I am usually asleep before the ending. This is why I love buying shows on DVD.

Have you bought the "Arrested Development" season 1 DVD's? That is my favorite show and it is even more amazing on DVD. I can't wait for season 2 to come out.

On a final note: The horrible neighbors with the band had a bar-b-que last weekend. The band made a full appearance and everything. Here is the worst part about that. The singer they have chosen has the highest, nasaliest, most grating voice while speaking, so imagine what he sounds like singing. It ain't pretty. Also, they now seem to think they are a blues band, so they have decided to learn how to play harmonica. They suck.
And if spending hours listening to 2 stoned out spaz's bang on conga's and sing along to Beatles' songs isn't a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon, I don't know what is.
The Beatles should come over and kick them in the nuts for ruining their music.

Friday, April 22, 2005


I went to the dentist this morning, my first of four visits. How did I get so lucky? Well my last dentist was a total jerk, and since he never took x-rays (or really did anything) I have some lovely decay/pre-cavities that need to be taken care of.

My first visit was this morning and all went well and very quickly. I haven't had my mouth numbed in awhile. I forgot how weird it feels. Plus, when my boss walked in this morning, she was giggling at me and knew right away that I was still numb. I can tell that I am going to be in a lot of pain when the numbness has all worn off and I am not looking forward to it. Oh well.

So back to my last dentist. He was NOT a nice guy. I went in for 2 cleanings, and each time he told me that I needed to get my teeth bleached. Now, I have fairly white teeth. Not "Hollywood White," but not bad. The problem lies in one of my front teeth. I had a root canal on it when I was in the 5th grade, and it is slightly darker than the rest of my teeth. The dentist was convinced that I needed to let him break open the seal on my tooth and re-bleach it from the inside. To the tune of $500-$600. Of course not covered by insurance.

I said no. The first time he was mildly annoyed, but backed off after I explained that it was just something I could not afford right now.

6 months pass and I go in for my next cleaning. The pressure to let him bleach my tooth starts up again, and again I say no. Really, there is nothing wrong with my tooth and I sure as hell ain't letting this jerk push me around.

Then, he tells me "You know, you need to get that fixed before it gets too dark and it's unfixable. Besides, people have to look at that you know."

WHAT AN ASS. Really, I didn't realized that my slightly darker tooth was insulting you. Or the people who see me every day. Thanks for letting me know how ugly I am to look at.

Needless to say I have never been so mad at a dentist before. My tooth is no where near being so dark it is unfixable. Then, they never sent me my 6 month check up notice. So I looked up my old dentist, who is just now covered by my insurance and I am now a happy customer of Smile Dental in Culver City. Seriously, he is the nicest dentist I have ever met. He greets everyone (as much as he can) when they walk through the door, his name is Dr. Rad and he has this really cool Russian/Slovanian (I think) accent.

This morning he greeted me by name. Seriously, how cool is that.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

It's 70's Night and I Feel Alright

I think they do a "70's Dance Music" night every year, but this year it seemed like they were just trying to let Bo and Constantine have a fun night.
I don't care who you are rooting for, Bo was clearly the winner of the night.
So, in order of appearance (that I remember):
Constantine: Did a great job, picked a song I thought really suited him and wasn't totally overdone. Although, he is still way too cheeseball in his performance and I thought the eyeliner was a bit much for 70's night. Still, great singing last night.
Carrie: Oh honey, whoever is dressing you MUST be giggling hysterically whenever you go onstage. That outfit and hair was just horrible. It was 70's night, I can't believe no one wore some Gold Lame'. I love how weird the lyrics are for that song, but Carrie obviously didn't get it, nor did she want to. Also, her performance was boring. I am getting really tired of her picking the wrong song for her. She has an amazing voice and yet, why didn't she get nailed for doing the same thin they accuse Nikko of doing?(Picking songs with only great endings. Not to say that her song was boring, it's just that she was a boring performer until the last note). Also, her fake ultra-southerness is getting out of hand. I believe that you are from a small southern town. But I think Carrie and Vonzell are in competition for southerness, which would be interesting if I gave a crap about Vonzell.
Anthony: Oh man, I really hope he is gone tonight. His performance is just boring. Everything is so uplifting, all the time to this guy. Great, but as a performer you should probably be able to do more than one type of music. I would love to see him just stand there and sing a ballad, except that I would have to watch him just stand there and sing a ballad. Plus, he looks like Nick Carter about 100 pounds ago and it just creeps me out.
Anwar: Gosh, I really want to like this guy. He has a great voice, he seems really nice and he has a really pretty face. I enjoyed his performance last night. But overall, I think he is a so-so performer. I was a little disturbed that I almost saw nipple last night, because his shirt was open so low. Plus, it looked like he was picking his underwear out of his butt at the end of his segment. Scott: I have been rooting for him from the first audition, but he got so depressing to watch for awhile. Last night was the first time I have ever seen him look comfortable on stage and actually look like he was having a good time! I think that was his best performance yet. It was a great song choice for his voice (although I think he should have sang it in a higher key. This guy has a great tenor voice and needs to learn how to use it). I felt bad for him that the judges weren't nicer. I think someone must have talked to him about his attitude, because he actually handled Simon's comments well. But the story at the end about how he chose the song was so painful The Boyfriend changed to another channel.
Vonzell: I don't know why I hate her so much, but I do. She is so over choreographed, over-rehearsed and boring. She seems so fake to me and she just makes me so angry! I honestly feel like she only picks songs she has performed before. I don't think she does anything new, different, or actually difficult. Every song she has picked has been done a thousand times before and she never talks about songs being new to her. She has a decent voice, anything else about her is annoying.
Bo: I have never tried to hide the fact that Bo is my favorite. Last night should have proved to you why I think he is so awesome. I completely agree with Simon on the fact that Bo has had some bad weeks and that this was a come-back for him. Plus, I like the fact that everything he does on stage seems very organic and natural. He just lets the performance take him where it will. No overdone winks to the camera or over-rehearsed dance moves, the dude just performs. If he isn't in the top 2, I really don't care who wins.

On a final note:
Um, DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A NEW POPE? Seriously, this needs to end. Not everyone in the world is Catholic and I think it's disgusting that this seems to get more attention and people actually think this is more important that when we elect a new President. Plus, I hate realizing how many conservative people there are in the world.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Hey A-Hole

An open letter to the Trash that lives next door.

Dear Pieces of Crap:
It was The Boyfriend and I that called the cops on you, you complete tool. They didn't just "make the rounds," they were called 3 times over the space of 4 hours to complain about your drum circle/party you were throwing. (Again, like you do every Friday or Saturday night.)

Let's start from the beginning. Where in the hell did you move here from? Do you really believe that as mid-30 somethings that you are still in college? No one thinks couches and Camaros on the lawn are cool. No one thinks you washing your car with heavy metal playing loudly on the stereo is cool (especially since you are really nothing to look at with your shirt off) nor do they want to share in your AWFUL taste in music. Your car sucks and you obviously have a small pecker.
We knew the group of you were bad news the first night you moved in. But then you quieted down, and we just mildly disliked you.

Then one of you got the brilliant idea to start a band. Seriously, NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY MUSICAL TALENT WHATSOEVER. And your singing sucks too. It's bad enough that you start band rehearsal at 10 pm, but add to the fact that you can't keep time on a drumset to save your life and it just means hours of anger for The Boyfriend and I. I don't know how you got the word out to every trashy-stuck-in-the-80's person in the neighborhood, but your house has become their meeting place. WHY? Why do we have to listen to you talk about how awesome your band is? Why do we have to listen to you talk about the brilliant ideas on how going to get your equipment moved around? (A flatbed truck, seriously? My personal favorite was the Sea-Doo trailer) No one could possibly hire you, YOU SUCK. Seriously, you suck. Don't believe what I hear your friends telling you. They have to be going home and laughing at you for believing that you could actually get a band up and running.
Here's the kicker. There is a real band that lives across the street. How do I know? I see them actually loading up their equipment into their van and heading out for gigs. I hear them practicing (in the middle of the day to be polite) and they actually have some great music. AND THEY CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEIR INSTRUMENTS. Granted, one of them had sex with his girlfriend in her car while it was parked on the street, but that was when they first moved in and it hasn't happened again, so I will chalk it up to them just being grungy and "cool."

Rest assured, we have already decided to start looking for a new place to live. After watching half the neighborhood walk by your place on Sunday and look horrified at the beer bottles and car mess that you had left on your front lawn/porch, I figured we had probably had enough. I plan on finding out who owns that house and giving them a nice informative phone call. I will become best friends with police dispatch as I call in complaints as much as possible. And then after I move, well, The Boyfriend and I have lots of fun stuff planned. Cause my favorite saying is this: "Revenge is better than Christmas."

And believe me neighbor, Christmas is coming WAY early this year.

Your hateful neighbors that yell "Shut Up" at you as often as possible,
Chez Sarcastica

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Oh Man!

I can't believe that Nadia was voted off American Idol. And even worse, I can't believe Bo was in the bottom 3. Okay, I know I shouldn't complain because I don't vote, but WHY IS ANTHONY FEDOROV STILL IN THIS CONTEST. Watching him sing is like watching a geeky 15 year old boy hit on a gorgeous 30 year old woman, kind of funny but mostly just awkward, weird and completely annoying after awhile.
Watching Vonzell and Anwar is about as much fun as watching paint dry, and Constantine just really annoys me now with his constant flirting with the camera. Seriously, how did his band every treat him like a real rocker? The boy obviously needs to be in a few boy band videos, he seems to have the moves down already.
My biggest problem with Nadia and Nikko being voted off already is that they were interesting to watch. They didn't always pick the best songs, but they always performed the heck out of them.
Except for Bo, everyone that's left is just boring. No one does anything original or interesting.
Please remind me why I watch this show.

Have you heard about the shootings on the freeways in L.A.? It's getting really weird around here. I have never been so happy with my 3 mile-all side street- commute in my life. I can't imagine anything worse than driving along, minding your own business and then WHAM! the guy sitting next to you is dead. And so is the guy sitting behind him.
Carpool would never be the same after that. I mean, how can you complain about the traffic anymore?

On a final note-
The Boyfriend and I made our usual Thursday morning romp to the gym, and as usual, no one was there to work the front desk. As we are walking by, I see him reach over and turn a sign face-down.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because, I just hate this place"
I couldn't stop laughing. Haven't you ever caught yourself/someone else doing something so juvenile and passive aggressive that it's just ridiculously funny?

At least it made the first part of the workout go faster.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Hi Again

So, I have already succumbed to the "sorry I haven't posted in awhile" thing that bloggers like to do. While The Boyfriends Mom was visiting, I just didn't have time or the energy or really anything to say.

It seems that people in my office like to come to work sick. And then complain about how sick they are. Meanwhile people are dropping like flies around them and the one person who brought the sickness into the office is still milling about looking for sympathy because they feel like crap and they "don't want to go to the doctor because they hate doctors." How can you hate doctors? They make you better stupid person! And they provide lovely drugs with which to make you better.

The reason I am bringing this up is because I spent all of last week feeling like total crap. Not sick, but just "off" enough to know that I am totally fighting off the sickness that has permeated my office. Seriously, what is wrong with people like this? GO HOME. No one cares that you are sick, because you have succeeded in getting everyone sick around you and now we all just hate you.

On another note, The Boyfriend and I have started compiling a list of several ways to tell if people are going to suck at driving. Feel free to add to it based on your own experience:
1. You are old and you are wearing a baseball cap.
2. You are female and you have stuffed animals lining your back window.
3. You talk on the phone while driving AT ALL.
4. You drive an SUV, you talk on the phone while driving and you have kids in the car.
5. You have kids in the car and you apparently need to yell at them, but only while turning completely around in your seat and not watching the road.
6. You drive any kind of kick butt sports car, because that means you can't drive over 20 mph.

I lost count on how many times we were almost killed this weekend by people talking on the phone while driving. It is really getting dangerous out there.

We went to the Getty Museum on Friday. I love that place. It has my favorite painting which is only my favorite because the faces are so life like they actually creep me out.

So of course I bought a print of it, so I can be creeped out at home.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Showtunes Really Aren't That Bad

So, I haven't posted in awhile. I haven't really had anything I felt was worth talking about. Then I decided to post about American Idol last night, all the while realizing that this blog is so going to become only about what T.V. I watch. I seem to be okay with that.

So, last night's theme was Showtunes. Now I don't know what you think, but some really amazing music has been written as showtunes, not that you would have known that based off of last nights performances.

Why Bo Bice didn't sing something from "Tommy" or "Hair" or any other musical from the '70's is totally beyond me.

As The Boyfriend put it, "they are all picking the songs I fast forward through."

People, there are ages and ages of great, great music to pick from. Maybe the contestants all need to be assigned a song tutor to help with the selection.

I think I am going to quit watching until the final 3, because I feel more than one person needs to go a week.

On another note, I just had a really fun conversation with someone from IT about musicals and theatre and lighting designers. Seriously, how fun is it when you talk to someone you never realized was into theatre about "Guys and Dolls" and how "no one used to use microphones in my day" and some people just can't find their light, no matter how hard they try!

How bizarre.

Friday, April 01, 2005


Hello. It is hot today. Hot weather makes my brain melt.

You think I am exaggerating, but I'm not.

Don't you hate it when the weather gets colder and it takes you forever to remember to bring a coat with you whenever you go somewhere. Then, when the weather finally starts warming up, it takes you forever to remember/feel comfortable NOT bringing a coat with you?

The boyfriend is already comfortably past bringing a coat with him anywhere, but I am not yet, so there are lots of conversations about coats in the morning. I find it funny that a piece of clothing has such a hold over me. I must be getting old.